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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF House Guests!

80 replies

Guitarlady · 06/07/2018 20:41

I know I am not BU, but I really need to vent and this board seemed like a good place. A friend and her BF (early 30s) had to move out of her Dad’s place with just a couple of days notice, so I said they could come stay with me for a few days until their new flat was ready. I don’t have a spare room, so they slept on my sofa bed in the lounge.

He works part time, she isn’t working. A few days turned into almost 2 weeks and thank fudge they’ve gone… I’m a struggling single mum with 3 kids of my own.

I didn’t mind so much that they slept in while I’m up at 7am in the morning or that I had to get myself ready for work and a kids ready for school around them in the lounge and all their stuff that they’d leave laying anywhere for me to trip over (even though I’d said pile it up neatly in my DD’s bedroom), but I DID mind this ….

  • Getting home from work to find the sofa bed still out and them both just sitting there watching TV while there was a mess in the kitchen, spills everywhere and all the washing up from stuff they’d used during the day not even neatly piled up in the sink.

  • Dirty clothes just left on the floor of the lounge ALL DAY unless I picked it up or made a comment.

  • She’d eaten leftover lasagne that I had left in the fridge for myself as a late lunch after work, but also left a mess inside my microwave and the worktop, then left the plate for me to wash up when I got home from work… and her response was “it’s been in the fridge 2 days, so I thought I’d better eat it or throw it away!” – while a loaf of bread she’d bought sat in my cupboard till it went stale.

  • I worked double 12 hour shifts at the weekend, 8am to 8pm both Sat and Sun. I came home exhausted and found that they’d cooked for themselves using food out of my freezer (didn’t mind that so much) but spilled gravy all over my worktops and down my cupboards, left all of the dishes in the kitchen, both had baths (no hot water left for me) and were sat in my garden drinking alcohol. They also used the last of my bubble bath and didn’t tell me.

  • They used all my frozen veg to cook for themselves while I was working all over the weekend.

  • Using my toothpaste and squeezing it from the middle. Shudder.

  • Borrowing my phone constantly because both of theirs were out of credit, then getting phone calls and messages for them from their mates in the middle of the night.

  • Coffee / tea spillages on the sheets they used just left in my lounge … not even put in the washing machine. I did say they were welcome to use the machine for their stuff and showed them both how to use it.

  • Taken food out of my freezer “so that they had something to eat” because they don’t have any money.

  • Used my bin bags (heavy duty expensive garden ones) without asking.

  • Used my expensive hot chocolate powder without asking (I said help yourselves to teabags, coffee and juice.)

  • No thank you note left for me when I got home to find them gone today.

I just feel really taken advantage of. I’ve sent a text message, and got a really argumentative reply. It’s put me off ever offering to let people stay again. I feel better after venting.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2018 11:19

Wow. No wonder the father didn’t give a shit about not leaving her with anywhere to live. As she’s on disability and therefore vulnerable. I would have thought she could have been temporarily housed.

Vile paid of animals eating all your food and stealing your stuff. Was there any sweet corn in the frozen veg?

Pancakeflipper · 07/07/2018 11:19

Not furniture - I meant highest order

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/07/2018 11:21

I just love autocorrect, don't you Pancake?

Pancakeflipper · 07/07/2018 11:25

Schaden - it buggers up every post I make on here. Makes me look more stupid than I really am.

Took me ages to get your name accepted as I typed this post and was determined to change buggers to huggers.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/07/2018 11:25

Wow!

Bloody good riddance - did you get your keys back off them ok? Mind you, even if you did, I'd consider changing the barrels on the locks or something, just in case the decide to "borrow" more of your stuff without asking!!

Wow.

HermioneWeasley · 07/07/2018 11:26

She is not “good in her heart”, she’s a shameless thief, freeloader and user. The fact you felt you had to hide your savings says you know that.

Being bipolar doesn’t make you a rude thief.

Snowysky20009 · 07/07/2018 11:29

I have bipolar and am disabled- I'd never dream of leaving someone's house like this! You'd come home to laundry and ironing done, (I struggle with the Hoover), tidying up done, washing up done and away, and I would have cooked food for you- it's part of saying thank you to someone. Some people are so entitled. 🤦‍♀️

StrangeLookingParasite · 07/07/2018 11:30

They took my fucking coffee!!

I stormed round there and made quite a scene. He threw it at me and told me to shove it up my arse. I don't think we are friends anymore.....

Oh fucking WHAT??? They have a fucking cheek, and him getting arsey at you taking back your own stuff!
No loss at all losing these dickheads as friends.

Huskylover1 · 07/07/2018 11:35

They used all my frozen veg to cook for themselves while I was working all over the weekend

It's been in the news today, that loads of supermarkets are recalling their frozen veg, due to it being infected with something very nasty. Karma

longwayoff · 07/07/2018 11:39

Whoops, just thought. When they have a major falling out and she knocks on your door for shelter direct her to the local authority. She is eligible for housing. Dont put her up even for 'just one night'.

ohfourfoxache · 07/07/2018 11:39

They are not friends. You’re genuinely best off without these leeches

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/07/2018 11:40

Pancake
You should see some of the howlers it's landed me with in the past!

I hardly dare show my face sometimes.

SoupDragon · 07/07/2018 11:40

did you get your keys back off them ok? Mind you, even if you did, I'd consider changing the barrels on the locks or something, just in case the decide to "borrow" more of your stuff without asking!!

This. Definitely change the lock!

Furx · 07/07/2018 11:43

Good grief, me and DH couch surfed for a few weeks when we had a similar situation (live in job at a pub and it went out of business overnight and left us up,shit creek)

we stayed with 3 different Friends till we got a flat sorted, for each person we we stayed with, we cooked most meals for them, cleaned (whole house inc spring clean for one who I knew would appreciate it) did a major garden tidy (DH was a gardener by trade) AND got rid of all waste. Bought ALL our own food, toiletries etc and replaced double when we used of shared stuff like bog roll and washing up liquid.

Each one of them expressed disappointment we were leaving (we had set a limit of a week per person no matter despite each invite being for a couple of weeks). And is STILL couldn’t share the feeling I was being a CF for even asking.

Im clearly a total amateur

Cupoteap · 07/07/2018 12:28

She's nicked stuff😲

Winetime0909 · 07/07/2018 12:33

With any luck they'll catch listeria from your frozen veg and you won't be bothered by them anymore Wink! All jokes aside what a pair of CF and I hope this means you won't be offering to help them again!

starfishmummy · 07/07/2018 12:38

What others have said. Get the lock changed...today

Potterurotter · 07/07/2018 12:41

Cut them out of your life cheeky bastards! You are very kind

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 07/07/2018 13:33

Bloody hell the cheek of some people!

AmericanEskimoDoge · 07/07/2018 13:41

Um, yeah... I wouldn't bother with them again. They sound horrible!

I'm a cold-hearted so-and-so, because I wouldn't have offered them to stay with me in the first place. Unless they're close family (that I like/love) or a lifelong best friend (who I'd know would be appreciative and understand the basics of how to be a good guest), they're not staying here. They'll work something else out.

(Tbh though, I hate having "other people" in my home for more than a day, so even well-behaved guests that I normally enjoy socializing with get on my nerves before long. Some of us need our space more than others...)

Maelstrop · 07/07/2018 13:47

She’s on disability yet works in her dad’s pub for cash? I don’t think she is a nice person, OP. Nicking stuff on the way out is fucking beyond!

Excited0803 · 07/07/2018 13:55

When she turns up at your door again, make sure you send her packing regardless of what she says. She doesn't care about you nor your children, she only cared about what she could take from you; you should treat her accordingly because that will never change whatever excuse or pleasantry she turns up with next time.

Excited0803 · 07/07/2018 13:57

And you can report them for benefit fraud here if you feel like it: www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud. After the way they've treated you, they don't deserve your confidence.

ParisNext · 07/07/2018 13:58

She is not your friend. That should be the end to your relationship with her. I am terrible for making a mug of myself by helping. Look after yourself - I am trying to learn to say no more often,

user1485342611 · 07/07/2018 14:10

They sound like a pair of charmless losers with no consideration for anyone, no shame and no manners.

Just as well they found each other. They're obviously well suited.