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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to stalk this woman?

62 replies

Serendipite · 21/06/2018 00:46

My guy bestfriend is asking me to stalk a woman he's interested in. I told him why not talk to her and ask her out.

I think he got pissed but isn't stalking too immature?

We're in our late 30s.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 21/06/2018 00:49

Stalking is a criminal offence.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 21/06/2018 00:52

Seriously?
Does he not know how creepy he sounds?
If he wants to get to know her, he needs to talk to her.
If she doesn't want to know, he needs to accept and leave her the fuck alone.
Asking you to "stalk" her is just weird, it implies he is either utterly naive and childish or isn't prepared to take "no" for an answer. Either way, Big Fat Red Flag.
If he is your friend, have a word before he makes a complete arse of himself!

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 00:59

By stalk he means google, find things on the Internet about her. Not stalk like follow her around.

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 21/06/2018 00:59

Stalk? Is he mad?

Does he mean chat to her? Do you actually speak to her?

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 00:59

Well I told him I'm not really up to it. I mean, it sounds so childish and immature.

OP posts:
FarFlungFairy · 21/06/2018 01:01

Why can’t he google her himself? Tell him to fuck off.

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 01:02

No, he means internet stalk. Like google, find out what I can about her. Like when you're a teenager and you want to find out what your crush is up to, that kind of thing.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 21/06/2018 01:03

Why can't he do that, why is he asking you?

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 21/06/2018 01:03

Tell him to grow the fuck up!

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/06/2018 01:04

Well I've seen posters recommend doing that on the OLD threads (don't call it 'stalking' though!!) but he should do it himself, why do you need to?!

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 01:06

I don't know why he wants me to do it. He said he's tried googling. I guess he's thinking I might find more than he found.

OP posts:
Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 01:07

Ok, not stalking creepy-stalk-follow-her-around, but like find out about her on the Internet.

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 21/06/2018 01:08

How does he know her?

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 01:10

How does he know her?

I don't know actually. He's living in another country and he said there's someone from his country and he's interested in her and could I "stalk" her on the Internet (I also live in a diff country). I told him just talk to her and ask her out.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 21/06/2018 01:10

I'd tell him to do one. What a spineless dick is he? Ewwww Hmm

AssassinatedBeauty · 21/06/2018 01:13

I don't really know what he'd hope to find out or what he'd do with anything he did find out. If he thinks he likes her he'd be better off trying to actually get to know her a little bit, in real life!

2blueshoes · 21/06/2018 01:19

It is a terrible idea and a crime. Do not do it, I'd be thinking about what sort of a friend he actually is. Creepy!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/06/2018 01:30

A bit of fact finding is ok. I would always urge people to check that their new love is all they claim to be, such as single, solvent, not a criminal.....

Is he generally shy? Does he think that this might give him something to talk to her about? That would be understandable.

Original poster
Serendipite · 21/06/2018 01:35

He's shy yes but why can't he do fact finding by himself.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 21/06/2018 01:37

Who knows?!

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2018 01:38

I just LOVE that he's trying to get a woman to do his dirty work for him.

Tell him to grow up. And stop being weird and creepy.

tripYouOut · 21/06/2018 02:01

I wondeer why he is strange and creepy but when women post asking about OLD they're told to find out information about the date if they can in case of 'red flags'.

Hmm...

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2018 02:18

Because men kill women and women don't kill men. You know, for a start.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/06/2018 02:21

Because men kill women and women don't kill men

I assume that must be a joke........

Graphista · 21/06/2018 02:28

I suspect he's asked YOU to do it because she's blocked him cos he's a fucking creep!

Tell him to get a therapist and leave her alone!

Certainly men killing women FAR outnumbers women killing men!