Help! I'm stuck in a jumpsuit

[Gumps]

Literally this. The zip has jammed and I can't get out of it. I'm home alone with the kids and totally stuck. It's at the back too and i've nearly dislocated my arms.
Ive tried vaseline to lubricate but to no avail. Any ideas?

Anyone? I know it's not AIBU but I'm hoping for some traffic

WD40?

Sorry but

Use scissors to cut it off you!

Oh I'm sorry this happened to me recently in House of Fraser, I've PTSD

Reckon your in for the long haul

Sorry ....not much help

I can't cut it it's too pretty!

I had to cut myself out of a sports bra once.

Was having trouble manovering it over my head so decided to step in it and pull it up.

Then couldn't get it off either way...

Can you unpick a seam? Then sew it back up?

Oh OP are you friendly with any neighbour - do you speak to any of them were you'd be alright knocking on? Though it's a bit late

A friend, DM, sis or sil that would drive over?

Cut a hole in the crotch so you can pee and just wear it forever?

Get a child to unzip it?
Get a neighbour ?
Sleep in it?

I really don't know what to suggest

Wake up your eldest child? Or try a coat hanger in the zip pull?

Sorry but 😂😂😂.

✂️

Try soap on the zip. Run it up and down the zip. Try easing the zip back up gently, some of the fabric might be stuck in it, you might be able to pull out out.

Failing that, knock on a neighbours door?

If my neighbour came round with this problem I'd help them, maybe suck up the embarrassment and knock on NDN front door?

Ask one of the kids if they’re not asleep? Or just go to bed, worry about it in the morning!!

Try rubbing a candle on the zip. Unlit, obviously.

Can you hook a coat hanger in the zip and pull it down that way?

Sorry but I am crying laughing here 😂😂😂

My DH says order a deliveroo and get the driver to unzip it. But that is a bit like the opening to a millennial porn movie..:

Would a coathanger help? It might help you reach the zip and wiggle it about a bit till you can manipulate it?

Oh my god, I'm pacing around doing the laughing/crying thing. If it wasn't past 11 I would go to my neighbour. My husband is at a sports dinner so is coming home but I'm worried I would either have wet myself by then or he will be too drunk to help.
Off to try soap...

Sorry for your predicament, OP, but

And best title of the day. You win the internet today.

"nothanksbyenow

Ask one of the kids if they’re not asleep? Or just go to bed, worry about it in the morning!!"
Doesn't everyone wake up desperate for the loo? Conditioning in my case

I got stuck in a coat in TK Maxx. I had to get an assistant to help me. I think you could look to see who has their downstairs lights on.

How old are the D.C.? If they’re over three, I think I’d quickly wake one up and ask them to help unzip mummy

Eek, stealth you make an excellent point- this definitely has to be dealt with now!