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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about neighbours kids?

83 replies

FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 21:47

Hello all.

This has surely been asked before, but here goes:

Husband and I live in a semi detached house with a fairly large garden. Family four doors down (yes, FOUR) have two school age kids who regularly play in their garden . . . loudly.

I’m at work during the day, and at weekends when I hear noise from the kids I ignore it because I know there’s nothing you can really say about kids playing during the day.

However, in the last weeks I’ve been disturbed from inside my home (doors and windows shut) by the kids. I’m sitting in my lounge at 9pm tonight and all I can hear is screaming from the f*ing trampoline and it’s driving me insane.

Added dimension is that I’m 5 months pregnant, so obviously my tolerance is lower than usual but aibu to knock on the door and politely ask that they keep the noise down after, say, 7pm, or am I just being a hormonal grouch?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
SomersetMummy1 · 26/04/2018 23:21

Lol wait till it's your kid

I wouldn't personally make enemies over your neighbour.

Let the kids be kids and have fun. In a few years time they'll be sat in doors playing computer games and you won't hear a peep out of them and it'll be your kid tormenting the streets

HeedMove · 26/04/2018 23:24

My kids aren't out till 9pm on the week day but if they were and even when they are our and it's the middle of the day, early evening I still tell them to be quiet if they are screaming or screeching or they are coming in. Laughing they can do as much as they want of. But if I can't stand listening to my own kids scream, I'm sure my neighbours don't need to be subjected to it.

Saying that I wouldn't go ask anyone else to be quiet though as they wouldn't bother me. It's just the worry of my kids annoying others that makes me get them to keep it down.

SleightOfMind · 26/04/2018 23:45

I guess a strangely quiet garden is out of your pay grade OP.
Or you could sell up, move to the country and moan about cockerels, church bells and farmyard smells.

monkeychickenpig · 26/04/2018 23:47

Cheek of the parents are not being unreasonable
Why are they up so late? Little thugs

Anonymous note through door saying you live on the street and all of the neighbours think they are selfish.
They need to be quiet after 7.45
Playing outside is fine but not loud after then and secondly why aren't they in bed if they have school the next day?
I despair at some people's parenting

monkeychickenpig · 26/04/2018 23:48

It's not hormonal to want to be left in peace
My child is not outside screaming at 945
Actually he is in bed
Light or not it's rude to be noisy any time of the day. Ffs

Titsywoo · 26/04/2018 23:50

We've got a screamer a couple of doors down from us. I don't mind noisy kids but the screaming pisses me off. I always told my kids off for screaming/squealing as it's bloody horrible to listen to. Kids have to follow rules - I hate it when parents let them do what they want even if it upsets others.

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 23:59

@sleightofmind do you have some weird class envy about me having a garden? I don’t understand.

I guess you must also be struggling with hormones but at least I have the self-awareness to recognise it.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrauNeuer · 27/04/2018 00:01

@monkeychickenpig I thought about putting a note through the door but I thought that may be a little passive aggressive. It’s something that my mother would definitely do! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FrauNeuer · 27/04/2018 00:05

The eldest kid is 9 (I saw some balloons a few months back) and the other one is maybe 7.

As others have mentioned, it’s not the playing that’s the problem; it’s the screaming.

I really think that I’ll be too aware of causing a nuisance to other people to let my kid cause chaos like that. Maybe I’m wrong...

OP posts:
offupop · 27/04/2018 00:13

Kids are noisy as you'll soon find out.

However much I ask my kids to stop screaming, use their indoor voice etc, 2 mins later they are loud and shreaking. I'm a quiet, noise phobic person, and if you are like me, you may give birth to a noisy kid! The noise is the bain of my life...some of my friends have quiet kids and I'm always looking for tips!!

However 9pm is a bit late. If this is a one off and it's usually 7/8pm YABU, and you have to just suck it up.

I was a horrendous normal arse when pregnant, so you have my every sympathies.

gillybeanz · 27/04/2018 00:14

I wouldn't say anything, because if you can hear kids playing four doors away, think how loud your crying baby will be to them.
Nobody likes a crying/screaming baby, not even the parents.

Fatted · 27/04/2018 00:16

I live in a terrace and before I had my own kids, the kids next door used to drive me crazy. Really noisy, shouting all the time, balls constantly coming in our garden, and them climbing over our fence into our garden to get them. I never really complained, because my neighbours are the sort who would just say it's kids being kids. We did have a chat with them once about keeping their kids safe after their youngest hurt himself climbing into our garden.

Well, now I have my own kids. Honestly, I cannot hear the neighbours kids over my own! Although we have strict no footballs or climbing over the fence!

NoMudNoLotus · 27/04/2018 00:22

You want a 9year old during light evenings to be in bed at 7pm ???

My 9 year is out at 7pm playing with friends , getting exercise and fresh air .

IWantMyHatBack · 27/04/2018 00:22

Oh my god, this thread..

If your children are so fucking noisy that they're bothering neighbours 4 doors down, then they need to be quieter! (and my frame of reference is a row of 4 metre wide terraces).
Middle of the weekend? Absolutely. 9pm on a school night? Oh do fuck off, of course that's just dick behaviour.

'it's still light out' so? Does noise travel less well in daylight?

Raucous screaming children at 9pm when living close to neighbours isn't ok

monkeychickenpig · 27/04/2018 00:26

A baby won't cry that loud stop suggesting this whole own medicine bullshit
It's lousy parenting to have a child screeching at 945 outside

monkeychickenpig · 27/04/2018 00:27

Ask your mum to do it
The family sound disgusting
To the pp who said some bullshit about fresh air
Yes that can be obtained quietly and secondly it is still too late at 945
Ffs

starsandstuff · 27/04/2018 00:29

Oh god I feel your pain op. I swear I was this close to posting this exact thread (minus the being pregnant part). I live in a terrace and there is a family who lets their kids play in the alley that runs behind the houses. They SCREAM constantly and it does my fucking pan in. They're only playing, not fighting, but every word, play instruction, everything is at THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES and the smallest girl SQUEALS this ear-shattering squeal that drives me insane. There's a beautiful park across the bloody road but instead of taking them their parents just let them run up and down behind everyone else's houses and kick footballs and oh did I mention the SCREAMING? I have been torn between telling myself to stop being a grouchy old lady who tells kids to be quiet while they're having fun for fucks sake, and wanting to actually ring the childcatcher knock on the parents door and tell them off. I'll probably just continue to swear quietly to myself. Just wanted to let you know I'm on your side!

monkeychickenpig · 27/04/2018 00:29

@SleightOfMind

What on earth is your problem?

Why should the op have children screaming at almost 10pm

Sounds like the selfish neighbours should be living in the back arse of nowhere if their children are so rude

monkeychickenpig · 27/04/2018 00:29

Why is someone else's comfort so important that the op should suffer?
My child doesn't keep people 4 houses away awake what the fuck

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 27/04/2018 00:41

@nomidnolotus I didn’t say they should be in bed at 7pm. That’s got nothing to do with me. I suggested that by 7pm the noise should reduce.

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 27/04/2018 00:42

"
I wouldn't say anything, because if you can hear kids playing four doors away, think how loud your crying baby will be to them.
Nobody likes a crying/screaming baby, not even the parents."

Haha

My neighbours had a baby 8 months ago. The only time I hear any crying is when we've both got windows open, or if we're all outside.

Shrieking children need to be told to be quiet, especially when they have close neighbours.

I have noisy children. I don't let them act in a way that pisses off our neighbours

InionEile · 27/04/2018 00:47

My children (3 and 6) are loud unholy terrors when they're out in the backyard so I am very conscious of not letting them play out in the back garden before 10am or after 6pm.

I wish my neighbours were so considerate - young guys next door have parties at least once or twice a month where we hear noise until 2-3am. We have talked to them about it and it improved but you can tell they just don't care that much to really change their behavior.

Noisy neighbours is just an annoying fact of life, I'm afraid. I know laws in Germany are much stricter with regard to loud noise on weekends / evenings but it's not like that in the UK. And even if it were, I suspect your neighbours wouldn't give two hoots. We have a noise ordinance in our city that bans loud disturbances after 11pm but fat chance of getting anyone to enforce that!

Your best bet would be to go and talk to your neighbours and ask them if they could try to keep the noise down in the evenings but I would guess they won't do anything so you'll be wasting your time. I'm hoping for your sake that they don't keep that up when you have your baby. Nothing worse than trying to get a baby to sleep and there is noise outside...

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 27/04/2018 00:50

@offupop oh god, that’s one of my fears! Confused

@gillybeanz I really don’t think there’s a comparison. My living room backs onto the garden, so unless I leave my baby to cry relentlessly with a megaphone attached to him outside the patio door, I can’t see how I’ll disturb my neighbours to the same extent.

For what it’s worth I’m even placing the nursery furniture specifically in an attempt to minimise the disturbance to next door!

@monkeychickenpig and @starsandstuff thanks, comrades! Wink I was starting to feel like i was going crazy.

OP posts:
suzy2b · 27/04/2018 00:53

I have a trampoline outside of my living room window in a open front garden with sometimes 6 or 7 teenagers and i can hear nothing in my front room

oncemoreunto · 27/04/2018 00:57

Screaming isn't great but I don't think 9pm is too late for a 9/10 year old to be up if it is hot and light. Kids need more time outside not less, playing, laughing is fine you are going to get noise, continued screaming not so much. I wouldn't say anything though, babies can make a great deal of noise.