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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF House Guests!

80 replies

Guitarlady · 06/07/2018 20:41

I know I am not BU, but I really need to vent and this board seemed like a good place. A friend and her BF (early 30s) had to move out of her Dad’s place with just a couple of days notice, so I said they could come stay with me for a few days until their new flat was ready. I don’t have a spare room, so they slept on my sofa bed in the lounge.

He works part time, she isn’t working. A few days turned into almost 2 weeks and thank fudge they’ve gone… I’m a struggling single mum with 3 kids of my own.

I didn’t mind so much that they slept in while I’m up at 7am in the morning or that I had to get myself ready for work and a kids ready for school around them in the lounge and all their stuff that they’d leave laying anywhere for me to trip over (even though I’d said pile it up neatly in my DD’s bedroom), but I DID mind this ….

  • Getting home from work to find the sofa bed still out and them both just sitting there watching TV while there was a mess in the kitchen, spills everywhere and all the washing up from stuff they’d used during the day not even neatly piled up in the sink.

  • Dirty clothes just left on the floor of the lounge ALL DAY unless I picked it up or made a comment.

  • She’d eaten leftover lasagne that I had left in the fridge for myself as a late lunch after work, but also left a mess inside my microwave and the worktop, then left the plate for me to wash up when I got home from work… and her response was “it’s been in the fridge 2 days, so I thought I’d better eat it or throw it away!” – while a loaf of bread she’d bought sat in my cupboard till it went stale.

  • I worked double 12 hour shifts at the weekend, 8am to 8pm both Sat and Sun. I came home exhausted and found that they’d cooked for themselves using food out of my freezer (didn’t mind that so much) but spilled gravy all over my worktops and down my cupboards, left all of the dishes in the kitchen, both had baths (no hot water left for me) and were sat in my garden drinking alcohol. They also used the last of my bubble bath and didn’t tell me.

  • They used all my frozen veg to cook for themselves while I was working all over the weekend.

  • Using my toothpaste and squeezing it from the middle. Shudder.

  • Borrowing my phone constantly because both of theirs were out of credit, then getting phone calls and messages for them from their mates in the middle of the night.

  • Coffee / tea spillages on the sheets they used just left in my lounge … not even put in the washing machine. I did say they were welcome to use the machine for their stuff and showed them both how to use it.

  • Taken food out of my freezer “so that they had something to eat” because they don’t have any money.

  • Used my bin bags (heavy duty expensive garden ones) without asking.

  • Used my expensive hot chocolate powder without asking (I said help yourselves to teabags, coffee and juice.)

  • No thank you note left for me when I got home to find them gone today.

I just feel really taken advantage of. I’ve sent a text message, and got a really argumentative reply. It’s put me off ever offering to let people stay again. I feel better after venting.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 06/07/2018 21:25

So many things are explained - why her dad threw them out (I bet you didn't hear the truth about that) and why his job isn't offering him full time work and why she isn't working - they are so bloody entitled.

freakinbananaspiders · 06/07/2018 21:29

Hope the frozen veg was one of the recalled for listeria fears ones. I'd be sending them a text saying to look out for symptoms 😂

Guitarlady · 06/07/2018 21:31

Her dad had a lease on a pub where they both lived and she worked at the time for cash. Her dad gave up the lease then fucked off on holiday giving her just a couple of days notice to close the pub. She's a mate, so I offered to help them out. I didn't think I'd need to lay down ground rules for 30 year olds. I did mention a few things .... like I threw a complete shit fit after getting in on Sunday night last week after working 24 out of 48 hours and started loudly complaining about the state of the kitchen ... at which point she came in and said "Oh let me do this" and I said it should have effing well been done well before I got home!!

She isn't working as she has bipolar and is on disability - I try not to judge - she's a decent person in her heart and I know she had been through so much stress with her dad kicking her out of the pub and leaving it all down to her at the very last minute with no notice....

OP posts:
DoJo · 06/07/2018 22:28

know she had been through so much stress with her dad kicking her out of the pub and leaving it all down to her at the very last minute with no notice....

As much stress as someone who has last minute house guests who make no effort to demonstrate how grateful they are to have a friend like you who has done so much for them. You're a fucking saint - I'd have blown my top after a couple of days of their bullshit!

Bristolmary · 06/07/2018 22:58

sorry OP but no way is she a mate to take advantage of you like that - disabilty or no disability. She used you hun, fair enough if you came home to say the dish in soak but sounds like you've had a lucky escape with them gone. When they come knocking as they've been thrown out by their landlord for being disgusting, please don't let them back in.

NotANaturalBlonde · 06/07/2018 23:32

Cut these two morons out of your life forever and if she contacts you again tell her FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU CHEEKY SHAMELESS IRRESPONSIBLE CUNT!

Peace xx

Guitarlady · 07/07/2018 00:18

I fucking love MN.

OP posts:
Guitarlady · 07/07/2018 00:21

I'm still seriously pissed off. I've discovered cleaning products missing from my house too. I am just glad I hid my savings jar at the bottom of my wardrobe when thebfitst came to stay...

OP posts:
Guitarlady · 07/07/2018 00:21

*They first ... stupid phone lol

OP posts:
bringincrazyback · 07/07/2018 02:35

What awful people! Curious to know what their arsey reply said... Grin

TightPants · 07/07/2018 02:50

You’ve got the patience of a saint OP.
I wouldn’t have managed 24 hours with that pair of lazy freeloaders. I was pissed off just reading your post!
Seriously though, you sound very kind but bin her off as a friend. She’s one of life’s takers.

MoonsAndJunes · 07/07/2018 03:23

She is no 'mate' of yours. Disability or no disability, she and her scuzzy BF are rude CF.

Monty27 · 07/07/2018 03:39

guitar lady you might be learning the hard way like I and probably millions of other people have had to , NOT to be taken for a mug again. Sad but true.
And get those freeloaders out of your house, like Monday to be kind?
Their problems are not yours once they have drained the hand of friendship.
Good luck. Angry

MardAsSnails · 07/07/2018 03:45

I know the feeling. I’m entering month 4 of a 2 week house guest.

Be grateful they’ve gone now!!

Guitarlady · 07/07/2018 10:37

They took my fucking coffee!!

I stormed round there and made quite a scene. He threw it at me and told me to shove it up my arse. I don't think we are friends anymore.....

OP posts:
Foslady · 07/07/2018 10:53

Jesus!!! They bring CF to a whole new level!!!!!!

NotANaturalBlonde · 07/07/2018 10:55

Are you actually being serious?!

UnapologeticallyUnhinged · 07/07/2018 10:56

They didn't take it...they stole it! That was obviously pre-meditated. Just like stealing your cleaning supplies! And working cash in hand whilst claiming benefits, and there's you getting taxed on your working double shifts?!!!! Just nope.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/07/2018 11:06

I didn't think I'd need to lay down ground rules for 30 year olds.

I would have thought the same Guitarlady

They aren't kids - and they're in someone else's house - I'm always on my very best behaviour in someone else's house, and I would assume they'd be on their very best behaviour in mine!

longwayoff · 07/07/2018 11:07

Pair of total pigs. Hope u didn't give them a doorkey. Get better friends. Lose them.

crazychemist · 07/07/2018 11:08

Wow, that's a bit of an eye opener!

Glad you've got your house back to yourself! I imagine they won't be coming to stay again any time soon

CruCru · 07/07/2018 11:08

I know you’re angry. I would be too. However, perhaps this is a learning experience - you aren’t going to see her again. This is good - I get the impression that she is someone who ALWAYS has a problem or crisis.

You will also pause before letting any other buggers come to stay.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 07/07/2018 11:13

You put up with them for two weeks?
This is why I don't do house guests.
Mardofsnails - please tell me you're coming up with ways to get shot of yours. Four months? That's next level cfery.

WineGummyBear · 07/07/2018 11:16

It's over.

You are a hero.

You got them out of a spot.

You can now review whether to hang on to them as friends.

You are a hero.

It's over.

Pancakeflipper · 07/07/2018 11:18

They nicked your coffee and cleaning stuff???
Total CFs of furniture order after that fortnight of babysit them.

They should have springcleaned your place and left a thank you treat for you and your children.

Take solace in the fact you have big heart and they are big CF's.

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