To think a school can’t stop a parent from seeing their child

[MargoLovebutter]

Or is this a thing now?

My friend seems to think that a school has some jurisdiction or power to prevent a pupil from seeing a parent.

I think this is rubbish and think that if a school has safe guarding concerns about a pupil they have to report it to the local authority or the police but that a school can’t arbitrarily decide what parent sees what child.

Who is right here?

*By his mental health was bad, I mean my ex was suicidal, and his drinking was out of control. When I left instructions to the school, I didn't have specify this, just put that he was suffering mental health issues, and that SS thought he shouldn't be picking him up, until things improved, if they did. (They did thankfully, though it took a while). Something doesn't add up in your friends new guys story.

If a parent arrives by car and is drunk, then the school must stop the children leaving with the parent, because they will be at risk of imminent danger by getting in the car with the parent. They should also call the police because the parent is likely to be over the legal limit for driving after alcohol.

Already been down that route and can’t do any of those things.
I can’t even leave the country without his permission it’s bullshit.

Are parents not allowed to be drunk around children?

The school has a responsibility to safeguard the child. If they think the adult picking the child up is not capable of looking after said child, they can refuse to let them take the child.

I had a medical episode as I was picking up one day. Temporary, but it rendered me unconscious for a few minutes. The school refused to let me leave alone with the children- If I'd have had another episode while solely responsible it would have put the children, and me, at risk- both physical and emotional. I had to phone DH and get him to pick us all up.

With the proviso I’m talking about collecting a kid which I assume is what the op means.

Why would you assume that when it isn't what she says, at all. She says that he claimed that the school banned him from seeing his kids, not that he wasn't allowed to collect them, which is not at all the same thing.

It’s also possible th ops friend means

My kid had a children’s services related cp meeting and the School expressed concerns which I chose to not challenge.

Notumbongo, was it reported to the police? If so I would explain to the school that your ex had police involvement for rape and assault and that DD doesnt know him but if he turns up to ring you straight away and you will collect her.
I can't imagine any school would send a child with someone they don't know especially if they have that information.

Yes but they just gave him a caution so there’s not actually anything I can do because in the eyes of the law he didn’t do anything.

Umbongo, do you realise that you can't take your child out of the country - even for a holiday - without your ex's permission? If he refused you would gave to apply to court to do so - unless you have a Residence Order.

Yes I put that in my other post. I have done, but there is always that risk. It’s so unfair.

Regarding travelling abroad, my daughter went on holiday with my brother with a different surname, I gave him a letter but they didn't even check it so in your situation I'd just go anyway and if they question it just explain she doesn't know her dad and you have no way of contacting him.

I thought the whole permission to go abroad system was a bit useless, even if they had checked the letter or asked to phone me there was no way if them knowing if it was actually me or not.

Harry I’ve been a domestic abuse consultant for many years and before that a social worker.i also have family law experance.

I’ve seen many things with practise that doesn’t tally precisely with legislation the DOE what is a parent guidance is a good one to start with as is the entire section 20 situation
You will see I clearly pointed out it’s not legal and it’s getting harder to get schools to play ball when needed.

And fwiw deadbeats rarely expose people to legal risk they just fuck off having had their disinterest validated with relief

If you accept a caution, you are admitting guilt!

do you realise that you can't take your child out of the country - even for a holiday - without your ex's permission?

of course she can. She can just go, same as everyone does. Its only if he finds out, goes to court, wins and gets and injunction to stop her that she can't go.

I’m not letting him stop me take her in holiday, we’re going on a 4 week holiday in August. Fuck him.
But it’s a shame that my husband, who has been her dad for years, can’t adopt her. Because ex would never give up his PR.

Yes but they just gave him a caution so there’s not actually anything I can do because in the eyes of the law he didn’t do anything.

Such a traumatic experience Notumbongo. I feel so sad for you reading your earlier post.

But if it helps, a caution is an admission of guilt. He will have a criminal record that will show up on the advanced dbs checks. Im pretty sure that anyone cautioned or convicted under sexual offences act, is required to be registered on sex offenders register for a period of time. I wonder if he admitted to/was cautioned for/ a lesser charge instead? The police should have told you what, but it definitely is a police record of bad behaviour he admitted.

He’s in the forces so it had to be dealt with by the military police and it all just kind of went away.

I don’t want to go to court and drag it all back up again. Or for him to then go, actually I do want to see her, and I’ve basically paid for that to happen. If he wants to see her he will have to actually kill me first.

@NotUmbongoUnchained I'm so sorry you went through that.

Sorry for the me-rail

The safeguarding policies in most schools would give circumstances under which the school should phone the police or emergency child helpline.

But SS don't just remove a child, they have to get an emergency court order to do it. Police can do the same.

Oh sorry, didn't see last page and conversation has moved on

"It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a child in a public place"
Didn't know that, thank you

it’s getting harder to get schools to play ball when needed

You shouldn't be asking them to.

I have heard from a police sergeant that the PR for holidays law is only ever applied if there is a reason for it to be. It's not practical or possible to check every parent travelling alone with a child nor would it be possible to ensure you checked everyone with PR - as grandparents, other family members or the local authority may also have PR.
If someone with PR obtains a prohibited steps order then a child can be prevented from leaving the country, provided the border police actually notice. If they do not, there is nothing to stop you taking the child on holiday.