I've done something terrible

[badmum01]

I just need to get it out there as I'm in tears.

DC2 is 6months old and I haven't taken them for any of their immunisations.

The letters kept coming through and I've kept burying my head in the sand.
After DC1 had his last injections we ended up at the hospital and even though he's fine now and all the symptoms went away on their own in the end no one managed to find out why he reacted like that to them and I'm terrified it will happen to DC2.

I've received a letter today saying I can discuss lack of immunisations with my GP if I wish, I plucked up the courage and called them and the receptionist sounded aghast when I've told her DC2 has not had anything at all.
She's made an appointment for a nurse to call me tomorrow to discuss.

I'm an awful mum aren't I and now I'm worried about what the nurse will say and feel like she'll be angry.

You’re not awful at all! I admit (dangerous on here ) that I’m a GP receptionist. I hope I’m a nice one. I make a point of never sounding aghast at anything, anything ever, and I wouldn’t be thinking it either.

Have your appointment to discuss and do what you feel is right for your family. I’m also a mum. Mine needed their injections right when everything was going on years ago about all sorts of differing opinions regarding vaccinations. It was always in the news. I was also very scared and torn about it all.

You are a lovely mum who just cares and wants the best and safest choice and understandably so after dc1s reaction. X

You're not awful, and your DC will be fine getting the jabs late.

You just had a traumatic experience that has made you nervous.

Have you talked to your HV at all about this? Hopefully the nurse will be able to set your mind at rest.

(Is there any other stuff you've been avoiding or just the vaccinations? Bills? Cleaning? Any self care you have let slide?)

My DC1 had a terrible reaction to MMR and ended up in hospital. The (known) side effects lasted over 10 years (though he is fine now and stoped in his teens). DC2 didn’t have the MMR until his teens - so I guess I’m a really bad mother!

Like others on here I am very, VERY pro vaccination.
I still don't think you are awful.
Don't be so horrible to yourself.

I do hope you feel able to sort your DC's vaccinations out asap.

I work in child health and this isn’t an uncommon thing. Lots of parents do not have their babies immunisations due to concerns. Speak to you GP/nurse get advise and if you decide to go ahead there are quite wide time frames for early immunisations and even if out of them there are options you can take which a nurse/go will discuss with you.
But don’t feel bad honestly you are not the only person to feel like this and put their babies Imm’s off.

You’re not at all awful. And please don’t worry about what the nurse might say, they’ll likely be thrilled that you have re-engaged.

I missed quite a few vaccinations as a child and have just had a catch up course aged 36! I’m sure most people wouldn’t bother at my age and the nurse was initially somewhat surprised when she found out why I was there. But she made a point of telling me that it’s never too late and praised me for coming in for them.

Stop wasting time and saying I'm an awful mum! Collect facts and data around your concerns. Vaccinations are science. You are using emotion. You need to stop that and just start fact gathering to make informed decisions about your children's health. These things boil down to mathematical probabilities based upon the facts available to us at any given point in time. Is my child more likely to have a complication through MMR or mor likely to catch and have lasting effects resulting from those diseases?
Stick with your appointment with the nurse and collect information. Stop wringing your hands and potentially allow your children to become poorly through your ignorance.
I have a teenage daughter who leaves home next year and am in the process right now of ensuring that she is fully protected.

My ds had his aged ten. No one batted an eye at my surgery. Don't worry, it's fine

Well done for ringing op. Its easy to be logical from this side of the computer, I know I'd be like you if I was in your situation. X

I'm an RN and a mum. You are not a bad mum. When they know about your DC1's prior experience they will understand your concern. Keep in mind that DC1's illness was ideopathic and was never tied to the vaccination.

The nurse should only be concerned about how you move forward from here, not what didn't happen previously.

You’re not an awful mother but please have your DC vaccinated.

Of course you were scared. Stop beating yourself up immediately. If you want to have your DC vaccinated, make the appointment. If you are struggling, speak to your GP about an appointment to discuss your concerns about the vaccines. You have acted out of fear and concern for your child - those things don't make you a bad mum.

It's not ignorance, surely, Tinkobell - the OP had her DC1 vaccinated after all.

She had a shock and possibly things got her down as a result - avoiding notifications can signal stress, or being paralysed with anxiety, both of which can happen after a shock.

Some people ignore bills or let their homes turn into tips after a shock, a bereavement, etc. It doesn't indicate they are lazy.

Do you have a good relationship with your health visitor? Does she have clinics?

Don’t feel bad or guilty, there is a world of difference between the tinfoil-hat-anti-vaxxer brigade and you. Well done for getting it sorted, that took guts .

The experience with DC1 sounds deeply traumatic and enough to put the willies up anyone. I guess I just feel the diseases themselves are so awful. My DD1 hates the jabs but today funnily enough we talked about Men W vaccine "I'm getting that!" she said as she'd heard about such horrid loss of limbs, disfigurement from that disease.
Procrastination on this for too long can come at a big price.

your not awful at all.fear can stop us doing huge things and fear can also stop is doing small things.it smothers everything to make it unworkable.so you've got to tyr and keep calm around this.try and keep your rational head on.
I know what happened before was terrible.but your both here toay yes.your little one is happy now and is immunised.so all is actually ok. so worst comes to worse you can cope.
but its likely also nothing will.
and the good outweighs the bad remember that its better to be safe.if you leave it through fear imagine how youd feel if your little one got something.and use that as a motivator.
do you have anyone to go with.or someone on standy if you need support before or after.
let the nurse know you a really scared mum and ask how you can be supported.
down cower down.your a strong wonderful mum so go be one be strong.you can do it.
plan something before or after to do.get a movie or a nice meal or takaway planned so that afterwards you can chill right now.itl be ok.

Well, some parents do decide not to opt for the MMR. It doesn’t make them mentally ill.

No decent parent dismiss the possible risks of a vaccinations, and every single parent had to think very carefully and balance the risk of vaccinations and the risks of not having them. It starts before they are born and you lose sleep over getting the whooping cough and flu jab or not!

Speak with someone, do your research, and balance the risks. You cannot be a bad mum when you are desperately trying to decide what is best for your children! It is the hardest thing about being a parent.

@justignorethecat.....of course they're not mentally ill. But here's the fact, universities are now struggling with MMR outbreaks because of the low take-up of boosters. So it becomes a broader public health issue. The govt last month introduced extra data protection for children 13 upwards, meaning that the child must give their own parent consent (in writing - so it's another form to fill in!) to access medical records including vaccination history......bonkers! Yet another bloody hurdle which will probably reduce uptake and compromise public health and add to the NHS burden folks.

Mine won’t have MMR.

We’re all different.

Anyone know if separate MMR vaccines are still available from a private doctor if you pay? Maybe that's still an option....got to be better than not vaccinating at all!

You are not awful so not beat yourself up! It's hard when you've had a bad experience you fully expect to go through it again! It's not so bad anyway, 6 months is not too far past what they should be. My dd last year had all of hers late because she was poorly and then the vaccine nurse was off sick for ages! She was fine. Talk to your doc about it all I'm sure they can set your mind at ease.

I'm very much in favour of vaccinations and you are not in any way, shape or size a bad mum. It's understandable. Talk to your doctor or HV and then make up your mind. Good luck

You haven't done anything awful. DS2 reacted so badly to his first lot that he didn't have his second injections until he was seven. DS1 was also accidentally given both sets of injections within two weeks of each other due to GP error and the surgery went into panic when they found out.

You can sort it out now. Not too late.