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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut my daughters hair off?

72 replies

Holdmydrink · 12/12/2018 13:15

DD7 wants her hair cut very short, like boy short. She had a short bob currently, and asked in the summer about having it cut off. I felt it was a bit drastic, and explained that if she suddenly changed her mind, it'd take a looong time to grow back, but that if in a few months she still wanted it, I'd have another think.

Well she's still going on about it. I asked what her reasons were for this, and the only way she can describe it, is that she "wants to feel different", she wants to stand out from other kids.

Bless her, she was trying hard to explain what she means, but it feels like big thoughts for someone so little. I told her that it's totally normal to want to feel different and find out who you are, but inside I'm worried it's a little extreme.

AIBU to put it off for longer? One part of me wants to let her, the other worries. What is she doesn't like it, what if it doesn't suit her.

A side note, we think she has OCD, though this is being investigated, but this does mean she has a lot of anxiety. Is this related, what if it causes her more anxiety as she doesn't like it Confused

OP posts:
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Lucked · 12/12/2018 13:16

Get it cut, lots of lovely pixie cuts

WhoKnewBeefStew · 12/12/2018 13:16

Just let her do it. A girl in my dd’s class (7) has had a short cut and she looks fab.

CmdrIvanova · 12/12/2018 13:18

Do it. I begged to go from v long hair to a short bob at 7 and I can still remember how much I loved my mum for letting me have my hair the way I wanted.

Could you give her an appointment with a decent hairdresser as a Christmas present?

Cherries101 · 12/12/2018 13:20

Cut it to just above her shoulders first. Let her keep it that way for a week and if she wants it shorter after that then let her have it.

Rarfy · 12/12/2018 13:22

How about having a short fringe cut in as a compromise at first?

Amaaboutthis · 12/12/2018 13:24

DD had short hair. Personally I hated it and don’t ever think it looks good on little girls, but her choice and after a year or so she decided she didn’t like it and it’s now nearly back to her shoulders

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 12/12/2018 13:24

Can’t she try some amazing longer hair dos to be different?

I had very thick, long hair as a child and loathed it because it was always in an anti-nit pigtail.

When I saw the last olympics when the women athletes did all the amazing braids and swirls I really wanted to have done that with my hair. Sadly it is no longer thick nor long.

When I had it cut (about 13) into a bob I discovered that my lovely thick hair was actually like worzel gummidge when the weight of the length didn’t pull it down. I later had most of it shaved off (hey it was the 1980s) and that was that.

eggncress · 12/12/2018 13:24

Let her go for it. She’s obviously thought about it. Pixie type cuts are lovely.
As pp said, make it a Christmas present.

Dontknowwhatimdoing · 12/12/2018 13:24

I'd let her do it, if she has been on about it for months. It will eventually grow back if she hates it, and she may well love it.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 12/12/2018 13:26

Oh and not everyone suits a pixie cut. My old boss had one but she looked absolutely stunning and had just the right build and face to pull it off (very pretty, petite and trendy ex dancer).

PetuliaBlavatsky · 12/12/2018 13:26

Let her have it cut. You've already asked her to wait a few months, she has and she still wants it short. It's just hair, it'll grow back if she wants it longer again. Honestly, it's no big deal.

LittleLlamaontheduskyroad · 12/12/2018 13:29

I'd let her have it cut. It's her hair and she's old enough to know her own mind. She clearly wants to and has waited. If she ends up not liking it, life lesson learnt and hair grows. There's no rule about little girls' hair having to be long.

masterandmargarita · 12/12/2018 13:30

Short hair on girls is lovely.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 12/12/2018 13:33

Is let her look up photos of girls with short crops and see what she fancies - tell her that not all styles suit all face shapes and help her find something that will suit her.

WendyCope · 12/12/2018 13:35

OP I honestly could have written your exact post, except DD is 10. I have also waited for a few months. Went for the chop last week, long blonde curly hair is now rather dark and short, and she is delighted (me not so much!) If it's their choice, it's their choice and Good Luck!

PS Try not to cry in front of her like I nearly did!! But I didn't!

RandomObject · 12/12/2018 13:39

Not liking a haircut is unlikely to make OCD worse, don't worry about that, unless she already has obsessions/compulsions relating to her hair (source - I have it myself)

Beaverhausen · 12/12/2018 13:40

My daughter was the same she had long blonde hair down to her waist, so yes I did not want to cut it.

She had a pixie cut and loves it, yes people have asked her whether she was a boy or a girl but she just laughs it off.

Candy43 · 12/12/2018 13:43

It’s hair. It will grow back and isn’t part of the fun of hair that you can chop it, colour it curl it and even fake it. Let her experiment. It’s in a harmless way and may look lovely

Original poster
Holdmydrink · 12/12/2018 13:43

CmdrIvanova It feel that going to a bob from long hair is an okay step, something I wish my elder DD would do as her hair is a nightmare to maintain as it's getting sooo long! love that idea of a consultation for Christmas, I may just do that!

Cherries101 and Rarfy , she already has a fringe and a short bob (chin length)

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD yes, I know what you mean, she had quite a round face, which mean pixie cut won't suit her as much.

General consensus is for short, then? I've googled styles, but it's so tough to find nice pixie cuts for little uns. I love pixie cuts on older women, but haven't seen a girl DDs age with it, certainly with such thick hair Sad

OP posts:
WomanOfTime · 12/12/2018 13:44

Let her have it cut. Children have control over very few aspects of their lives and there's no reason why she shouldn't have short hair. If she does dislike it, it'll grow back.

Xuli · 12/12/2018 13:44

Go for it. 6yo DD asked for her hair to be cut "as short as a boy's" about a year ago, I think because she had a bit of hero worship for her new childminder's daughter who also had very short hair. It coincided with her wanting shorts for school as well, so she pretty much did look like a boy for 6 months before she changed her mind (thank Christ that was a year ago and not now, lord knows what questions we would have received now!).

We just explained that it would take a long time to grow out properly if she changed her mind, and once we were sure she understood that, we let her. It's just hair.

Original poster
Holdmydrink · 12/12/2018 13:45

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD anti nit pigtails Grin Grin Grin What my girls currently live in school wearing!!

OP posts:
Xuli · 12/12/2018 13:46

We went for this - didn't work in the end as DD turned out to have a double crown so her hair wouldn't sit right, but if your DD has thick hair this could work?

To cut my daughters hair off?
SootSprite · 12/12/2018 13:50

We have always told dd that it is her hair and therefore her choice. Why would you not let her have the style she has chosen?? If she hates it, newsflash - hair grows back!

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 12/12/2018 13:51

My DD wanted short hair when she was 9. Its her hair. I took her to the hair dressers and they cut it from just above her waist into a really fab pixie cut. She has immensely think hair that is really dark. She also has a very round face. She looked fantastic. Wish she'd kept it that way. She's grown it out now.