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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about neighbours kids?

83 replies

FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 21:47

Hello all.

This has surely been asked before, but here goes:

Husband and I live in a semi detached house with a fairly large garden. Family four doors down (yes, FOUR) have two school age kids who regularly play in their garden . . . loudly.

I’m at work during the day, and at weekends when I hear noise from the kids I ignore it because I know there’s nothing you can really say about kids playing during the day.

However, in the last weeks I’ve been disturbed from inside my home (doors and windows shut) by the kids. I’m sitting in my lounge at 9pm tonight and all I can hear is screaming from the f*ing trampoline and it’s driving me insane.

Added dimension is that I’m 5 months pregnant, so obviously my tolerance is lower than usual but aibu to knock on the door and politely ask that they keep the noise down after, say, 7pm, or am I just being a hormonal grouch?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 26/04/2018 21:59

You're being a hormonal grouch

getdownoffthatrightnow · 26/04/2018 22:00

Hormonal grouch.

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 22:00

Ok, on what basis?

OP posts:
Pascall · 26/04/2018 22:02

In 5 or so years time it will be your child screaming and shouting in your garden disturbing the miserable teens four doors down.

cantstopfuckingeating · 26/04/2018 22:03

Yabu
What do you think they should do?

Mamabear1475 · 26/04/2018 22:03

After 9pm is reasonable. 7pm is not. It's still light out. They are kids.

blueskyinmarch · 26/04/2018 22:03

7pm when the evenings are light and the weather is nice is much too early. If they keep at it much after 9 you can maybe go and ask them to keep it down. I am not sure how you can hear them loudly when you are indoors with windows and doors closed and they are 4 doors away. I think you are being over sensitive to the noise.

getdownoffthatrightnow · 26/04/2018 22:04

Soon, night and day will mean nothing as your world will be turned upside down by your own screamer.

Ivorbig1 · 26/04/2018 22:05

4 doors down doesn’t mean a lot, some houses are very close together.
I’m a few months your baby will be screaming it’s head off.... get used to it.

KakunaRattata · 26/04/2018 22:05

Honestly? You need to suck it up. Kids playing outside is a million times better than them sitting on xboxes playing fortnite. They're getting fresh air, exercise, fun and social interaction, so many kids are lacking this. Yes, they're noisy, I'm very sensitive to noise, even my own children stress me out, but in 4 months time you may have a child keeping the street awake at 3am, then you'll be sorry you said anything. I strongly recommend a decent radio, noise cancelling headphones and 3M little yellow earplugs. These things may save your sanity.

Ivorbig1 · 26/04/2018 22:05

In not I’m

Woshambo · 26/04/2018 22:07

Everyone is different. I hate certain loud outside noises but not others.

Children around our area are loud and sweary and purposely come into our garden and try to get my dogs to chase them!

Kids/pets/mowing etc it's all noise. I'd leave it a while and see if u feel the same way in a few weeks. Maybe mention to their parents in passing in a nice way that u can hear them from ur house.

Personally I just turn my TV/music up and ignore it. It does sound more hormonal though and remember u have one on the way that may be as loud when older lol

getdownoffthatrightnow · 26/04/2018 22:13

YANBU though. Pregnancy does weird stuff. I wanted to kill kill kill my neighbour tuning his motorbike when I was pregnant. I couldn’t NOT hear it.

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 22:23

@cantstopfuckingeating I think the kids are old enough to be told to keep it down.

@kakuna I understand your point and I agree that kids are not active enough, for what it’s worth. I live 2 minutes walk away from a park and a field and I just wish they’d take their noise there!

I think this is a cultural thing. I grew up on the continent and no noise after 7pm was always the rule, as was no noise on Sunday.

I understand what everyone is saying but I really hope when my child arrives I’ll be more sensitive and considerate.

I know I’m old, but why aren’t they in bed?!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 22:25

@getdownoffthat I have very little patience with neighbours under normal circumstances, so I’ve got no hope now! Nice to know it’s not just me, though!

Thanks for the honesty guys.

OP posts:
LashingsOfHamAndGingerBeer · 26/04/2018 22:29

I agree with you... the TV watershed always used to be after 9pm because it was assumed children would be in bed. You can't control their bedtime but I do think that after a reasonable time in the evening, children's noise should not intrude. I have an older but not teenaged child and I would not let him cause noise after 9pm which could disturb neighbours on a regular basis. Occasionally, perhaps, but not every night.

cantstopfuckingeating · 26/04/2018 22:29

Op kids need to be kids... I'm fairly intolerant to most noises. I get very stressed if there is noise from multiple sources but even I can deal with kids playing.
You will probably look back on this and cringe when your kid is making all the noise!
If you believe yanbu then it might be worth gauging opinions from some other neighbours on how acceptable the noise levels are before you go knocking.
When you have small children, your neighbours suddenly become more important, you can get a lot of support from them that no one else can give so best not to piss them off needlessly.

category12 · 26/04/2018 22:44

No, YABU. It wasn't that late, the dc were just having fun. The future you will be glad if you don't complain now.

Duck90 · 26/04/2018 22:46

My neighbour has several children who play in the garden. When they start to scream/screech she tells them to quieten down. It’s a very easy on the ear situation.

I don’t think children should be let to carry on regardless of others. Play can happen without anti-social levels of noise.

nursy1 · 26/04/2018 22:50

Do you know how old they are op? I know about the cultural thing btw. My German relatives are much more considerate of their neighbors.
However, you are in the U.K. i agree with other posters. After 9 pm on a weeknight I would expect there not to be noise and screaming so it would be reasonable to ask them to shut up.
If you live in suburbia noisy kids seem to be par for the course. If you want peace and quiet move to an isolated house in the country. Your child will have nobody to play with though.

Kitsandkids · 26/04/2018 23:02

I agree with you. 9pm is far too late and if kids can't play outside quietly they should definitely be in by 7.

I live in a terraced house and my 10 year old has strict instructions to only use his karaoke machine between 10amand 6pm. If you have close neighbours then you should try to be considerate regarding noise levels. I've told mine before to come in from playing outside because they were being too loud. I definitely wouldn't let them be shrieking and carrying on outside at 9pm!

MumofBoysx2 · 26/04/2018 23:02

If they are school age kids they should be in bed! But that isn't really an argument you can make as it's up to their parents. If it were me I'd get more sound proofing/triple glazing because if it isn't one noise it'll be another.

Ginger1982 · 26/04/2018 23:07

Ooft, you will soon have those kids yourself OP. Suck it up.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 26/04/2018 23:08

YANBU

Having kids is not an excuse to disrupt the entire neighborhood. They can play without screaming. It's just lazy parenting and rudeness to leave your kids run feral.

I have 4, and am surrounded with houses with big families. It's not silent during the day, but we all expect reasonable noise from our kids, and after 7pm everyone is getting quiet - unless there's a very exceptional party as a one-off.

I wouldn't let my kids be noisy at 8pm anymore than I would at 6am, it's just not acceptable. You could ask your neighbour nicely, but if they are anything like some of the posters, you won't go very far. You could start complaining to the council, but it takes forever for anything to be done, and you will have to report any dispute if you sell.

You could ask your other neighbours if they are bothered?

Duck90 · 26/04/2018 23:15

Ginger1989 not all future parents will allow their children to be too loud and disturb everyone in the neighbourhood. Are you one of those families?

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