AIBU to be upset I cannot afford to live in London

[marielle17]

Just wanted to come on here and have a rant, I am moving back to the UK from Spain. Having had a look at places to rent in London, its very apparent that I will not be able to afford to live anywhere near my family in London. I am a teacher my salary will be circa 35K, but I am also a single mum with two kids, my youngest son is 8 months, so I will need childcare, which is not possible on my wage plus renting. I planned to live close to family, so my mum and grandma could between them help with the childcare, however even then I will barely be scraping by. I am really upset about this, I have been looking at possibly commuting into London, but they will mean communting with two kids. I have been looking at living in luton on purfleet, essex to be specific. The other alternative is just not to work and be on benefits. Controversial I know. Any suggestions on how a teacher can cope living in London, how do people cope.

On a £35k salary you can afford to buy or rent in other places in the country, you have no more entitlement to live in London than I have toown a Bentley, unfortunately I can’t afford a Bentley, so I drive a Honda.

Sorry, but that’s a bullshit comparison. Totally ignores issues about community, a sense of belonging, care of the young and the elderly. Nothing to do with ‘entitlement’ and everything to do with the experience of being human.

A LP friend was recently left no option but to be moved to a far-flung part of the country, away from everything they and young DC are connected to. I can’t go into it in detail, it’s not my story to tell. Fucking brutal, tbh, and this ‘Oh well, no-ones entitled’ stuff makes me so angry.

We could afford a property twice the size in we left London but it would mean leaving my mum, sister and friends behind. No big house can compensate for the loss of that support network. We see my mum 3 times a week or more, she is always available for babysitting or to provide emergency childcare. My DD would be devastated to load that closeness with her Nan. Moving away isn't as simple as it looks on paper.

I find it ridiculous that people just accept that not being able to live in our capital city is some kind of acceptable situation and that we should all just suck it up.

Of course capital cities are expensive everywhere, but two people working full time, unable to live in the place they choose is absolutely ridiculous.

Gentrification should not have to be a thing. There are plenty of places in London lying empty because second home owners buy them up and never live there.

It's ridiculous.

I have been living abroad, however I have been paying into the UK system, so I will be entitled to benefits if needed

You'd need to satisfy the habitual residence test if you arrive in the UK from abroad, even as a UK citizen. So no guarantee that you'd be able to claim benefits immediately.

It's not clear what you've been paying into the system when abroad - if it is class 3 NI credits, that only entitles you to state pension and some bereavement benefits, it has no effect on entitlement to working age benefits. Definitely worth seeking further advice on.

This is why schools in London are struggling to keep experienced teachers.
My London primary school used to get 100+applications for a post, that has plummeted the last 4 years. We have lost 4 great teachers in the last 2 years, who moved out of London purely for financial reasons, all early 30s, all moved to areas where they could afford to buy.
Our headteacher has asked us to give her as much notice as possible if we are leaving because of the difficulty recruiting. We are a lovely school, with a great reputation.
The good news is if you want a job, it should be easy to find one. However the reason for this is London becoming too expensive for key workers. It's fine when you're young, have no family responsibilities and don't mind flat shares, but most people want more as they get older.

This attitude that is pervasive on this thread is disgusting, the OP isn't looking for a mansion she is looking for a house near her family. Unfortunately so many people are accepting the crazy artificially inflated prices in London as justification that only rich people can live there. When are you going to wake up and realise that London will grind to a halt without key workers? Frankly it's disgusting. When did housing your family become a luxury like a Bentley? Would people prefer the OP is homeless?

We had to leave everything we had ever known, all our friends, family, work, home etc at 38 years old when rent prices forced us out. We both work full time but it just wasn’t enough. Broke our hearts and totally disrupted the children.

YANBU

The rising costs in London is pushing so many people away people that are needed to work London

It’s spiralled out of control of the housing market crashes that creates a problem but that will allow first time buyers to get on the ladder, there isn’t enough money to build enough social housing as it’s been ignored by consecutive governments since the big sell off

Sorry that doesn’t help much

You should qualify for housing help in London for certain occupations like Teaching , Nursing etc.
www.peabody.org.uk/find-a-home/key-workers-regency/about-the-scheme

It's fine when you're young, have no family responsibilities and don't mind flat shares, but most people want more as they get older.

I don’t think it’s ideal to keep late-twenty-somethings in a state of perpetual student living. Especially as it has knock-on effects, for example women running into fertility issues having had to delay starting a family until they’ve established some security.

However the reason for this is London becoming too expensive for key workers.

Worse still, it seems we’re happy for some of our lowest-waged workers on night shifts to be rendered invisible, schlepping miles and miles in and out on night buses, as if that work pattern and pay wasn’t punishing enough.

My DH and I had a combined salary of £90k as teachers when we lived in London, but couldn't afford to upgrade to a 2-bed near my family when we decided to have a baby. So we decided to move out. It was very hard leaving the city I grew up in and loved and if I could have afforded it I would have stayed.

Now we live 3 hours away and my DD sees her grandmother once every 2 months and they don't have much of a bond. If I had been able to stay, we would have been able to see her 3x a week. I realise it is a first world problem, as we now own a house with a garden in a lovely city, but it is difficult without family nearby and it's not London.

I realise it is a first world problem

Community and family is necessary for wellbeing the world over.

Can you live with you mother or grandmother?

I live in a Home Counties town where the average house price is about £750,000 for a four bed, with many houses in the £1.5-3 million range.

Unfortunately, something we had to consider when moving here is that it's unlikely our dc will be able to afford to live here in the future, they'll have to move away from their home town.

But that's something people have had to do for years. I had to leave my Welsh hometown to find work - most people leave at the age of 18.

OK, We'll just have to sit in our affordable houses (with driveways and gardens) and shut up

Yes, well. The NE is great in many ways, including more affordable housing for people in key worker roles (although perhaps smug MN posters aren't the best bit) but it's nowhere near the OP's family. Salt in the wound, eh?

My job is only doable in central London and it's paid better than teaching but nowhere near the legal or financial fields. We are moving increasingly to flexible working including home working to accommodate cheaper commutes and people moving more than an hour from London. Our colleagues a generation up, who had comparable salaries to us in real terms, all own large houses in areas that were slightly less desirable but are now property hot spots. My family was from London - a now-expensive area that I could only dream of buying a flat in. It sucks. London is now full of enormous blocks of empty flats owned in Singapore and the life is draining from it.

i would never be abe to afford to live in london.

luckily i dont want to.

i thin the only way i could do it would be a houseshare and somewhere quite far out. or maybe a studio flat.

my sister managed to do it.

high earning job working 6 days a week. and she lives in a 2 bedroom flat with someone else. half of all bills makes a big difference.

similarly i wouldnt expect to live in NYC, Sydney or Paris etc.

where i live you can get onto a beautiful new build estate, very safe, plenty of space, countryside, lovely area and walks, for 80k. the quality of life i can have here is very different.

Were you a single parent in Madrid? I'm not familiar with Madrid but it seems that a lot of capital cities have this problem. My engaged childless teacher sister can't live in the city of her choice as the numbers don't add up. She's not planning kids but doesn't want to live in flat shares at her age (38 years old so been a teacher for 17 years) Her only extravagance is being a dog owner.

it's funny cos the moment i turned 18 and was out of my home town like a runaway train i considered all of this and thats why i didnt head to london. in a lot of ways it wouldve made a lot of sense, as i do feel like a minority within a minority here, and i wouldnt have felt that way in london, it wouldve been more anonymous and probably more accepting, that's the big upside.

I was a teacher in London, couldn’t afford to buy, so I moved North for years. The lovely thing about being a teacher is that you have a portable skill that means you are employable anywhere in the country, so you have more choice about where to live.
On a teacher’s salary, you will get a lot more for your money, there are beautiful areas, amazing cities and fantastic opportunities in so many different places.
YANBU to be upset about not being near your family, but there will be big compensations.

I grew up in the far west of Cornwall, moved away at 18 and could only afford to return to the county in my mid 30s.

Nowhere is perfect, prices are rising, housing prices are insane and wages aren't keeping up. Add in the extreme difference between the wealthiest and poorest in the country and its no surprise that people on good salaries like £35k can't afford to live where they would like. And it's shite.

I agree with Boxsets.

YANBU to be sad not to be able to live near your family but YWBVU to give up work and expect to live on benefits.

Like many others, you need to find somewhere where you can afford to work and live.

Getting angry on the OP's behalf is silly because 1) she's not entitled to live there just because of her family and 2) what difference does it make moaning about the high costs of living there?

So, boo-hoo. Time to pull your dummy out. You can't afford to live there, guess what, neither can millions of other people. YABU.

Whereabouts in East London are your family? There are still pockets that are cheap surely, maybe not as desirable, but will inevitably become nicer as people are forced to live further out (like has happened with Hackney, Stratford etc). Places like Forest Gate, Canning Town, Plaistow?

But ‘people who can afford to live here’ need teachers, nurses, shop workers, a community, friend, so what do you suggest? Should they leave too? Who would that leave? How would it work?

Don’t be silly.