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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take finance out in my name?

75 replies

Friendslover · 05/02/2018 08:08

My DH wants a new car (we don't need one, our car is fine!) he has poor credit which means he won't be able to get finance. DH wants me to take the finance out & he will pay the monthly repayments. He is the higher earner. I'm now pt after baby.

Backstory: I have already taken out a loan for him in my name (£4000) which he has always paid (£110 monthly) but over the last year he's had some issues (family/work) & has basically taken them out on me. He hasn't been a nice person, which he has acknowledged & is now trying to make amends. I personally think he is depressed but he will not seek any help.

I've said no because if he left me (which I've considered may happen with his awful behaviour) I financially would be screwed. I have 2 DC's that I would need to support & they come first.

I have explained this to him but he's now giving me the guilt trip (how could you think I would do that to you? Do you not trust me? Etc)

I know I am not being unreasonable I suppose I just need some validation of that Confused

OP posts:
Lichtie · 05/02/2018 08:11

You have answered your own question.... He doesn't need it and doesn't have the credit to afford it. Stick with your gut

PersianCatLady · 05/02/2018 08:12

If I were I your shoes I wouldn't take out finance for him.

I would think about it if you needed a decent car because your current car was awful and not reliable (I would have the finance and car in my name though)

He needs to realise that there is a reason why he can't get his own finance and work towards improving it so that he can.

Sorry if I haven't been that helpful.

GetShitDone · 05/02/2018 08:13

You are so not being unreasonable.

But then I speak with a life lens of having been with a financially irresponsible partner. There's no way I would take responsibility for someone else's debt, partner or not. You are right, it will leave you in the shit if he leaves you.

I think you are being sensible.

barefoofdoctor · 05/02/2018 08:13

YANBU at all.

WTFIsThisVirus · 05/02/2018 08:15

I would also say no. Not because of him not being a nice person, but because he wants a luxury that is not necessary for the family.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 05/02/2018 08:17

Surely if he is treating you awfully it would be you leaving him? So tell him that, tell him if he keeps treating you that way it would be you leaving him and you'd still be stick with debt in his name and you don't want that so no

NewYearNewMe18 · 05/02/2018 08:18

If you think he might leave you - then you've got far more to worry about than car finance.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 05/02/2018 08:20

How much of the £4000 does he still owe?

kaytee87 · 05/02/2018 08:22

Has the £4K loan been fully repaid? I wouldn't do it in your situation, I think you're being pretty sensible.

Original poster
Friendslover · 05/02/2018 08:28

Sorry should of said he owes £4000 now, it was £5500. I also lent him £2000 from my own money which he has paid back in full. I've always been very sensible with money.

When I say about the possibility of him leaving me it's in a worse case scenario way, because anyone can leave. He hasn't been very nice but I do believe he's been struggling, & he has been making more of an effort of late.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 05/02/2018 08:33

Don't do it.

PersianCatLady · 05/02/2018 08:34

Why does he need to borrow money from you so much?

Can he not wait for things he wants or is he borrowing money for things he needs?

If he were to leave today, you would be £4,000 out of pocket.

Stop feeling bad about doing what is best for you and your kids.

If he pays back the £4,000, he needs to start working on getting his own credit rating improved and stop expecting everything he wants courtesy of you.

MickeyLuv · 05/02/2018 08:35

So he still owes you £4K and wants you to take out more finance for him? Not a chance! Cheeky git.

viques · 05/02/2018 08:37

Doesn't sound as though either of you should be taking out additional loans. him because he is a spendthrift with poor credit and you because you are only on pt wages. Why is his credit so poor? What is his credit history?

kaytee87 · 05/02/2018 08:38

Wouldn't even consider it if he still owes you £4K. He's being a CF

Firesuit · 05/02/2018 08:39

I don't think you need any more reason to say no than it's financially stupid to finance a car that isn't a necessity for earning money.

Firesuit · 05/02/2018 08:40

Wanting something isn't a good enough reason to take out a loan to buy it.

BattleaxeGalactica · 05/02/2018 08:41

He has a poor credit history, still owes you a stonking amount and yet wants more finance he's not liable for?

Tell him to jog on.

Zaphodsotherhead · 05/02/2018 08:41

So it's 'want' versus 'need'. He needs to learn to save for things he needs and stop being swayed by things he wants. A car today, what might it be tomorrow - hand made brogues? A Prada suit?

Tell him you'll think about it when he's finished paying you off for the previous loan.

Idontdowindows · 05/02/2018 08:42

Tell him you'll think about it once the other loan is paid off in full.

Jux · 05/02/2018 08:43

Is there some sort of legal thing which will hold him responsible for repayments to you should the worst happen?

ChasedByBees · 05/02/2018 08:45

He still has the existing loan, no. And he needs to realise he reaps what he sows after his behaviour and should be trying to make amends, not guilt trip you.

expatinscotland · 05/02/2018 08:50

Keep saying no! Just absolutely not.

BarbaraofSevillle · 05/02/2018 08:51

If he has poor credit, does that mean he has a history of borrowing money and not paying it back on time?

So along with the fact that you don't need a new car, that's another reason why car finance isn't a good idea for either of you.

He needs to change his attititude to money and cars. Cars are a tool to get from A to B and he shouldn't be looking for a new one when he has a perfectly satisfactory existing one. It also sounds like the family may be stretched financially, so needs to rein it in a bit, rather than spending on a new car.

Tell him to pay his debts off and save up for a new car. He he can't/won't do that, he can't afford the finance that he wants you to take out.

Sarahjconnor · 05/02/2018 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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