What was the worst school report you ever got?

[kennelmaid]

I was 10, in the last year at primary school. I knew my (male) teacher didn't like me very much. In the section about general attitude he wrote "kennelmaid is often sullen and can be a nuisance. She will find it very difficult to get on well in secondary school."

Year 9. Haltwitpicker is lazy, entitled and doesn't give a shit.

They were right

Grade 10, "rude hopeless and not on good terms with the Lord." well damn guess I'm going straight to hell! [Grin]

Unless nbee84 stops being lazy and knuckles down to actually do some work she will find herself in the unemployment queue, and given her current attitude to work I am sure she will find a way to fail there too!

In the lower sixth. I was forced to drop an A level - looking back it was bad teaching of a dry subject.
I managed to get a degree though in the end as you could go to a Poly with 2 A levels.
The one thing I regret in life (that was under my control) is not doing better in school. I’m prob about average intelligence but probably needed the interventions in maths that kids get these days pre-GCSEs so they pass!!

Games in the 4th year. "Greensleeves has convinced herself that she is useless. On the court she is lazy and stroppy and invokes a poor atmosphere with her irritating and critical remarks and behaviour"

Games in the 5th year: "Greensleeves has been conspicuous by her absence, not her ability"

All our school reports had to be positive so nothing terrible but my year 11 pe teacher said this about me - Ellie is very good at always remembering to bring her pe kit but she lacks confidence and skill.

“She has underperformed in every sport and produced below average results in every fitness test for her age” - I was 6.

“She shows no natural talent for acquiring vocabulary nor any understanding of grammar” - I was 7.

I’m a doctor and I’m fluent in french. (Although I’m still useless at sports, I’ve run half marathons and won dance competitions so I found my niche in the end!)

My now teacher friends were appalled at what they wrote about such a young child

Year 8 under my head of years comments
"Boo needs to concentrate on her lessons and less on male pupils. Her conduct around males is becoming an issue and clearly from this less than positive report, she needs to focus the same level of attention on her work as she does trying to attract the attention of the boys in her year group"
My mum went mad, actually slapped me one and was shouting at me about acting like a slapper. Dad read it and realised someone messed up as the rest of my report was glowing.
Turned out that she mixed me up with another girl in my year group. 4 of us in the year group had the same first name. I never got an apology, just a replacement report.

Fenella has strong and well argued opinions, which are all too frequently expressed. She will either be the next female PM, or an evil Dictator. At this point it is impossible to say which.

I was 6.

"Cares more about her lipstick than business studies"

Not wrong...

I can't say I ever noticed school reports at the time...like I literally can't remember seeing one at any point.

According to my DM I got a report in the first year of primary that said 'M3lon is immature and overly obsessed with collecting merit marks'. Again according to my DM she responded with 'M3lon was a premature baby born at the end of August and if you don't want to encourage children to strive for merit marks then why do you offer them as an inducement?'

We were graded 0 - 5 and I got 0 for Maths and the teacher wrote "Unsatisfactory" I did get grade C in O levels maths after my 3rd attempt. (Was in sixth form by then)

Year 8 “ distracts the class with irrelevant comments” pretty much every teacher. Dcs can believe I was one of those kids!

@halfwitpicker they actually said shit in your school report!?

Oh god no. Said something like she's 'unproductive and disengaged'

I never got a bad report because they clearly didn't know who I was. Most reports said; Incoming is quiet and needs to speak up more in class.
The one time a teacher was critical was when she told me off for not doing better in a county cross country race. Was the only one of the team not to get a badge. It was only at that point I asked a friend and realised it was a voluntary activity and promptly quit. I do not handle criticism well.

Art in 2nd year
"
When weegie draws it looks like a spider across the page"

Second year of primary. "LikeaTree is a very slow worker. She lacks initiative and appears complacent. I wish she would show a more cheerful face to the world and learn to look on the bright side of life."

Not a bad comment as such but similar to a pp, ds2's report read "Aiden tries hard and makes the most of his opportunities". His name isn't Aiden. When I pointed this out, we got a replacement one which said "SonGodiva tries hard and makes the most of his opportunities". 😀😀

Pressed send too soon. Meant to finish with it's hard to look on tjhe bright side of life at 9 years old when your teacher hates you!

Primary 5 my teacher said I had a sarcastic look about me

Actually ds2 got one when he was 3, from the head of preschool. Apparently the "way he expressed himself" was often "emphatic to the point of rudeness". On probing I discovered that they'd been walking in the nursery garden and she'd said "Ooh, look children, mushrooms", and ds2 had piped up "No, those are toadstools".

Not a school report as such, but was looking through one of my old Reception year books a few weeks back. Most of my stories had ticks, but after the one about 'waking up, going for a walk, seeing some cars and going home again' my teacher had written "boring and too short". She was right, if a bit harsh towards a 4 yr old.

Lol @edwinbear that's cold. I found mine a few years ago and "what I did at the weekend" always read "got up, watched Spiderman, had an egg". Every week. My poor teacher.

Mine was in sixth year, I had an unconditional offer of a place at uni so totally took my foot off the pedal and dicked about for the year.
I had to forge my mums signature because I was so embarrassed.
It was along the lines of ‘what the hell has happened...’
I went from being a straight A student to a drop out (actually I was thrown out of one subject) in a few short months...