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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh God help me

58 replies

Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:02

I'm posting for traffic here sorry.
I'm so embarrassed about this but this has happened before to me.
Twice I have dreamt that I'm on the toilet and wet the bed and it's just happened again. I am with a new partner and last time it happened I told him that I had spilt water this time I woke up and he hasn't noticed yet.
What the hell I do.

OP posts:
Redcherries · 26/04/2018 06:17

Is he in the bed? If not I would strip the bed straight into the wash and blame an unexpected period.

Alternatively be upfront and tell him. Then book a dr appointment, there must be something causing this, possibly an infection? Even my grumpy, unsympathetic Dh would have understood in our early days and in fact did, so fingers crossed he will be the same.

It reads to me that it’s only happened since you’ve met him? So a recent thing? Definitely worth getting checked over.

MyotherUsernameisaPun · 26/04/2018 06:38

I completely understand your upset but this isn't your fault. I expect you have some kind of infection and I would make a Drs appointment. It might also be worth considering environmental factors - are you drinking caffeine in the evenings, do you have a drink right before bed, do you go to the loo last thing etc.

In terms of your partner, it's going to sound very difficult but I think you should trust him to be decent about it if it's going to be obvious to him what happened when he wakes up. If he is a good man he will be understanding about it - my DH would have been very calm and sympathetic even when our relationship was new, and there is every reason your partner will be the same. These things happen, it's not your fault.

Hopefully it's just a simple infection and you will be all sorted soon xxx

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:39

He is in the bed. Last time I said I had split water.
This time I tried to wake him and I said I need to say something he muttered I know and I said what you know and he muttered water and went back to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:42

This is ridiculous because I don't believe it's an infection however I do sometimes have like urge incontinence.
I am also diabetic.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 26/04/2018 06:50

Is it your bed or his?

Could you get up v quickly and put a towel over the area, then say you needed to protect the sheet? It will buy you t8me till he gets up and you can change the bed.

Did you have vigorous stimulation last night Blush you could blame that.

I still have those dreams and wake up really anxious, but I haven't act

Frouby · 26/04/2018 06:50

Are you sure it's you OP and not him? Seems strange if it only happens when he is there if it has never happened before.

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:54

It happened in the past with old partner. It does help if I empty bladder last thing. I don't actually drink loads though but in the mornings I am bursting to the point where as soon as I get up I dribble before I get to the toilet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:55

I have put a towel over for now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 06:56

There was activity last night but I can't see it being that.

OP posts:
MollyHuaCha · 26/04/2018 07:01

See your Dr. I feel for you.

Tinkobell · 26/04/2018 07:09

That's v upsetting. It's happened to me once when I was in my 20's and sharing a bed with DH as a newly wed! Nice.
Are you utterly shattered / a very deep sleeper? Do you drink quite a lot in the evenings? I'd think about setting an alarm clock around 3am to retrain your bladder to wake you up for a pee.
Avoid caffeine - tea and coffee. And do some pelvic floor exercises. Very best 💐

picklemepopcorn · 26/04/2018 07:09

There are medications you can take. Also, caffeine is a terrible irritant, I had to give it up.

Thanks
Tinkobell · 26/04/2018 07:10

Are you overweight? Get a GP or gynae referral.

Lacucuracha · 26/04/2018 07:12

Well at least he seems to either think you had another water spillage or he knows you had an accident and isn't fazed by it.

He sounds like a keeper, OP! Wink

TheVanguardSix · 26/04/2018 07:27

OP you can usually self-refer to the Continence clinic. I speak from experience. Confused

And if you can't self refer in your neck of the woods, your GP should refer you. You can get help with this problem.

Tinkobell · 26/04/2018 08:10

@TheVanguard is correct, your area will have a Continence advisory clinic. They're normally run by specialist nurses, sometimes you can just call them but gp may need to refer. You mention a new partner, sorry to ask, but if this is a new problem, can you discount an STD?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 09:51

I swear he knows the real reason

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 09:51

God the shame.

OP posts:
Aprilmightbemynewname · 26/04/2018 09:54

Most men have their own worry on a morning - gives you somewhere to hang your dressing gown though.. Wink
Get to the gp for a check up though.

Buckingfrolicks · 26/04/2018 09:56

You're going to have to take a massive breath and tell him. It is not your fault - you are not choosing to do that, and if you move today to try and get medical advice, then he will, if he's a keeper, understand and support you.

If he sneers laughs or blames you, walk away.

SluttyButty · 26/04/2018 09:57

Have you had a urine dip to check for a uti? Sometimes the only symptom of me having them is wetting myself. My Gp also did an internal to check for prolapses.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 26/04/2018 09:58

This happened to me once. I made sure that if I ever thought I was going to the loo in the night that I looked around to be sure it was the bathroom and went a tiny bit 1st to be sure. It has never happened again. Perhaps the incontinence pads in bed?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 10:01

Think I will go to docs

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 26/04/2018 10:02

Lol April

OP posts:
AnoiaUnstickMyDrawers · 26/04/2018 10:03

This has happened to me in the past. I quite often have the 'toilet dream' where I'm desperately looking for somewhere to go but there's no door etc. (think it's a stress / anxiety dream) Every time I wake up in a panic that it's happened again.

Flowers for you OP, go and get checked for infection or similar

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