AIBU to be upset I cannot afford to live in London

[marielle17]

Just wanted to come on here and have a rant, I am moving back to the UK from Spain. Having had a look at places to rent in London, its very apparent that I will not be able to afford to live anywhere near my family in London. I am a teacher my salary will be circa 35K, but I am also a single mum with two kids, my youngest son is 8 months, so I will need childcare, which is not possible on my wage plus renting. I planned to live close to family, so my mum and grandma could between them help with the childcare, however even then I will barely be scraping by. I am really upset about this, I have been looking at possibly commuting into London, but they will mean communting with two kids. I have been looking at living in luton on purfleet, essex to be specific. The other alternative is just not to work and be on benefits. Controversial I know. Any suggestions on how a teacher can cope living in London, how do people cope.

Not knowing the op’s exact situation, I’d say it’d be approximately £5k less? Which to me personally would be quite a pay cut, though it is true that in some parts of the country that cut would be partially compensated by cheaper housing. I think that’s why so many teachers in inner London schools commute from cheaper areas.

LW for my current part-time job (not teaching) is £150/month. Ha.

YANBU, but it's not just London. People move from London to the Sussex town where I live and they have priced out local families. It's now quite a lot more expensive than some of the cheaper parts of outer London.

The whole housing situation is shot in much of the south-east, and some other hotspots. It's a combination of government housing and economic policy and local councils not insisting on the maximum of social/affordable properties being included as a planing condition on all new developments.

It's especially tough on single parents because childcare costs are so high.

I'd stay in Spain if I were you. At least the weather's better. And spare a thought for the cleaners, waiters etc struggling on salaries barely half of yours and needing to be near enough to get to work during unsocial hours.

30k salary from 35k with weighting wouldn't just partially be compensated with cheaper housing, it would be more than compensated in large swathes of the country. So eg 30k in Liverpool will buy you a lot more than 35k in London- London weighting isn't actually enough in a lot of jobs. Problem is of course OPs family. Otherwise the quality of life would make it a no brainer.

I agree completely with enthusiasm and something . Gentrification has meant a destruction of communities. It's all fake and meaningless.

Top of main scale salary for a teacher, not in London and not on UPS is £33,824. Go for UPS point and you add another £2000+.
So, with CB, that puts the OP at around £35000.
London weighting would be another £5,000.

Forest Gate has been mentioned as a possibly affordable area the OP could look into but 3 bedroom flats average £1,800 pcm to rent:

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E70426&maxBedrooms=3&minBedrooms=3&includeLetAgreed=false

Take home on 35k is around £2100 a month with rent at £1800 she'll barely afford council tax on top let alone all of her other bills and child related expenses

One of OPs kids is 8 months, a two bed flat should be fine. Lots in Newham and Waltham Forest (Forest Gate etc) for around £1200 pcm on Rightmove.

Then once you're set up look into shared ownership / Help to Buy etc. It's not impossible.

One of my friends is a single mum teacher sharing a bedroom with her child in a single parent flatshare in Stratford. It's not easy but these things can be done, you don't need to be a banker. It depends what else you are prepared to compromise on.

One of OPs kids is 8 months, a two bed flat should be fine. Lots in Newham and Waltham Forest (Forest Gate etc) for around £1200 pcm on Rightmove.

^^ This. 2-bed to rent, and look into key worker shared housing schemes.

The option to ‘move up north’ will always be there, but OP wants to be close to family. I’d try to stay in London if my family were close by.

I put in a search for 3 beds at maximum £1000pcm. Not a lot around, but there's a lovely terraced hous ein Crayford near a good school, and a clean, freshly decorated 3 bed maisonette above a newsagent in Upminster. Both are walking idstance from good Ofsted schools. Crayford is walking distance to zone 6 public transport. Upminister one is a mile from the tube, so not so great. There may be more, but lots of them are single rooms in shared houses that slipped through the filter.

Should be up on this page

Upminster is a really nice area, with great schools and country parks just up the road

YABU. London is quite litterally a shithole.

What a ridiculous comment TipTopTat! A shit hole that 8 million people call home and is easily one of the world's 5 greatest cities.

Yanbu op. House prices here are just terrible! It's awful that so many are literally priced out of living in London.

@TipTopTat neither the correct meaning nor spelling of literally
OP you have my sympathy. I left London a few years ago with the intention of kids, we have our second on the way. I thought my hankering for living in town would've abated but I miss it loads and can't afford it, even with a household income of £80k+ with childcare looking at mainline trains into Liverpool st would be my only advice.

YANBU. We moved away from London and our family around 30 years ago and now live in South East Cornwall. However I had a DH and as our DC were pre school I had to pay for a childminder as we had no family near by to help. My mum and dad visited in summer holidays but to this day my mum is upset we moved away especially as she is now widowed, although remarried and getting older so needs more support. Not sure what else we could have done though except suck up living in a grotty area in London with dreadful schools.

You have my sympathy but I’m not sure what the solution is.

I’m not originally from London. Most of my peer group left their families some years ago as the jobs were in London. There were plenty of big houses elsewhere in the UK but not as many jobs which would enable us to pay the mortgage. Having family nearby is not as widespread as you might think, especially in London.

How about looking at jobs in the area your mum lives in and drive to your mum's and drop off kids. Look at areas which are easy to get to your mum's from. they might not necessarily be great for commuters as you wouldn't need to be near a railway station.

There are also live in jobs in private boarding/day schools too which might be useful cos. your children could get free/subsidised child care there too.

Why isn't the father paying to support his children?

It is just awful a qualified teacher cannot live in London. I personally think you should have access to social housing since you are a key worker.
My only unhelpful comment would be to stay in Spain a little while longer. At least your kids would have it as a language.

CornishClio - perhaps not moved as far away as Cornwall?

I seperated from my childrens father due to domestic violence, there is no chance of him paying child support. Living away from family is really hard with to young children, I dont want to just live in London for the sake of it. I work as a secondary math teacher, and taking time off because my children are unwell makes me feel very guilty, because the children essentially dont learn the way they should, also I dont think SLT like it very much. Its really hard to balance worklife with no friends and family nearby, which is why I am moving back to the UK, however I now have realised that I may not even be able to afford to live near family. Here in Spain my son goes to a very good nursery for about 400 a month, I know it is not possible to find full time childcare at that price in the UK. If I live away from london, I will have to pay childcare plus rent, if I live in London, I will pay extortionate rent and barely get by. I think in both siutations I am screwed.

and thank you for all the words of support and helpful information, I will definitely look into key worker accomodation.