I've done something terrible

[badmum01]

I just need to get it out there as I'm in tears.

DC2 is 6months old and I haven't taken them for any of their immunisations.

The letters kept coming through and I've kept burying my head in the sand.
After DC1 had his last injections we ended up at the hospital and even though he's fine now and all the symptoms went away on their own in the end no one managed to find out why he reacted like that to them and I'm terrified it will happen to DC2.

I've received a letter today saying I can discuss lack of immunisations with my GP if I wish, I plucked up the courage and called them and the receptionist sounded aghast when I've told her DC2 has not had anything at all.
She's made an appointment for a nurse to call me tomorrow to discuss.

I'm an awful mum aren't I and now I'm worried about what the nurse will say and feel like she'll be angry.

Your not awful. Talk to the nurse about your concerns and then put in place a plan for getting them done that works for you both

You are not an awful mum - just a worried one as you have had a prior bad experience. Give yourself a break and then tackle the conversation with the Nurse. Explain how you are feeling and then book an appointment where they'll give you extra time and consideration and start the process. In all likelihood DC2 will be fine and have no adverse affects but if the nurse understands why you've buried your head in the sand then they should be helpful and understanding not critical.

After such an awful time it is no wonder you put off having immunisations.

Do you want DC2 immunised? If you do then just tell the nurse that you needed time to feel ready and then book your child in. If not then explain that you aren't ready but will do it if and when you are.

They have no right to be angry at you but they are doing it for the wellbeing of your child.

No. You’re not an awful mum. You were scared and That must’ve been terrifying for you with DC1 and I’m pleased there were no long lasting effects, calling them about it was a big step, well done!

Receptionists are generally aghast at most things...it’s a built in emotion
Let her be angry. If she is then request a phone call from a doctor or better yet, make an appointment with a doctor to talk it through.

What’s done is done and there’s absolutely no point stressing about it now! Talk to the doctor about the best way to proceed and go from there!
X

You're not an awful Mum, it can all be sorted out easily. You've taken the first step by making an appointment, so mop up those tears. [tea]

You arent awful at all... you have just been understandably worried by your previous experiences... do the responsible thing now and just go in and chat to them about it... perhaps they can help set your mind at rest. Children can have bad reactions to vaccines but its rare. It may be that your son had an underlying illness that no one spotted before hand and the vaccines exacerbated it because his immune system wasnt working as it should at the time. Thats unfortunate but very very unlikely to happen again with another child.
If they cant tell you what was wrong it probably is that he was just a bit ill with something when he had them and not some sort of serious problem or anything that could run in your family etc.... so I think its probably pretty safe for your other child to have their vaccines.

If you were an awful mum you wouldn't be worried!

You’re not awful, don’t let yourself think that way.

You’re understandably nervous and I dare say a bit traumatised. Don’t berate yourself, take strength in the fact you’ve took steps to resolve it.

I’m a terrible procrastinator/ostrich and the reality is never as bad as what I build up in my own head. I know that but I still do it.

Gear yourself up and keep telling yourself that by 2pm or whatever you’ll have spoken with the GP and you’ll do whatever you need to do next.

I wonder if it’s possible to have them as a day case at a hospital and hang about for a few hours after to reassure you? I’ve heard that they do this sometimes with allergies and unavoidable medications.

You aren't awful. The receptionist probably wasn't aghast. You are just worried and blaming yourself. You are perfectly reasonable to be worried about immunisations giventhe unexplained adverse reaction.

Of course you are not an awful mum OP! You are understandably worried, this is the reason you book an appointment with the GP to talk it through. Nothing bad had happened because of it and you can sort it out now. It is completely normal to be scared in this situation that the same might happen to DC2 and that is why a chat with the GP is exactly what you need. You can talk through the risks, potentially ways you can minimise these. Don't worry OP, I think the reception probably sounds aghast whatever you say

You're a good mum, you've done the right thing by calling to have a chat with them. I am a scientist by training, work in a medical field and am very pro vaccine and still got the wobbles with dd2 after dd1 had a bad reaction.
The science is strongly in favour of vaccination, but it's hard to think about it when your initial instinct generally tells you to get your baby away from the person holding a sharp object! For what it's worth, dd2 had no reaction at all to most of the vaccines - literally barely even a small lump, despite her big sister being hospitalised - and dd1 is completely fine too.
Ignore shocked receptionists, I always assume that surgeries specifically hire them evil so the doctors get to be good cop. The GP has seen this before and will take the time to discuss, as your child's safety is worth it - and if they don't, ask to speak to another gp who will. If your eldest is also behind (or you are worried about future vaccinations for her) they can also discuss this.
To help you get the strength - here is another little girl with whooping cough (not a desperately traumatic one unlike some stories, but the cough alone helped to keep me focused
You are worried because you care, and you will be fine.

You’re not an awful mum! You’re worried after a previous bad experience

Take them up on the offer to speak to the GP, see if they can put measures in place to reduce the likelihood of a reaction and minimise the impact if there is one. If the GP feels it’s too risky to vaccinate your DC2 they won’t do it and your child will be one of those who mass immunisation is designed to protect through herd immunity.

You're not awful, and 6 months isn't even really that late in the grand scheme of things!

You are not awful. I didn't get mine immunised until they were 10+months.

Speak to your GP about it. Tell them why you are anxious and reluctant.
I think it is hard decision to make.

You are not a bad mum and if you do want her to be immunised, its really easy to get back on the schedule.
My son had none till 6 months either as he was in hospital from birth till that age. They spread them out as they do with the small babies and they soon catch up to the schedule.

six months isnt that late especially as the advise you to cancel if your baby isnt well etc .

You have not done anything terrible and you are not an awful mum. You are a worried mum with a perfectly valid reason for being so. Never mind the receptionist, she doesn't matter. Go in and discuss your concerns with the Gp and take it from there. It's absolutely ok to be worried and they'll understand.

No you're not awful, you're scared. The receptionist really shouldn't be judging you. Is there anybody who can support you with the immunisations? Be honest with the nurse, set up a new immunisation schedule and recruit the help of a friend or family member to support you through it. Good luck.

You’re not awful at all and I can understand your concern. Perhaps have a look at the illnesses that they are being vaccinated against, and compare them to what your first dc went through. It’s highly unlikely that your second child will react in the same way, but even if they did, perhaps the illnesses that they could catch if they aren’t vaccinated might put it into perspective?

I wouldn’t let my second have vaccinations if the first reacted badly, tbh

i was late witn my sons injections (though it was the preschool one) i was about 6 months late aswell as i just had a new baby. they can be abit moany about it (the nurse was with me) but i wouldnt worry. you wont be the only one

You have my sympathy too. I would hope that either the nurse can come up with a plan that works for you, or that you can discuss with a GP in more detail what happened with your eldest and how best to vaccinate your little one. In some circumstances it is appropriate for children to be vaccinated in hospital under paediatric supervision.

I reacted really badly to one of my immunisations in infancy; subsequently although my sister was immunised, they were spread out very carefully not according to the relevant schedule in place at the time.

Hope you can be reassured and that things go smoothly for you. Well done for re-engaging.

You aren’t an awful mum. My eldest daughter reacted badly to her vaccinations and I was advised to not give them to our second based on it.

Your not awful. And for what it's worth I know of paediatricians who have decided against immunisation. Mine are immunised by the way.