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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that I have been Facebook searched

74 replies

Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 15:12

By my friends partner. He has over 1000 ‘ friends’ , we have no mutual friends and yet his partner pops up as a suggested friend on my feed . Any idea? We’ve never met .

OP posts:
category12 · 23/02/2019 15:50

Why are you so weirded out by it, and why do you want to block her? It seems like a massive overreaction and it won't help if she doesn't like the closeness of your friendship with her bloke, it'll make things worse.

PrivacyPolicyYeahRight · 23/02/2019 15:51

I don’t think it’s the case. I have a few persistent friend suggestions with no links to me except living in the local area. They aren’t searching for me, I have no idea who they are and I don’t use my real name.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 23/02/2019 15:53

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you really like the idea that she's searched for you and you're sticking to that despite the fact that lots of people have offered you perfectly logical explanations for why she's popped up on your list - because you kind of enjoy the idea of her being a little bit jealous of your friendship with her partner.

She's on the list because you checked out her page. And don't say you haven't 😂

ALannisterInDebt · 23/02/2019 15:56

If you block her, and she notices (she will notice) it will look pretty suspicious.

Just check your security settings are high, decline or 'hide' the suggestion and it won't appear again.

Assuming you have nothing to hide, then continue to act normal.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/02/2019 15:56

You’re jealous of his girlfriend and want her to be jealous of you.

SaucyJack · 23/02/2019 15:58

“iterally ask me how I enjoyed certain events/ places etc that she couldn’t have possibly known i attended“

If you’re clicking “going” on public FB events, then it’ll pop up as a notification on your friends’ homepages. No stalking involved.

I don’t think social media is for you if you’re weirded out by the thought of people you know seeing your social life. That’s kinda the point.

Babyroobs · 23/02/2019 16:00

I have recently got a new job and the guy that interviewed me is now popping up as a suggested friend which freaked me out a bit. One of my friends suggested that it will have been because of him having my mobile number in his phone. Still seems odd to me and di worry me that he had been looking at my profile.

NannyRed · 23/02/2019 16:01

Facebook keeps suggesting a man who came to my house to so some work. I se my married name on Fb,my maiden name foe almost everything else so he can not have searched for me. It’s just creepy how fb works.

Mountainhigher · 23/02/2019 16:02

Jesus I have just had some laugh at some of these comments !!! Honestly... she is a persistent suggestion on the feed , that’s simply it . I really just wanted to know why she would be there when my friend has so many friends , yet she was the only suggestion . There is no angle here, no jealousy, no wishful thinking .. just a question which many of you have answered in a variety of ways so thank you all .

OP posts:
BlueBuilding · 23/02/2019 16:03

Still seems odd to me and di worry me that he had been looking at my profile.

Completely normal to FB stalk potential new employees. That's why you make sure your settings are really high.

category12 · 23/02/2019 16:04

But why are you so freaked you want to block her? She's just curious presumably. If you're not after her bloke, why is it a big deal?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/02/2019 16:04

nannyred did you call the guy from your mobile? FB uses mobile numbers you’ve called to offer suggestions

NoCauseRebel · 23/02/2019 16:06

Sometimes it just happens like that. Either way though why does it bother you?

My FB profile is private so anyone looking won’t find much to look at anyway, but I look up people all the time. If their profiles are public then they’re fair game IMO.

DaisyDreaming · 23/02/2019 16:07

I get suggestions for people I have been near, for example I briefly met someone who was in a show, spoke to them very briefly, they don’t know my name or anything about me so wouldn’t of looked me up. 6 months later Facebook still keeps suggesting I add him as a friend! Facebook suggested to my mum that she add our GP, the common factor is our phones have both been in the GP surgery

cushioncuddle · 23/02/2019 16:08

That's what fb is about. There is nothing odd about someone looking up a bf or gf friends. It's curiosity. They can look you up and you put settings to allow them access or not.
If you don't want people to look you up at all don't have fb.

Ididalwayswonder · 23/02/2019 16:09

You can remove suggested friends. She won't come up after that.

spugzbunny · 23/02/2019 16:11

It's because you spend a lot of time with friend. Facebook algorithms know you are together a lot and that he is with partner a lot and suggests you may be friends. My work friend got a suggestion for my dad who is 74 and has no idea who he is or how to Facebook stalk someone.

Highfever · 23/02/2019 16:12

You're messaging her OH and she's curious as to the threat level - if any. No drama.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 23/02/2019 16:12

I get matched with lots of random people. I am certain they’ve not been searching me.

supersop60 · 23/02/2019 16:13

There's nothing to worry about. FB often suggests friends for me who are friends of friends, I've never met them, nor am I likely to. Just ignore. If she wants to be your friend you will get a friend request, and you can still say no.
You are over thinking this.

spugzbunny · 23/02/2019 16:17

Facebook used many different ways of working out who or what to suggest to you. As people have said, it's your mobile number, your friends, your comments and likes, and and important one is location services. If you really want to check your privacy then lock all these aspects down. It's Facebook stalking you, not her.

Chathamhouserules · 23/02/2019 16:19

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you really like the idea that she's searched for you and you're sticking to that despite the fact that lots of people have offered you perfectly logical explanations for why she's popped up on your list - because you kind of enjoy the idea of her being a little bit jealous of your friendship with her partner.
This.

Its really normal for fb to suggest her because you both have a lot to do with your friend. Probably more than his other fb friends. Why won't you accept that?

chocolatebuttonsandcheese · 23/02/2019 16:24

Do you have their number? As it also links numbers from your Facebook to profiles.

QuirkyQuark · 23/02/2019 16:24

Fb is weird. I'm getting a name suggested repeatedly of a lady I bought chickens from about 7 years ago. I had sent her one email all that time ago and now 7 years later fb has decided we should be friends Confused

ViolaD77 · 23/02/2019 16:26

Yes, if someone searches you alot / you have their number in your phone / they have your number in your phone then that person will come up on 'people you may know'