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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset I cannot afford to live in London

124 replies

marielle17 · 22/04/2018 09:01

Just wanted to come on here and have a rant, I am moving back to the UK from Spain. Having had a look at places to rent in London, its very apparent that I will not be able to afford to live anywhere near my family in London. I am a teacher my salary will be circa 35K, but I am also a single mum with two kids, my youngest son is 8 months, so I will need childcare, which is not possible on my wage plus renting. I planned to live close to family, so my mum and grandma could between them help with the childcare, however even then I will barely be scraping by. I am really upset about this, I have been looking at possibly commuting into London, but they will mean communting with two kids. I have been looking at living in luton on purfleet, essex to be specific. The other alternative is just not to work and be on benefits. Controversial I know. Any suggestions on how a teacher can cope living in London, how do people cope.

OP posts:
GorgonLondon · 22/04/2018 09:06

I saw your thread title and came to say:

Yanbu if you grew up here and have family here
Yabu if you didn't

I see that you, like me, are from London. And can't afford to live anywhere near your own family. It's shit, isn't it.

People from areas like Cornwall where prices are pushed up by second home owners are allowed to be annoyed about it and to make rules against 'outsiders' buying properties, but in London we just have to suck it up.

I wouldn't move to Luton personally. Where are your family?

Cyberworrier · 22/04/2018 09:11

I know a teacher living in a subsidised Peabody Trust flat. Could you look into how likely it’d be for you to be able to get key worker accommodation? Sorry don’t know more. Good luck.

Springhun · 22/04/2018 09:12

What part of London is it?

comfortandjoy · 22/04/2018 09:12

YANBU as a teacher and single income household life would be so hard in London. Life would be better and more comfortable if you lived in a cheaper area of the country, where that is a good salary . You would be able to afford childcare more easily and in the future kids could go stay with your family for school holidays etc. ( I live overseas and am thinking that is a good situation to aim for )

dingdongdigeridoo · 22/04/2018 09:18

Yeah it sucks. I’d love to live close to family. Commuting is tough because the season ticket prices tend to be insane.

People from areas like Cornwall where prices are pushed up by second home owners are allowed to be annoyed about it and to make rules against 'outsiders' buying properties, but in London we just have to suck it up.

This. Just waiting for the ‘but just move to the north east!’ brigade to show up.

ZenNudist · 22/04/2018 09:21

Well moving north would get you a much better standard of living. Not much help if you want to be near family.

NoSquirrels · 22/04/2018 09:22

Whereabouts are your family?

Have you looked into - as PP suggests - Peabody Trust, other HA properties who often have schemes for ‘key workers’ or even considered shared ownership as I’m sure there are schemes for teachers.

Will DC’s father pay CM? I assume for WTC £35K is too much for childcare help?

specialsubject · 22/04/2018 09:26

Have you checked the benefits situtation? Being an expat affects it.

Any chance of child support from your recent ex?

SilverHairedCat · 22/04/2018 09:29

Realistically you may not be entitled to any out of work benefits or housing assistance because you've been living abroad. Be very careful if that if your back up plan.

Have you looked at housing associations, key worker schemes etc? What do other teachers at the school you're moving to do?

FASH84 · 22/04/2018 09:31

OP I live in Essex, purfleet is very expensive for what it is. It's pretty rough (see if you can find info on the garrison estate) and there aren't any local amenities unless you drive to other places for then. My brother's friend has ended up in negative equity having bought on one of the new developments that lots of commuters bought into, then realised the area is a dump, local schools also not great, there is a better primary (kenningtons) in aveley but you'd have to drive them there. Not sure what your rental budget is but happy to give an overview of pretty much anywhere in Essex, I have friends who teach and I work in probation so know a fair amount about what goes on.

holiday101 · 22/04/2018 09:33

It's upsetting but you moved away and surely realized that housing in London is extortionate? I am surprised that you are shocked that £35k, 2 kids and having no free childcare would allow you to live in London. I would love to live there too, but financially it isn't viable.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 22/04/2018 09:41

Just waiting for the ‘but just move to the north east!’ brigade to show up

OK, We'll just have to sit in our affordable houses (with driveways and gardens) and shut up. Wink

TeachesOfPeaches · 22/04/2018 09:45

You can apply for housing benefit to help cover the rent and child tax credits pay towards childcare but I don't know if you can get it if you've been living abroad.

YoucancallmeVal · 22/04/2018 09:46

I'm a single parent and also a teacher and I rent in London. It is hideously expensive but doable. Would you be better renting a tiny place near your family and making Do, as childcare will be the killer. You need an inner London salary ideally so you get the extra allowance and if you have to commute far that will not balance each other out.

UnsuspectedItem · 22/04/2018 09:46

It sucks but unfortunately that's life. Luckily there are far cheaper places to live within a few hours of London. Not viable for commuting but certainly within visiting distance.

The thing is, we all should be trying to sustain ourselves as independently from the state as possible. Benefits aren't there to subsidise life choices but to act as a safety net for those whose circumstances leave them with no alternatives.

If you can live elsewhere comfortably, it's unfair to ask the state to subsidise you.

Callamia · 22/04/2018 09:49

You should be upset. It sucks.
Childcare costs aren’t forever though, and you can find some fairly readable priced homes. I live with two small children in a two bed flat in south London, and the rent is not extortionate - it’s not far off prices I saw in the north west last week. Our ‘quality of life’ is just fine ;), even without a driveway! (If a driveway actually contributes to your quality of life...)

Mightymucks · 22/04/2018 09:51

Do you have to teach in London? Personally I would look at cheaper places in the SE for jobs and home. From places like Thanet you could do the slightly longer than an hour journey regularly to see your folks.

I am in the same boat, grew up there and now can’t afford to live anywhere near. Entire communities of working class people have been trashed.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/04/2018 09:51

Living in London, one of the best cities in the world, is a massive luxury most people can't afford. That's life.
I presume it isn't that easy just to walk straight in from Spain with a family straight in to a paid for by benefits house in London.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/04/2018 09:53

If you find get on the ladder early, it gets pulled up out of your reach. I know that DS ia unlikely to be able to afford to buy in London. It's like this in a lot of places.

Original poster
marielle17 · 22/04/2018 09:54

GorgonLOndon it sucks right ... I was born and raised in LOndon, now I cannot afford to live near my friends or family, its really upsetting.

No chance of support from my ex. My family are based in all different parts of London, but my grandma and mother are in east london, which is why I am looking towards essex, I have not heard about the peabody key workers scheme I will look into it. If I live in london I will have free childcare which will help me, but rent is still extortionate.

Fash84, any suggestions for places with reasonable renting prices will be much appreciated .

I have been living abroad, however I have been paying into the UK system, so I will be entitled to benefits if needed. I am tired of living abroad, without the support of family, its really hard, for example if my son is ill at nursery I have to take time off, and we all know how that goes down with SLT. If I am in London I will have the support of my family with the kids.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 22/04/2018 09:55

Living in London shouldn't be a luxury. It needs teachers, nurses, cleaners, emergency services, supermarkets etc. All those people have as much right to live there as the oligarchs. And they shouldn't have soul destroying commutes just to get there.

Mightymucks · 22/04/2018 09:56

East London has really good transport links from Stratford International now which it’s worth looking into. That connects it up with the whole of the south east on high speed, so you could extend your options out into Kent which still has cheapish areas.

Lockheart · 22/04/2018 09:59

YANBU to be upset - it can be devastating to be forced to live miles from your family because you have no choice.

Is there any way you could rent somewhere small in the outer zones? £35k would be take home pay of £2,100 a month I think. And is the children’s father not paying anything towards their costs which might help cover some childcare?

Lockheart · 22/04/2018 10:00

Sorry x-posted with you OP. Is there no legal means such as the cms to force your ex to contribute to his children?