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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think Tom hardy is not that good in bed!

81 replies

Gogreen · 17/09/2018 08:07

I had a sex dream with Tom Hardy and was utterly disappointed 😔

We met whilst I was on holiday (got left at a restaurant by my friends!!) and we went straight back to my hotel, we jumped in bed and started kissing.....wow it was terrible...he can’t kiss properly and reminded me off a horrible kiss that I had with a boy when we was teenagers!! I should have known right there that this amazing dream was going down hill fast Grin

He then jumped on top of me and well....let’s just say he was like a teenager who had watched way to much porn and had absolutely no idea what to do with a women, the whole thing just fell flat on its face and the dream ended!

I imagine he is good in bed in real life.....but in the dream world.....you need to up your game Mr hardy!!

Aibu to think i will never look at him the same way again 😭

OP posts:
MaudebeGonne · 17/09/2018 21:30

I have had a number of extremely intense sex dreams about Guy Martin, the northern car person. I have no interest in cars or motorbikes or anything oily other than chips but it was spectacular! As filthy as you would expect.

loubeylou68smellsofreindeerpoo · 17/09/2018 21:50

Simon Cowell 🤮 was v good but Michael hutchence was an amazing kisser

HollaHolla · 17/09/2018 22:16

I had a very disturbing sex dream about Matt Dawson (whilst he was still a rugby player). He went like a rabbit.
When I shared this with a friend, it turned out her sister had shagged him in real life.
Blush

Mrsharrison · 17/09/2018 22:23

Hutchence would have been a very proficient neck kisser I imagine. Gonna look at lots of pics of him before I go to sleep and see if I can conjure him up.

Firenight · 17/09/2018 22:29

Laughing too much at some of these. Only sex dreams I get tend to be about real life friends - makes socials down the pub feel awkward from this quarter afterwards.

YerAuntFanny · 17/09/2018 22:42

@OnTheBrink87 I also had a pretty energetic night with Michael McIntyre, I didn't have to pay though!

I once had a full on affair with Q from Impractical Jokers, I can't watch him now without staring into his come to bed gorgeous eyes and willing our paths to cross again :o

DeusEx · 17/09/2018 22:48

Paul Bettany is probably my oddest one. He was very sensual, and very freckly.

DeusEx · 17/09/2018 22:49

Just googled him. Can say I am retrospectively flummoxed. But it was such a good dream...

AlphaBravo · 17/09/2018 22:52

He is actually quite a good shag Blush or at least he was in the early 00's Grin

But my dream shag with Steve from Corrie was better for some reason.

CountFosco · 17/09/2018 22:57

I had a fantastic sex dream about George Clooney. I was so happy I told DH as soon as I woke up. He was very happy for me Grin.

AGirlCalledJohnny · 17/09/2018 22:58

Ooh Alpha! Good on you Wink

I’ve had top dream shags with Ricky Martin in a lift, he was very definitely not gay that night and Hugh Grant several times. Thus giving me an undying crush forever and ever.

My DH once had a dream that I snogged Calum Best in a nightclub and now he hates him with burning fire of a 1000 suns Grin

Mrsharrison · 18/09/2018 00:47

I want dream sex with Rudolph Valentino after we've done the tango in a sleazy waterfront bar - gonna go for it tonight.

passwordfailure · 18/09/2018 01:05

You're having sex with the wrong Tom, it should have been Berenger c1988. You youngsters just don't know who to dream shag Wink

SallyVating · 18/09/2018 02:00

Jurgen Klopp
Or bouffon.

That is all

That i

RememberForever · 18/09/2018 02:03

Once had a disturbingly vivid sex dream about Jimmy Nail and I'm only 33. He wore the jacket, so count yourself lucky.

KarlDilkington · 18/09/2018 02:06

I dream-shagged David Cameron once and he was so sexy. Ugh. Hate my own mind.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 18/09/2018 02:09

Hahaha did he sing as well? Some dee soon ah'm gooner tell that moon aboot the crying gemme ...

This thread is hilarious. William Hague the midwife! Grin

passwordfailure · 18/09/2018 02:10

I've also shagged Sean Bean, he was proper filth.

DeusEx · 18/09/2018 09:55

Oooh lucky you @passwordfailure I can imagine...

passwordfailure · 18/09/2018 13:05

DeusEx - happy to share, won't need him for a week or so. It's that "face like an unmade bed" look that gets me.

Mrsharrison · 18/09/2018 13:12

Jimmy Nail in his crocodile shoes - poor you. Hope he took them off before he "nailed" you.Shock

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 18/09/2018 13:26

Urgh why am I reading this whilst eating my lunch

Bad sex dreams are better than no dreams at all (unless it’s Trump ) I think my brain has some sort of parent control filter on it. Sad Had a dream about Henry Cavill - did it involve sex? Pfft no. I was upset as I’d especially made him a jumper and he had to cheek to refuse to wear it - it was fair isle the ungrateful git.

DarlingNikita · 18/09/2018 15:23

Deus, there's nowt 'odd' about Paul Bettany! He's my longest-term obsession but I've never to my recollection had a dirty dream about him. You're a lucky mare and I hate you a bit Grin

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 18/09/2018 18:14

I think he looks a bit like a young Robert Redford. So, yes, basically.

RabbityMcRabbit · 18/09/2018 19:55

God I love this thread! @password, of course SB is pure filth, no surprise there Grin