Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To think a school can’t stop a parent from seeing their child

109 replies

MargoLovebutter · 23/05/2018 23:02

Or is this a thing now?

My friend seems to think that a school has some jurisdiction or power to prevent a pupil from seeing a parent.

I think this is rubbish and think that if a school has safe guarding concerns about a pupil they have to report it to the local authority or the police but that a school can’t arbitrarily decide what parent sees what child.

Who is right here?

OP posts:

Usernameunknown2 · 24/05/2018 08:42

It sounds very much like hes probably a wrong 'un. I really hope your ftiend is suckered in by the bullshit, guaranteed this isn't the only he will be saying.

DobbyisFREE · 24/05/2018 08:54

When I was young I didn't have contact with my mother for a significant period of time. One of my teachers took me to into a meeting to discuss how I felt about it and what the school would do.

What they said was that they had been advised that I shouldn't be picked up by my mother however they had no legal power to stop her. They said that they could only stop her if I asked them to, so if she came to get me when I wasn't expecting it to go and tell them and they would deal with it.

I don't know if things have changed now but this was my experience.

MiggeldyHiggins · 24/05/2018 09:05

It's just another waste of space father making to the next poor sap of a woman about why its not his fault he's such a shitty dad.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/05/2018 09:12

It wouldn’t be unheard of for a school to act outside of their remit.

And for what it’s worth the DOE instructs schools to pretty much ignore formal legal PR and asks them to decide that an adult who the child spends time with in their home is sufficient to treat them as having it.

social services can not override PR despite it not being unusual for them to imply they can or on occasions do so but doing so is not legal. The police can only do so if grounds for emergency protection exist.

What is not unusual is delay tactics to allow the other parent to collect the child from a different door but even that is getting harder and harder to get them to assist with.

The only way to make it legal is to have a court order preventing School removal

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/05/2018 09:12

So my ex who hasn’t seen his child since she was 3 months old could just turn up to school and take her because he’s in the birth certificate?!

MiggeldyHiggins · 24/05/2018 09:18

It wouldn’t be unheard of for a school to act outside of their remit

How exactly could the school ban a parent from seeing a child, in general, not just in school (where parents don't see kids anyway)

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 24/05/2018 09:29

Your friend may wish to listen to the words of this man carefully, which may be difficult if she is not a mother herself. Years of OLD have shown me th

ChaseRubbleRocky · 24/05/2018 09:34

@notumbongounchained, no because they wouldn't recognise him so he could be anyone pretending to be the dad. I would assume they'd phone you in that situation.

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:34

My mum also requested their dad didn’t collect them from school, they honoured that and don’t allow him to

They shouldn't have!

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 09:34

Are parents not allowed to be drunk around children? Or was she totally out of it?

I think a parent who arrives at school noticeably drunk (presumably not just had a few glasses of wine over lunch) is probably a welfare issue.

Doyoumind · 24/05/2018 09:35

Were the school perhaps not permitting him to see the children on the premises during the school day? He wouldn't have any right to do that and they could refuse. Those are the only circumstance I can think of where what he said might be true.

It would only be taking them off the premises where they couldn't stop him.

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:35

So my ex who hasn’t seen his child since she was 3 months old could just turn up to school and take her because he’s in the birth certificate?!

Theoretically yes! In reality he would need heavy proof to do so and considering the likely distress your child would be in at the thought of going with a stranger I would expect them to call the police to intervene

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/05/2018 09:36

@chaserubblerocky

Even if he had a copy of the birth certificate?

ChaseRubbleRocky · 24/05/2018 09:37

If he had her some other way and refused to return her police wouldn't get involved though you'd need to do an emergency court order so legally he has the same position as you still which is ridiculous.
But I can't imagine any school would hand a child over to someone they and the child dont know regardless of paperwork.

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 09:38

That is definitely bollox! In the unlikely event the school decided he couldn't pick his kids up (which would be totally outside of their jurisdiction) he would just go to court and get visitation rights. A normal dad wouldn't just shrug and say "oh well that's annoying the school has decided I can't see my kids, never mind"

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:39

He'd need the birth certificate and evidence of his identity. The school wouldn't be able to deny him collecting the child if he could evidence who he was and the child was happy to go with him.
Parental responsibility is a very important legal framework.

WickedLazy · 24/05/2018 09:40

I once had to leave instructions for the school, that ds's dad wasn't to pick him up (lasted until the next term). This was agreed between myself, ex and SS (my ex's social worker, not ds's) as ex's mental health was really bad at the time. Ex was allowed to pick up/see ds when he was supervised by his mum or me. As far as I know, they can't just decide themselves, it has to come from police, ss or the other parent.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/05/2018 09:42

I think it’s appalling that my ex gets all these rights. I think after a certain period of no contact they should have PR removed.

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:43

Social services CANNOT ban a school from handing over a child to their parent. Nor can the police. The other parent certainly cannot. ONLY a court can do that.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/05/2018 09:43

How exactly could the school ban a parent from seeing a child, in general, not just in school (where parents don't see kids anyway)

I shall assume this is a genuine question and not a sarky one. With the proviso I’m talking about collecting a kid which I assume is what the op means.

Pretend the kid is not at school that day or is on a trip.
Pretend they can’t find them
say child was sent home early.

Are all methods I’ve known be used

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:44

You put him on the BC. What did you think that would entail?

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/05/2018 09:45

I put him in the birth certificate before he raped and tried to kill me

Sorry!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/05/2018 09:47

But it’s not legal for them to do so and it’s getting harder and harder to do these days.

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:48

Needs
The school would lay themselves wide open to legal action if they did any of those things. I'm shocked that any school would employ such tactics and if they get sued they would deserve it.
There are legal child protection processes in place. Schools must follow them. They don't have the right to decide which bits of law and policy they choose to follow!

HarryLovesDraco · 24/05/2018 09:49

You can go to court to have him removed. Or you can go to court to apply to change your child's name to make it harder for him to find you.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread