To resent this birthday present system

[callmemaybe8]

Please tell me if I'm being stingy or if I have a point!

I've recently started a new job and been told everyone puts money in to buy a really nice present for people when it's their birthday. That's nice I thought. I was then told there are four birthdays coming up and everyone contributes £5 each for everyone's birthday... so that's £20.

There are about 40 people in the team so that's a lot of money each year £200 to be exact!

Everyone takes part so I would look terrible if I didn't do it, but I can't help but feel a bit meh about the whole thing. My birthday isn't until February so there's a chance I won't even be there/ won't have passed my probation by the time my birthday comes.

AIBU to resent this? I'll probably still chip in, but I don't like how the company just expects it and there isn't much choice in the matter.

I think it's a bit OTT in the fact that usually a signed-by-everyone-card and flowers usually surfices, but £5 is not a massive amount...it's just unfortunate that there are four at once!

It is a lot of money though because there's 40 in the team so you'll be paying out £200 in present money per year

Who needs £400 of gifts? Or is it vouchers? Or are you stuck with £400 of gifts you hate?
Would have thought £1-2 each gives you £40-80 enough for booze chocolates and something personal. Plenty!

£200!

I wouldn't be happy with that. I much prefer collections for '0' birthdays, weddings, births and leaving at however much the giver wants to put in. A card for everyone else is fine.

Tbh I'd be tempted to bow out now citing finances and no desire for anything on my birthday. But then I'm a grumpy so and so who doesn't really do birthdays.

I would probably take in a few cheap cakes/sweets on my birthday though to show no ill-will.

It’s a lovely idea but yes it does end up being a lot. I work for a super lovey dovey ‘we’re all best mates’ company (and it’s actually true for the most part, company events are amazing) and we don’t even do this.

We've recently had 10 staff leave my place of work, 5 of them are leaving this week. We've got 18 jobs going so they'll be even more people around soon and then they'll probably leave. I don't give money for anything; birthdays/retirement/new job/new house blah. It's all a bit daft to me. If I had a really good friend at work I'd buy them a card but I can't afford to chip in money. I'm sure there's other people who feel the same as you.

Just opt out

I actually think its a good idea. We have individual collections for leaving presents/new babies/weddings etc and it can cost much more than £20 per year. Plus, it means everything is equal. There was a woman at my place who left and she was horrible to me. Id done nothing to her but she hated me and regularly bad mouthed me to everyone who would listen. When her collection came around, I didnt want to contribute, neither did another woman she bullied. That didnt go down well with leadership who thought we should honor her service, not the mean spirited person she had become. A system likes yours would completely avoid these kinds of politics.

Eurgh. Yanbu.
I would resent that a bit too, but it is hard going against the system as the newbie!
It's a nice idea, but the money expected is too much. (£1 each would get something nice but not ott).

So everyone receives a £200 gift and pays out £200 each year?
Seems unlikely that everyone will actually get the kind of present they'd choose for themselves for £200!
Plus, what a load of bloody hassle for whoever organises the damn thing. And a who!e load of drama if someone accidentally gets forgotten (I imagine they would care more with those sums are involved).
Crazy.

If it was me (cowardly) i would maybe go along with it initially, but see if everyone really contributes towards every present. Also depends on it you want to stay long term or not....

Lokibear it's £200 per year not £20!

I agree with you that chipping in £20 a year would be fine.

Just don't. But obviously don't expect anything for your birthday. We send an envelope round and put in what we feel (big birthdays, leaving, bereavement, mat leave). It probably means that if you go on mat leave the same month as 3 others you might get less, and people put in more for their mates, but at least we haven't got someone else spending our money for us.

In my old job we had a woman start and within 3 months had a nought birthday (present), got married (vouchers) and then left (leaving present) after 3 months and she wasn't there long enough to put into anyone else's! After that we stopped it.
None of that sillyness at my job now, we don't even do Christmas cards.

I think £5 as a contribution is fine - but amongst a closer group of colleagues, not 40 !!

I think it is OTT, and would often struggle to afford it.

I might try pleading poverty, but otherwise I would not be sure what else I could do without them considering me an old stick in the mud.

Ha ha I was at my new job a week when asked for £5 for a birthday. But everyone puts in and everyone gets a lovely present, I just got mine and it couldnt be better .

Fortunately there are not 40 of us though.
Basically you are buying yourself a nice present, just paying it up over the year

We have a birthday club but it’s voluntary. I think we put a couple of quid in each but I like it. Someone tells us what we owe every month and it’s done.

Wow! YANBU at all.
I would opt out.
Our Team (about 12 of us) had a good system of everyone putting in £10, and that fund was used if someone had an op / was on long term sick / was bereaved / type thing for flowers, and you get a birthday card each. Only topped up when it ran out which could be longer than a year or after a few months, depending. If people had a big birthday (with a '0') then we'd often do something anyway - meal as a tam if they weren't having a bigger party and inviting people - and we'd have a whip round for that.
Team then got merged into a much bigger team, about 50 people, and it became ridiculous - every time we had a team meeting, there were several cards going round to be signed, you never really knew who they were for, and it meant nothing then when you received them. I suggested we just stop the birthday cards, and that was just cards.
There's no way in the world I'd want a £200 birthday present when it was my turn, and there is no way in the world I would be putting in £200 a year for presents for colleagues I wasn't even close to.

With 40 of you, there are always going to be 4 birthdays coming up. I think for good relations you’re going to have to cough up unfortunately. Personally I would have thought £1/2 would have been better. That’s still £40/80. How on earth does someone choose a £200 present?

This is insane. Why would you get a £200 present from work?
I often get less than £200 from my dh for my birthday!
What kind of presents do they buy?

YANBU
I would decline to join in.

Imagine if you put in £200 and didn’t get anything out because you were leaving. You would feel very salty.

What happens with weddings, babies and funerals?

Are they having a laugh!? What on earth do they decide to buy each birthday boy or girl with £200! I don't spend that much on my other half's birthday! A pace I worked for told me they do secret Santa and everyone chips in.....and everyone puts down on a sheet exactly what they want to be bought! Sod that I thought, if you're dictating exactly what the prezzy has to be then each person was just paying for someone else to do their shopping! I just made a joke of it, laughed and changed the subject.....then other people started telling me that they didn't really want to do it but felt pressured into it. Just say no thanks and smile sweetly, dont offer any explanation, you are under no obligation to follow the crowd who half of which probably wish they'd had the guts to say no themselves. Rebel! See if anyone follows your lead!

£5 is nothing. It's just unfortunate its 4 together but it's still only 20 quid. I'd feel uncomfortable saying no to £20 tbh

I bet the gift is often a spa day.

Yeh the dreaded spa day. About as exciting as a trip to the dentist.