To resent this birthday present system

[callmemaybe8]

Please tell me if I'm being stingy or if I have a point!

I've recently started a new job and been told everyone puts money in to buy a really nice present for people when it's their birthday. That's nice I thought. I was then told there are four birthdays coming up and everyone contributes £5 each for everyone's birthday... so that's £20.


There are about 40 people in the team so that's a lot of money each year £200 to be exact!

Everyone takes part so I would look terrible if I didn't do it, but I can't help but feel a bit meh about the whole thing. My birthday isn't until February so there's a chance I won't even be there/ won't have passed my probation by the time my birthday comes.

AIBU to resent this? I'll probably still chip in, but I don't like how the company just expects it and there isn't much choice in the matter.

[NSEA]

Everyone gets £200 spent on them by work colleagues!? That’s more than i get at home!

[Teenagerwoes]

I think that’s too much.
As pp said big birthdays a collection is fair enough but even then not dictating how much.

If you can I’d suggest a new system, If not opt out.

Our system is secret Santa gets picked at Christmas and that’s your person for the year and limit is about £10. It’s pretty simple and effective, I wouldn’t be paying out £200 a year that’s for sure!

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

It’d be more palatable if you got cash amount on birthday,but spa day.Christ that’s rotten

[daisypond]

It's unreasonable and I would resent it. I also think it's inappropriate at work to be corralled into this. Mind you, I've never worked anywhere where birthday contributions were required or even suggested. The collection envelope/card goes round (entirely voluntary and no pressure) only for people who are leaving and for those having their first baby, in the main. And if someone was seriously ill as well.

[Maryann1975]

I’m self employed so this would never come up, but if dh came home and said he had to give £15-£20 a month for other peoples birthday presents I wouldn’t be happy. That would be a lot to us and is more than we spend on our parents when it is their birthday (normally between £10-15 per parent).
I think if you mention it’s a lot other people will speak up, but I know it will be hard to be the first one to point out that it’s a lot of money to be parting with each month. Be brave and I’m sure you won’t be alone, maybe speak to a couple of friendly colleagues and sound them out first.

[sonjadog]

I knew it would be a spa day. That would piss me off most of all. Ending up with a voucher for a spa day when it was my turn...

[Wishmeluck2018]

Terrible, I wouldn't like it at all. I would opt out 100%. It's a bit like paying £200 a year for someone to get a surprise for you. I prefer to spend my £200 on something I will make use of or like. I hate to announce my birthday on top of it.

[MiddleMoffat]

Would you get a nice big leaving present though?

[MeMyShelfandIkea]

I joined my last company literally a few days after my birthday. Contributed to colleagues' collections for a full year then when my birthday came round...nothing. The usual person who organised the collections was on holiday and no one else thought to pick up the slack. This was also after a Secret Santa at the same workplace where I got a tight arse buying mine and received a £2 box of chocs (unwrapped) from the WH Smiths downstairs for a £10 budget. I now refuse to join in anything else like that again.

[SquishySquirmy]

I bet there are others who would like to see it stopped but I suppose it is sort of hard to suddenly end something like that... some people will get the raw end of the deal and would rightly feel very resentful.
Imagine if you had been paying into it for a year, and shortly before your birthday came around the ridiculous system ended.

[Stormy76]

It's £2-3 in my place which is enough because there are loads of us .....we have had 2-3 leave each month sincerely the beginning of the year but I don't mind a couple of quid each

[bimbobaggins]

It sounds like a menage system!
I’d just say you don’t want to opt in.

[TheKitchenWitch]

Apart from the fact that it's a ridiculous idea (the person with the birthday BRINGS IN CAKE, you don't all buy them a present!), how could they possibly know what you'd like for 200 pounds? That's a huge amount of money to spend on a present!

[blondeemily]

I don't think you're stingy OP, I wouldn't be happy with that either. I understand you feel you will look bad opting out, but as a PP said, just bring in a some cakes or something on your birthday. I'm sure there must be other members of the team who feel the same really!

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

I worked in a place were a lassie ran off with the ménage money,her ma was mortified
It was a big drama

[BackforGood]

The thing is, as it is prescriptive, rather than a voluntary envelope, then it is easy to be clear that you don't want to join the scheme, and obviously that you don't want nor expect anything on your birthday.
Easier to opt out of, in a way, than the sort of haphazard, secret donation thing where you'd have to make a thing of it each time it went round, and then specifically go up to the 'gift buyer' a couple of weeks before your birthday and tell them you've not put in to any other collection so don't want anything for your birthday.

I bet once you've said, a lot of other people will join you.

[TooManyPaws]

Blimey. I work in a small team of seven and we only do cake and a card, plus desk balloons if they're in that day. A present for a 0 birthday.

[maymai]

I would say you're not in a position to contribute up to £200 per year and you fully understand because of that you won't receive a gift and would rather not opt in at the moment, especially as you're on a probationary period.

[AllMYSmellySocks]

YANBU. If everyone chipped in £1 they could still get a lovely voucher, card and bunch of flowers. I hope they spend the £400 on vouchers - it would be crazy to try to choose something so expensive for a work colleague you might not even know that well.

[Teeniemiff]

We used to make a contribution to birthday collections & it was quite varied. Depending on time of month & who was there sometimes we’d scrape together £7/£8 & others months it would be more like £30/40.
We now have a rotation, so whoever’s birthday it was last boys the next one. And we pay £10. So each year I only ever have to pay £10 for the person whose birthday is after mine. Could be an idea

[User467]

We used to have collections for everything and I got sick of it so refused one day. Was amazing how many other people refused once I had. £5 each should only be for big birthdays and weddings etc, not every bday

[fabulous01]

I worked somewhere and they wouldn’t contribute 50 pence so I can see your point

[Mountainsoutofmolehills]

poor you. That's shit. and having worked in all sorts of places I would say this is a nice, but hard practice since so many people work there. If you are willing to not get a gift, then def. dont feel pressured. Explain that you have a charity commitment helping someone who could be homeless soon if she doesn't pay her landlord, and that this money was so she could eat...... However, if opting out is too much social pressure then your call. I wouldn't feel pressured to do it if I had no intention of staying.... if I did then maybe it's worth the present?

[SM2132]

At my old work, I put in for collections all the time. My 30th went by unnoticed. I then had a baby and didn't even get a card! I will be wary of forking out lots of money now for these things. I actually felt a bit hurt. It was a bit like a popularity contest I suppose... still was crap finding out I was unpopular though!

[TarragonChicken]

We do this, but there are 8 in my immediate team! I wouldn't pay that much if more were chipping in!