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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to insist we get a little more help?

60 replies

homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 16:50

Our car has just broken down. It's not looking good and looks like it could be a week out of action. All of the mums I'd be friendly with at the school work and live out the other direction so I don't want to put them out by asking them to help out. We rang MIS yesterday and asked could they help out (her and SIL) and she said they were both sick and had to go to the doctor and it would be a bit far. Her house is 15 mins away from us, three mins from school and our house is 15-20 mins from school. We never ask them to help with anything, as in they're great if someone has to go to hospital or something and that's great, but other than that I'm a sahm so they don't do school pick ups or anything. We have 3 kids that go to school which I know is a lot but would fit in the car. Given that we're definitely going to have to figure something out aibu that I want to be a little more pushy to get them to bring the ekids in tomorrow? The school isn't walkable to, it's a country school so other than that we're talking taxis. So given the distance away and that it's 3 children aibu?

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 22/01/2018 16:52

If they are sick then YABU.

AssassinatedBeauty · 22/01/2018 16:54

Yes YABU if they are sick! Don't you believe them?

Getting taxis is a pain but completely doable. Or, if it's a week, could you afford to hire a car for the duration?

Coastalcommand · 22/01/2018 16:56

Sorry YABU. They are ill so can’t help you.

Pengggwn · 22/01/2018 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EggsonHeads · 22/01/2018 16:57

YABU. They are under no obligation to help you.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 22/01/2018 16:58

It would be nice if they helped but they don't have to. Your children gettung to school is your responsibility. You chose where to live and what school to send them to. You chose to be reliant upon a car. So if busses and walking is out then taxi or hire car it is.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 16:58

So they need to drive 20 minutes to you, pick up kids then drive 20 minutes to school, drop off then 5 minutes home?

So an hour round trip when they're ill and have a doctors appt booked in?

I dont think it would hurt for them to hel once of twice over the week if they were well but if they're sick do you really want them around your kids for that long?

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 16:58

Why is it unwalkable?

AssassinatedBeauty · 22/01/2018 17:00

15 to 20 minutes by car is quite a long walk, presumably? And perhaps on narrow roads with no pavement?

Idontevencareanymore · 22/01/2018 17:00

They're ill. They can't help. Not sure how'd you insist they do.
I'm afraid yabu and a little entitled.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 17:00

Youl live less then half an hour to the school?? Walk or get a taxi! If they are sick they can’t help you and shouldn’t be giving you their germs anyway.

FuzzyCustard · 22/01/2018 17:00

Well you can ask them ,. but you certainly can't insist on anything, regardless of whether or not they are ill.

taskmaster · 22/01/2018 17:00

Be more pushy to get them to do the school run for a week? How would that look exactly?

JacquesHammer · 22/01/2018 17:00

YABU.

You weren't being unreasonable to ask, they're not being unreasonable to say no given they're unwell.

You can't "insist" on anyone helping you.

Jinglebells99 · 22/01/2018 17:01

I don't think you can insist they help you. I think you have to assume now they won't help you and come up with another solution. I think you either have to ask friends to take them or ask for a courtesy car from the garage? Hire a car, or taxi? Ask on a local Facebook group for help? There's a woman on my Facebook who asks for a lift to collect her daughter from university at the beginning and end of each term, and asks for a lift to the airport, a 3 hour round trip.

Battleax · 22/01/2018 17:03

On what basis can you "insist"?

Viviennemary · 22/01/2018 17:04

YABU. If they're ill obviously they can't be ferrying you around. How long would that take them per day. Quite a while. You will need to either get a lift from somebody else or pay out for a taxi.

LaurieMarlow · 22/01/2018 17:04

Jesus Christ they're ill. Of course YABU. Get a taxi.

FuckyDucky · 22/01/2018 17:08

OP, you’re going about this all the wrong way!
Step 1) employ childminder

Step 2) childminder walks with child/ren to MIL house with car seats if needed, knock on door, leave children there.

Step 3) Et Voila! And if anyone calls you a CF just act baffled and text ?

All taken care of Grin

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 22/01/2018 17:09

Is this a follow up / hilarious reverse to the CF thread last week involving a child minder & a car seat? The one where the OP developed pneumonia?

chickenowner · 22/01/2018 17:10

I'm not sure how you can 'insist' on this. What exactly were you planning to do to make them do what you want?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 22/01/2018 17:10

I'm wondering what your avenues are if you insist and help is still not forthcoming? Is there a grievance procedure or do Mail's have some sort of independent body like ofcom you can write to? Maybe ofmil?

Battleax · 22/01/2018 17:11

Grin @ OFMIL

BewareOfDragons · 22/01/2018 17:11

Get a taxi.
Get an uber.
Hire a cheap car for the week.

They are your children and your responsibility. Not your extended family's.

IF you live that far from the school and it is your catchment school, perhaps call the council and ask for help?

Original poster
homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 17:12

Sorry, I didn't finish post. Husband rang later to see how they got on at the doctors, they said they didn't end up going because they know they have the flu. Then MIL rang later on to say talking about going to something tomorrow evening so DH said hes not sure about the sick thing. And we can't walk, the school is a country school , there isn't paths for miles! But yeah, looking like taxi I guess

OP posts:
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