What was the worst school report you ever got?

[kennelmaid]

I was 10, in the last year at primary school. I knew my (male) teacher didn't like me very much. In the section about general attitude he wrote "kennelmaid is often sullen and can be a nuisance. She will find it very difficult to get on well in secondary school."

The one that sticks in my mind most is the following from my RS teacher in year 9. It was words to the effect of:

"Jingled not only talks too much in lessons she coloured in a picture of the devil another student drew inside a bible. She's not welcome in my class next year".

This one divided my parents.

Don’t know what year but mine said “tries hard”. Sums me up totally!

"Anne needs to pay more attention in class".
My mum replied that the teacher obviously needed to pay more attention too s my name isn't Anne

One of my proudest achievements was getting 5 (the lowest) for effort and A (the highest) for attainment I’m Y9 RE and CDT!

“Strong willed and opinionated, a career in diplomacy is not on the horizon”

Totally true, I’m a stuck up bitch!

All of ours were positively worded and done from a template, I like the negative ones, they sound much more fun!

The worst comment I ever got was about being dreamy and not reaching my potential. My sister got "stubborn" in hers.

She has very little tolerance for those she deems to have a lesser intelligence than herself.

I was 5

I always used to get good reports as I was very quiet and shy but for some reason in year 4, I had a terrible one. Apparently I was stroppy and was prone to stamping my feet ... No one could understand why I was different that year only! I still maintain that I never, ever stamped my feet 😤

Same as PP, year 10 PE

'I am unable to comment on Green's progress this year as she has not attended class. She tells me she has forgotten her kit every week but I have no doubt that it is sat in her locker, unworn'

Mine was from CDT- we'd swap to a different CDT discipline each half term , but there were 7 in the rota for 6 half terms.

The report said "Inertia has tried hard in CDT, achieving her best results in woodwork". I didn't do woodwork at all that year.

‘Lou either produces genius work, or does not attend school at all. She would be a top student if she was consistent’

• I’ve since been diagnosed with bipolar lol

Not exactly my report but I was named in my friends report as being a bad influence. Actually named and shamed 🙈

Year 9: when hettiebettie realised the whole world does not revolve around her she will do much better.
When I did realise I really did do better....

When I was 9.
“PB Cackles like a witch and her lack of self control makes it difficult for 5B to get along with her”
I have ASD.

At secondary for PE I also had
“PB is an enigma, she works hard and has an excellent understanding and technical ability. She is also always keen to help others. However her clumsiness and occasionally short attention span can make for interesting Fixtures and events.”

Sounds about right tbh - I’m still all of those things.

dUHck must learn to make less of a target of herself.

I was being horrifically bullied at the time and it was very much a case of victim blaming. But because it was only verbal bullying it didn't count and none of the teachers listened to me.

German, autumn term of my O-level year: Lakie could do well if she came to lessons occasionally.

Got a B grade, which I didn't think was too shabby.

My first junior school teacher gave me some bad reports. This would be years three to five.
I didn't put the effort in, was clearly low intelligence and was a bad influence on the children around me. I can't remember the exact wording but she kept being very worried that I only had a "small circle of friends" and wasn't more gregarious.
My mum always believed the reports and used to really grill me about them. I was baffled, I was very shy and hardly said a word at school. I am left handed and struggled getting all my numbers the right way round, but found the rest of the work too easy so I'd day dream a lot.

My favourite report was in my final A level year. The PE teacher wrote:-
"I have not seen this student all year."
Yeah, that's because PE at that point was voluntary especially as I was doing an extra A level. I removed this piece from my report as my mum would still have told me off.

I never got a bad report because they clearly didn't know who I was. Most reports said; Incoming is quiet and needs to speak up more in class.

I suspect you're right. Decoding teacehrspeak is interesting,

A lot of mine said things like "Lakie always plays an active part in class discussions", which I suspect means "won't shut the fuck up".

duhk that’s awful x

I had some funny/sad ones on reflection. "Whirlwind doesn't seem to hear phonic sounds properly." (years later, as a teen, I was diagnosed as deaf!)

Year six: "I don't think that Whirlwind is concerned about anyone's approval but her own."

I can't really remember school reports much but I remember a couple of instances:

One was a games report where we had different groups based on ability. I was somehow stuck in the bottom group with the geeky people who were beyond rubbish at sport (like you'd pass them the ball and they'd completely miss it). I was by no means an athlete but far better than them. I told the teacher but they wouldn't move me so got fed up and just played myself. Then I got a comment that "richteabiscuits is good individually but not a team player".

Then another one was when I was at primary school. I was sort of a maths genius at that age (like Carol Vorderman on countdown) and my teacher set us a task to get 15 as many ways as possible (e.g. 16 minus 1). Most kids used up about a page or two but I used up my entire workbook with things like -100 plus 115 and 6 x 4 minus 9. I then basically got told off for taking the piss

One of my proudest achievements was getting 5 (the lowest) for effort and A (the highest) I used to do the same with class marks vs exam marks - on a marking scale from A+ to C- I several times achieved an E, but my exam average was always around 90%. It was not cool to be clever - you could just about get away with doing well in exams if you mucked around sufficiently in class. Ironically, a grammar school.

My brother's report from the Latin Master (who also had taught my father)

'when his mind body and books are in the same place at the same time, which is seldom, he occasionally produces some good work'.

I once got a PE report that said I was lazy and unhygienic! Turned out I had a girl in my classes report by mistake and we were told to swap them in class the next day. I always felt bad that she must know I had read her report about being a bit smelly :-(

6th form college, compulsory games: "We don't see 42 very often, but when we do she is always very pleasant".

Games teacher was initially gutted when she found out I wasn't sporty, as my older sister had played for the teams/county in netball, hockey and lacrosse. She took it well though in the end