Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about neighbours kids?

83 replies

FrauNeuer · 26/04/2018 21:47

Hello all.

This has surely been asked before, but here goes:

Husband and I live in a semi detached house with a fairly large garden. Family four doors down (yes, FOUR) have two school age kids who regularly play in their garden . . . loudly.

I’m at work during the day, and at weekends when I hear noise from the kids I ignore it because I know there’s nothing you can really say about kids playing during the day.

However, in the last weeks I’ve been disturbed from inside my home (doors and windows shut) by the kids. I’m sitting in my lounge at 9pm tonight and all I can hear is screaming from the f*ing trampoline and it’s driving me insane.

Added dimension is that I’m 5 months pregnant, so obviously my tolerance is lower than usual but aibu to knock on the door and politely ask that they keep the noise down after, say, 7pm, or am I just being a hormonal grouch?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Genderwitched · 27/04/2018 01:04

We live in a terrace and children shrieking outside at 9 o'clock is very unneighbourly and unsociable. For one thing, there are lots of little ones that go to bed early around here and they would be kept awake.

We have had two newborn babies next door, not a bother at all. YANBU

IWantMyHatBack · 27/04/2018 01:08

9pm IS too late.

WomaninGreen · 27/04/2018 01:14

YANBU OP

I don't understand why some people let their children screech so loudly.

I also don't get why some posters are implying you'll be that type of parent, there's still plenty of us who don't let kids screech.

Osirus · 27/04/2018 01:15

You sound like a considerate neighbour OP, and it’s absolutely fine to be bothered by the noise. I don’t think you should complain though, especially with your own on the way and you never know when you might need your neighbour on side.

My neighbour has a gigantic trampoline pushed up against my fence/hedge. The noise drives me nuts and not only can I hear them in my living room, they can SEE me too! I don’t say anything, I know they are just having fun and now I have my own child, I’m sure she’ll repay the favour one day. 😀

Also, one day last summer I heard one of the children whisper to the other that they had to be quiet because there was “a baby next door, a really tiny baby”, so that was quite sweet.

It’s all part of living next door to people. They’ll grow up one day.

CheshireChat · 27/04/2018 01:35

Whilst I believe it's absolutely fine that they're outside playing, I think it's ok to ask (nicely) to tone down the screaming/ shouting. It won't impact on their fun and it'll minimise the effect on you. They shouldn't be screaming in general really.

I think it's funny how judgy some posters are about other people's kids bedtimes, not all kids need the same amount of sleep.

Storminateapot · 27/04/2018 01:48

It's really hard because once you hear a repetitive noise that grates on you it seems to amplify until it becomes unbearable.

Being in poor health I was ready to swing for the noise our bathroom refitters made yesterday. It was loud and repetitive and argh!? DH was working from home in this same building at the same time and didn't notice it at all.

I think you are probably being hormonal and just remember this thread on the day when you sit inside hearing your child shriek outside, winding up some other poor woman 4 doors down.

Circle of life.

Seahawk80 · 27/04/2018 02:52

I don't think yabu about the screaming and it going on so late. How long have you lived there op? Do you think it might have b en the same last summer but it didn't bother you? We live in a ground floor flat with terrible soundproofing and until recently had a family upstairs with 2 noisy kids. For the first 2 years it only bothered me occasionally (normally when they ran up and down constantly at 7am when I was hungover!) As soon as I was pregnant it was like I tuned into the noise and it went straight through me. It really got me down. If I were you I'd wait until the baby is born and see how you feel. You can always say you are trying to go to bed super early to rest if you do want to say something.

Laurel543 · 27/04/2018 04:26

YANBU
I’m in the UK, in a terrace with houses and gardens close by on all sides. Lots of kids of all ages. Our next door neighbours, and a house 3 doors up both have trampolines and 2/3 kids in each house. The gardens are normal, small terrace size (the trampolines take up about a third of the space).

I can hear the both sets of kids when they’re outside playing but it’s low general noise with occasional shout. It’s a lovely noise and I enjoy hearing them having fun on a summers evening. Never any screaming or shrieking at all.

One other neighbour a few doors down has a shrieker but he/ she is not out very often or late so it’s handle-able.

I juts red red to comment to say that it is perfectly possible to train kids to play out without disturbing the neighbours. I am really surprised at the number of people her saying you have to suck it up. Surely saying ‘Kids will be kids’ is just lazy parenting. If you want your kids to be able to play at full volume then you should move somewhere without close neighbours. If you live in close proximity to others, you need to teach them to be considerate.

Sorry, it doesn’t help your situation OP. You can ask them to keep it down it seems a lot of people think that level of noise is acceptable and they are likely to just think you are a fussy neighbour.

All the best with your pregnancy and with the baby when it arrives. Hopefully you’ll be so busy/besotted you won’t notice the noise any more. Sounds like you’re going to be a great, and thoughtful, parent.

Andromeida59 · 27/04/2018 04:45

I see no issue with children playing outside but why should children be allowed to scream constantly? As soon as we had the nice weather last week, kids were out past 9pm with screams and screeches. This wouldn't be tolerated from adults so why is it ok in children? Of course there will be some noise with children playing but constant screaming is unnecessary.

flumpybear · 27/04/2018 04:45

Background Noise is fair enough you'll need to suck it up or live in a more remote area. I'd be really irked about screaming, my DD used to make shrieking sounds and I pull her up every time and threaten her that she'll have to come inside if it continues

7pm is too early tho - I have a 9&6 year old and they're often at one of their after school clubs TIL 7-8pm then may have a quick race around the garden before bed tho they favour the iPad lol
9pm garden noise should be a minimum /background noise only unless it's a one off party etc

HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 27/04/2018 09:20

Not sure if 9pm is too late to be up but I agree it's too late to be screaming in the garden.My kids are allowed out in the garden past 7pm in the summer but if they were being very noisy I'd quiet them down. I also agree that In Germany neighbours tend to be much more considerate of each other. In the UK you have to put up with more.

MissEliza · 27/04/2018 11:22

I would probably tell my kids to pack it in by 8.30 so maybe 9 is a bit late. Other than that I think you're being unreasonable. Mind you I bet in 6/7 years time when your little one is making the noise and the neighbours' kids have grown up, they'll be complaining about yours Grin!

Nanny0gg · 27/04/2018 11:47

9 pm on a school night is inconsiderate.

JacquesHammer · 27/04/2018 11:49

Honestly? You need to suck it up. Kids playing outside is a million times better than them sitting on xboxes playing fortnite.

Why are the two options always “sedentary tech addicts” and “noisy having fun”. It’s perfectly possible for children to have fun outside without screaming.

Lloyd45 · 27/04/2018 11:59

How can you have no noise, even in the middle nowhere animals make noises. I don't really have neighbours as we are an end house but Friday and Saturday night people walk back from the local pub, they make noise singing and chatting nothing terrible, we have to put up with it. Where ever you are where you have people and neighbours you will have noise, we have to learn to be tolerant (unless unsocial behaviour)

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 27/04/2018 12:06

if you can hear kids playing four doors away, think how loud your crying baby will be to them.

On what planet do people live where a baby can be heard though an entire street! I can't even hear the baby from the house next door!

If you want your own kids to be reasonably quiet, they will be. Only lazy parent pretend that all kids are a disruption for others, it's just not true if you actually look after them properly.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 27/04/2018 12:18

YANBU. Nothing wrong with kids playing outside with normal noise levels expected for kids playing, but they do seem to scream more, especially girls, all the time - and LOUDLY. It's bloody annoying and I can hear kids screaming from several houses away all through the summer.

Chattymummyhere · 27/04/2018 12:18

If your child is a screamer they need to be inside by 9pm it’s just inconsiderate to have children out screaming and shouting at 9pm. Mine come in 8pm latest from playing out but if they are being loud they will be in before then. Unlike my feral neighbours who’s children will be screaming and shout till god knows what hour but if you speak to her, her children are little angels and she will get her kickers in a tight knot “protecting” her children. The father is the useless drug induced paranoid type to boot.

WeaselsRising · 27/04/2018 12:26

See I don't think yabu. Some people moved in over the back from us and their 2 girls scream constantly. There is no need for children to scream. Playing noise is fine. Laughing is fine but not screaming.

I have 5dc and that was the thing I wouldn't tolerate. They were told from very young that you only scream if you are in trouble and need help. If they forgot themselves I would be on them straightaway. I can't understand parents who allow it.

rach01pink · 27/04/2018 12:26

Soon your baby will be screaming the house down all hours of the day and night... Waking up your neighbours... Would you like it if they knocked in your door? Didn't think so.

Let kids play... As long as they aren't swearing and shouting obscenities!

Are you one of those kids should be seen and not heard folk? Good luck with that....

DairyisClosed · 27/04/2018 12:29

YANBU. Good parents have their children not to scream like animals.

Jaxhog · 27/04/2018 12:32

This is what noise cancelling headphones were invented for. Or get a very loud hooter and sound it at 15 minute intervals until they stop.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 27/04/2018 13:03

rach01pink
Pretty sure the OP will have a human baby, not a blue whale baby...

OliviaStabler · 27/04/2018 13:09

I don't understand why some people let their children screech so loudly.

Read some of the replies on here for your answer. They want their kids to get fresh air / exercise or they try and tell them what to do but they take no notice. F* everyone else is their motto.

Original poster
FrauNeuer · 28/04/2018 09:18

Quick update —— I think another neighbour may have beaten me to it! Last night the kids were riding their bikes in the street, supervised by the mother (whom I’ve actually never seen), with frequent instructions to “ssshhhhhh!”

There aren’t a great number of kids in the area - many retirees, who probably didn’t appreciate the noise either. Thanks anyway guys for commenting. It helped me to step back a little.

Rach01pink - To put the issue into context, I worked from home yesterday and next door had their grandkids there. They spent nearly all afternoon in the garden chasing the dog and I wasn’t disturbed at all. All I could hear was laughter and it was really nice to hear the kids enjoying themselves. I guess you’re one of these parents who think that just because they have a child, they can be oblivious to the comfort of others.

Laurel543 - thanks so much for your lovely comment! Bear

OP posts: