SUITSGATE - To feel sorry for the Royal Wedding Table Planner

[KateMiddletonsOtherMum]

The table plans are written in calligraphy. The whole lot needs to be rewritten every time there is a change to the guest list. Is Mr Markle coming? If so, does he sit next to Camilla? Do they carry on hoping he’ll turn up and set a place at the top table for him? Do they not? If he turns up unexpectedly and they haven’t set him a place, will they pop a fold up chair at the end of the table and squeeze everyone up together in a Do You Think They Noticed kind of way?

The poor Table Plan Team.

Didn't St Meg do professional calligraphy at some point in her illustrious career? Think I read that once.

So is she doing it herself? No wonder she’s stressed.

Aren't they having bowl food and just milling around like people do at a conference?

I have a family for whom bickering and falling out with random relatives is a popular pastime.

I just took the approach with wedding tables to fuck it - stick a buffet on, put too many tables out to allow for spare seats and tell the lot of 'em to sit wherever they felt like it in order to allow for whoever had fallen out with whoever else that week to be as far away from each other but within a suitable glowering distance to figure it out themselves.

Not an option I think Hazza and Meg have really! Perhaps they should consider whiteboards and wipe clean markers to get it set up like a football tactics board type of arrangement... "if dad shows up we move Queenie into the midfield and drop Wills back into defense and stick Phil in goal..."

They are doing bowl food- maybe Meghan knew there could be uncertainty.

I do feel for her.

Right now, it doesn't seem the sort of wedding at which throwable crockery is a good idea.

The names of the bridesmaids and pageboys are wonderful! Florence and Zalie, Charlotte and George, Brian, John, Ivy, Remi, Ryan and Jasper.

What a lovely collection!

This is where we need Prince Philip’s Greek heritage to kick off the plate smashing

It would really help release some tension... maybe they'll have a plate smashing stall in a corner somewhere!

There is NO sit down?? Wtf? Bowl food??

www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/features/bowl-food-royal-wedding-good-news-dry-cleaners-bad-news-everyone/

www.independent.co.uk/royalwedding/royal-wedding-reception-food-meghan-markle-prince-harry-bowl-dishes-latest-a8350771.html

Bowl food! what a crap idea when you have so much money!

I wouldnt mind sitting next to Camilla if the opportunity arose as I believe she is a right piss head.

I could lend MM my dad. Also a retired lighting director. Same first name and second name initial so with calligraphy it might sort of work. As I can never read it anyway.

Bowl food. Brilliant.

I’m off to take out shares in Johnson’s dry cleaners...

We went to a wedding with no sit down 5yrs ago. Family very well off, they hadn’t mentioned it in the invites. It was very confusing. Food was brought out on trays by waiters, and if you missed them, you missed out. Still upset about the tiny truffle fries containers I missed out on. The lamp lollipops were excellent though. They also had a sushi bar. The cakes were surprisingly old fashioned for a modern style wedding (all 3 of them) and I didn’t see a slice of that either!

What is bowl food? Is that posh speak for a buffet?

Actually I remember they had a beautiful table set up for the wedding party. Everyone else shuffled around awkwardly

I’d say it’s little tidbits you can eat standing. How will they manage the drinks? Maybe they’ll have those little plates with the wine holder on the side

Not being a big Daily Mail reader, I had no idea her family were so bonkers until now. This is great - it makes Harry and Megan seem like every other 30-something couple arranging a wedding with blended families on both side to "manage".

Bowl food and no seating plan seems a genius solution to the stress.

Is this more media speculation

I think bowl food is great- heavy on washing up, but allows maximum socialising and you can alternate holding a drink and a bowl!

I could be a convert.

Will Madge and The Greek be there? Both v.v.unsteady on their pins. Praps they'll have bowls and bibs combos and sit on shooting sticks? ahh, bless.

I think it sounds faffy.

Best wedding I went to had about 3 hours of canapés and champagne soup and everyone was stuffed and smashed! The canapés kept coming and they we so so good!

Then we had a sit down meal of roasted lamb, potato dauphinois and ratatouille. It was heaven.