To think a school can’t stop a parent from seeing their child

[MargoLovebutter]

Or is this a thing now?

My friend seems to think that a school has some jurisdiction or power to prevent a pupil from seeing a parent.

I think this is rubbish and think that if a school has safe guarding concerns about a pupil they have to report it to the local authority or the police but that a school can’t arbitrarily decide what parent sees what child.

Who is right here?

A school will only do this if they’ve received a direct instruction from social services or the police. Most schools, if it’s not the typical person who picks up the child, may request a password that has previously been provided to validate the request.

if they believe that the child is in immediate and grave danger, they can keep the child and call the police and social services for emergency intervention. That's for any child, any parent.

There may be a restraining order on one parent and the school will call the police if the said parent is trying to get in the school or approach the school or playground or get within a specific distance from the school.

Well if the school know the child isn’t allowed to see the parent then the school is following safe guarding policy - what they would be doing, as your title suggests is ‘stopping a parent from seeing their child’. So yes they can. In the OP though you imply that the decision would be down to the school, which is entirely different. The decision would always come from the police or social services who inform the school.

Basically you say two different things & it is unclear what point you are arguing. Possibly why your friend got confused?

Oh and what twofishfingers said! Obviously if there is immediate danger they have a responsibility to protect the child.

a school can’t arbitrarily decide what parent sees what child.

^^ you are correct.

They can keep a child in a place of safety until the police arrive, but they can't remove the child from your care because they feel like it.

School I worked in we did have to keep a child in the building as the father was outside demanding access to them, and there was an order in place to prevent contact - police would then come and remove the parent.

I get that if there is some kind of restraining order in place that the school will honour that and help protect a child from a parent that shouldn’t have contact.

The disagreement was over the school having the power to make that decision by itself. I always thought that the school acted on the instructions of social services, local authorities, police etc and didn’t make the decision by itself.

My DS2's school once refused to hand over a child to a mother who used to regularly turn up at the school drunk... On one particular day they told her under no circumstance would they hand the child over. A different meaning from your original post but defo a safeguarding one until the police arrived

Well it depends on the situation. They can if a safeguarding issue or waiting on police ss etc. They can make the call themselves

A school will only do this if they’ve received a direct instruction from social services or the police

Social services can not override parental responsibility.
The circumstances under which a school will refuse to hand a child over to a parent are

• if there is a court order in place which the school have a copy of
• if they are worried about the child's immediate welfare with the parent, in which case they must call the police to take police protection or not

They cannot refuse based on advice from social services or from the other parent.

Im Scotland school age children's named person is head teacher who would be key in amy safeguarding issues. But cannot "stop" a parent seeing a child unless fear for immediate safety

Are parents not allowed to be drunk around children? Or was she totally out of it?

I picked my sisters up from school and I need a password, if it’s a new member of staff that’s not seen me they don’t hand them over. They check with other staff or ring my mum.

My mum also requested their dad didn’t collect them from school, they honoured that and don’t allow him to.

This can happen a lot when there has been a split between parents,
IME It is mainly the mother that has come in to school explained the situation to the child's teacher, then said the father is now not allowed to pick up.

Schools can't do this without a court order. Both parents are seen as equal

What we do advise is delay tactics only, if the 'banned' parent arrives we will try to contact the other parent ASAP.

School has no legal right to keep the child in this scenario, they will only try their best to delay.

Are parents not allowed to be drunk around children?

It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a child in a public place.

We have to report if an adult turns up smelling of alcohol, or acting as if they are on drugs.Records are kept to spot patterns.

I once had to prevent a mother from collecting her young child - she was so drunk she could barely stand up. Teachers act in loco parentis and can do this if there is a danger to the child. In this case we didn't contact police (though did notify SS afterwards as child already known to them), we phoned the father to come and pick up instead.

Both parents are seen as equal provided dad has parental responsibility.

When my friend was getting divorced her arse of a husband threatened to take the children out of school in the middle of the day and keep them. There was no residency order at that time and he had never been a parent to them in the first place. It was pure spite.

School advised my friend there was nothing they could do to prevent a parent with parental responsibility from collecting a child whenever they wanted. The only way to stop it would be if it was court ordered.

School were aware that the split was acrimonious due to separate parent's evenings, separate letters, and a rather public slanging match in the playground which was humiliating for my friend as it was all one sided. She kept her dignity, he just looked unhinged. School were sympathetic but have to abide by the law.

So it sounds as though unless there is an immediate welfare or safeguarding concern (ie a drunk parent) that the school can’t be the one deciding whether or not a parent may see a child.

how odd, my sons school actively encourages parents to come and spend the day, to come help in classes, to drop in at lunch and eat with out kids and also after school and in the holidays to come use the school play equipment as it helps stop vandals
the only time they would say no is if they receive court documents stating that someone has had their parental rights limited or removed, i would imagine they would then look at trespass notices in those cases

In what context did your friend think this? Is she planning to stop kids seeing their dad or vice versa?

No Username, we were having a chat about a mutual friend who went through a very difficult divorce and she seemed to think that the school had forbidden him from seeing his children. I said this was bollox and the school had no power to do that but she was insistent- hence asking on here!

Ah oh dear, do you think maybe hes been talking rubbish to her and giving excuses as to why he hasnt bothered with his children? The ex is keeping them from me ...aka i cant be arsed?

I don’t know User, just sounds fishy. I think my friend is hoping there might be something there romantically but I think he might be flaky and this ‘school banned me from seeing me’ stuff is bollox.