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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF House Guests!

80 replies

Guitarlady · 06/07/2018 20:41

I know I am not BU, but I really need to vent and this board seemed like a good place. A friend and her BF (early 30s) had to move out of her Dad’s place with just a couple of days notice, so I said they could come stay with me for a few days until their new flat was ready. I don’t have a spare room, so they slept on my sofa bed in the lounge.

He works part time, she isn’t working. A few days turned into almost 2 weeks and thank fudge they’ve gone… I’m a struggling single mum with 3 kids of my own.

I didn’t mind so much that they slept in while I’m up at 7am in the morning or that I had to get myself ready for work and a kids ready for school around them in the lounge and all their stuff that they’d leave laying anywhere for me to trip over (even though I’d said pile it up neatly in my DD’s bedroom), but I DID mind this ….

  • Getting home from work to find the sofa bed still out and them both just sitting there watching TV while there was a mess in the kitchen, spills everywhere and all the washing up from stuff they’d used during the day not even neatly piled up in the sink.

  • Dirty clothes just left on the floor of the lounge ALL DAY unless I picked it up or made a comment.

  • She’d eaten leftover lasagne that I had left in the fridge for myself as a late lunch after work, but also left a mess inside my microwave and the worktop, then left the plate for me to wash up when I got home from work… and her response was “it’s been in the fridge 2 days, so I thought I’d better eat it or throw it away!” – while a loaf of bread she’d bought sat in my cupboard till it went stale.

  • I worked double 12 hour shifts at the weekend, 8am to 8pm both Sat and Sun. I came home exhausted and found that they’d cooked for themselves using food out of my freezer (didn’t mind that so much) but spilled gravy all over my worktops and down my cupboards, left all of the dishes in the kitchen, both had baths (no hot water left for me) and were sat in my garden drinking alcohol. They also used the last of my bubble bath and didn’t tell me.

  • They used all my frozen veg to cook for themselves while I was working all over the weekend.

  • Using my toothpaste and squeezing it from the middle. Shudder.

  • Borrowing my phone constantly because both of theirs were out of credit, then getting phone calls and messages for them from their mates in the middle of the night.

  • Coffee / tea spillages on the sheets they used just left in my lounge … not even put in the washing machine. I did say they were welcome to use the machine for their stuff and showed them both how to use it.

  • Taken food out of my freezer “so that they had something to eat” because they don’t have any money.

  • Used my bin bags (heavy duty expensive garden ones) without asking.

  • Used my expensive hot chocolate powder without asking (I said help yourselves to teabags, coffee and juice.)

  • No thank you note left for me when I got home to find them gone today.

I just feel really taken advantage of. I’ve sent a text message, and got a really argumentative reply. It’s put me off ever offering to let people stay again. I feel better after venting.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 06/07/2018 20:45

Arseholes. At least they’ve finally gone.

Funkyslippers · 06/07/2018 20:46

Bloody hell that's awful. If they have no money they need to budget but taking other people's stuff without asking that they have bought from their hard earned cash is taking the piss. Never invite them again. Did you have no idea they were as lazy and selfish as this?

RandomMess · 06/07/2018 20:48

Wonder why they had to leave DF at such short notice Wink

So glad they have gone!

Noonelikesfruitcake · 06/07/2018 20:48

They sound like a charming pair of mannerless fuckwits. Good riddance and don't let them ever stay again! Poor you.

Thehop · 06/07/2018 20:49

Pair of scruffy gets. Get cleaned up and enjoy your space again

DarklyDreamingDexter · 06/07/2018 20:50

I'm amazed you lasted 2 days, let alone 2 weeks! CFs indeed. I wouldn't necessarily let it put you off letting anyone stay - just them. Delete andblock, who needs CFs like that in their lives?

PissPotPourri · 06/07/2018 20:51

I'm sorry. They're in your house for two weeks doing this and at no point did you tell them it wasn't acceptable?! No wonder they walked all over you.
You sound like a very caring person with more than enough to worry about, but in this instance you should have grown some balls!

witchofzog · 06/07/2018 20:52

Arseholes the pair of them. How did they reply?

BossWitch · 06/07/2018 20:56

They are twats. I'd consider the friendship dead, send back a message that really lays into them and outlines the fact that they are shit people, then block and move on.

Tistheseason17 · 06/07/2018 20:58

I'd unfriend...

Jozxyqk · 06/07/2018 21:00

They sound like a pair of charmless users. At least you're finally rid of them.

Singlenotsingle · 06/07/2018 21:03

Did alarm bells not ring when they were chucked out of DF's at short notice? You'll know another time! Haven't you heard "No good deed goes unpunished"?

InfiniteVariety · 06/07/2018 21:06

They should be ashamed of themselves. I would have cracked long before 2 weeks were up and told the lazy unappreciative CFs to fuck off

WanderingWavelet · 06/07/2018 21:08

Well, there's a couple to cross off your Christmas list!

concretesieve · 06/07/2018 21:08

You've been a wonderful friend and they are world class CFs. Ditch, and don't look back. Flowers

Shutityoutart · 06/07/2018 21:11

They ate your frozen veg?........ that might come back to bite them on the arse given today’s news?!!!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/07/2018 21:12

Gosh,they are unappreciative and messy too.
I sympathise getting back after 12hr day they’ve used hot water,bubble bath,flat a pigsty

Hushnownobodycares · 06/07/2018 21:13

Well, yes. You were taken advantage of (as was her dad by the sound of it) but why let it go on and on? Putting up with two weeks of this level of CF'ery is madness.

YouCanCallMeNancy · 06/07/2018 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DistanceCall · 06/07/2018 21:14

You live and and learn, OP. Hopefully next time you'll be able to recognise a CF earlier and NOT put up with it.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 06/07/2018 21:15

Honestly, no note,no thoughtful acknowledgement. just their shite everywhere

ThunderInMyHeart · 06/07/2018 21:17

You’re a lovely person, OP. Lesson learned with this pair though.

Mamia15 · 06/07/2018 21:19

They were definitely twats but you let them behave in this way - why on earth did you not say anything until now?

The number of mugs on here astound me - I've never experienced CF behaviour, that's cos I would say something at the start and I am not a people pleaser.

Grow some balls :/

Calatonia · 06/07/2018 21:21

Early 30s? They sound like 15 year-olds.... and badly brought up ones at that.
You're well rid of them - hope replacing the contents of your freezer isn't going to cause you financial hardship: have you considered sending them a bill for everything of yours they stole used without your permission?

HairDyedPink · 06/07/2018 21:21

you put up with them for 2 WEEKS? You are amazingly patient.

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