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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I have been Facebook searched

74 replies

Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:12

By my friends partner. He has over 1000 ‘ friends’ , we have no mutual friends and yet his partner pops up as a suggested friend on my feed . Any idea? We’ve never met .

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Bobbycat121 · 23/02/2019 15:13

Weird. I heard that FB does this when you search for people so sounds like he has.

ifoundthebread · 23/02/2019 15:13

I'm going to say yes. Only because once my landlord came up on my suggested friends - she lives the complete opposite end of the country. She told me she'd looked me up on fb but didn't know which account was mine as its completly private and my profile pic isn't me.

Hobbes8 · 23/02/2019 15:14

Do you have each other’s numbers stored in your phones? If so, Facebook with match you up that way. Sometimes it can just be because you’re in close proximity. Someone I vaguely recognised popped up as a recommendation on my Facebook - we’d travelled home on the same bus and popped into the same polling station to vote and when I got home there she was a friend suggestion.

He might have searched you, but you’ll never know for sure.

Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:18

Any way of enhancing privacy settings ? I’m
Clueless with Facebook! Bit weirded out by it. His partner is female and I know she doesn’t like the closeness of our friendship so I feel a bit strange about it . Maybe it’s me being strange about it!!!

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Fiveredbricks · 23/02/2019 15:18

It works the other way. The algorithm shows people you have searched for. Your cookies have just been linked somewhere down the line. Also if she is your friend's partner then she will show at some point regardless, even if not listed as partners if they have a lot of fb interaction between them.

Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:19

Sorry it’s a she who is searching me I think. It is he who is my friend and we live hundreds of miles away from eachother

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Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:20

They have little or no Facebook interaction .

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Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:21

Don’t have each other’s numbers and no link other than me and him having a lot of fb interaction

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MotorcycleMayhem · 23/02/2019 15:23

If you and he are friends, and he and her are friends, you two will be offered to each other by Fb as potential 'people you might know' because you have a mutual friend in common.

Doesn't have to be sinister.

MotorcycleMayhem · 23/02/2019 15:23

*friends on Fb.

TheresACatInMyLaundryBasket · 23/02/2019 15:24

Presumably they are friends though? So it's probably that.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/02/2019 15:25

I would assume she is listed as “in a relationship with” your friend and as you and your friend are FB friends then it’s an obvious “someone you may know” suggestion.

Myyearmytime · 23/02/2019 15:26

If I have someone going up in my friend suggest that I think mine be stalking me i block them

Talkingfrog · 23/02/2019 15:27

It suggests friends of people you are friends with. I have a number of people suggested because they are friends with a number of people I am friends with.

Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:29

No they’re not listed as being in a relationship . Just thought it was strange when not one of his other 1000+ friends was suggested! , ever

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Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:30

How do you block

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Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/02/2019 15:30

I am a member of two Facebook groups that I use merely for info.One local traffic group and the other is my DDs school. I have no interest in using Facebook for any other reason and so I have no ‘friends’ (I’ve even ignored requests from my DH and DF to be Facebook friends 😂). I have a locked down account even though I’ve not got any personal info on there whatsoever. My mobile number and email are associated with the FB account. And yet I have today received a ‘friends’ suggestion for one old acquaintance from DDs Primary school days (six years ago) and one for my good friend’s daughter (who is 15!). The first one I have an old mobile number number for in my phone and so presumably the algorithm has found her that way. The second, friends DD, I do not have a number or email for. So presumably, the algorithm has found my friend via either phone number or email, then searched her ‘freinds’ on FB and suggested them to me. Sounds like that what it’s done to you. Insidious isn’t it?

Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:34

Hate it but torn between loving my privacy and being on fb !!! Serious contradiction there

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Nanna50 · 23/02/2019 15:35

Friends of friends often pop up as ‘people you may know’. They can’t all possibly be searching for me at some point. There are too many and I’m not that interesting. Grin

Having said that if you have a close friendship with her BF and lots of Fb interaction between you both, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has looked you up. It wouldn’t bother me though.

Nanna50 · 23/02/2019 15:38

How could you know if none of his 1000+ friends haven’t been suggested? I couldn’t possibly scroll through all of my suggestions never mind check who the mutual friends were?

BlueBuilding · 23/02/2019 15:41

But if you are friends with her partner on Facebook and interact regularly with him, is it really that odd that she would have clicked on your profile?

Or if you are both commenting on the same posts etc, then it can also link you that way.

VioletCharlotte · 23/02/2019 15:44

Well, looking people up is kind of what Facebook is all about isn't it? Most of my friends would opening admit to searching up exes new partners or partners exes. It's usually just out of curiosity more than anything sinister. Just make sure your privacy settings are locked down so anyone who's not a 'friend' can only see your public profile.

VioletCharlotte · 23/02/2019 15:46

Oh sorry, just re read your post and see you said friends partner, not exes partner. No I don't think it means he's necessarily looked at your profile, it's probably to do with you having mutual friends.

Original poster
Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:48

I suppose i dont really know how it works! Every time there is a friends suggestion, I’ll invariably know who the mutual friends are and if I don’t i check . I have never ever got a suggested friend from his list which is why I thought it strange . I’m a bit strange about this kind of thing as I had a friend on the past who seemed to know my location and literally ask me how I enjoyed certain events/ places etc that she couldn’t have possibly known i attended so has to change privacy settings on my iPhone and WhatsApp . Dunno how to do that on fb .

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twattymctwatterson · 23/02/2019 15:50

What's the backstory here op? You say you have no mutual friends but you clearly do - your friend is a mutual friend. Is there some issue with this woman?