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AIBU?

to insist we get a little more help?

60 replies

homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 16:50

Our car has just broken down. It's not looking good and looks like it could be a week out of action. All of the mums I'd be friendly with at the school work and live out the other direction so I don't want to put them out by asking them to help out. We rang MIS yesterday and asked could they help out (her and SIL) and she said they were both sick and had to go to the doctor and it would be a bit far. Her house is 15 mins away from us, three mins from school and our house is 15-20 mins from school. We never ask them to help with anything, as in they're great if someone has to go to hospital or something and that's great, but other than that I'm a sahm so they don't do school pick ups or anything. We have 3 kids that go to school which I know is a lot but would fit in the car. Given that we're definitely going to have to figure something out aibu that I want to be a little more pushy to get them to bring the ekids in tomorrow? The school isn't walkable to, it's a country school so other than that we're talking taxis. So given the distance away and that it's 3 children aibu?

OP posts:

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Pengggwn · 22/01/2018 17:14

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Pengggwn · 22/01/2018 17:14

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Notasperfectasallothermners · 22/01/2018 17:15

Why do dps resign from parenthood once their dc hit 18??..
Baffles me.
I personally bend over backwards to assist my adult dc when they need me just as if they were kids. Isn't that normal? Seems not. Eyes def opened since joined mn!

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 17:15

If she's even coldy you don't want her in a car woth the kids for 2 hours a day. I do think 2 hours a day is also a lot of ask for a week.

Hire car?
How does DH get to work? Could he drop them/you?

YellowMakesMeSmile · 22/01/2018 17:15

I'd be telling you were to go if you insisted I was to take your chidren to school, ill or not.

You don't work, so have the time to take them there and back in a taxi yourself or book a hire car. Hardly rocket science.

Allthebestnamesareused · 22/01/2018 17:16

If you are that far away from the country school and there are no paths then surely the LA provides buses to school?

Namechangetempissue · 22/01/2018 17:17

If someone "insisted" I do anything -especially when I was ill enough to make a doctors appointment - I would tell them to fuck off frankly. Being asked isn't a problem at all, but you can't insist someone looks after your children! I agree with booking a taxi if you really can't walk it.

AssassinatedBeauty · 22/01/2018 17:17

If they have flu then they did the right thing. And shouldn't spread it to your children. They may hope to do something in the evening tomorrow, doesn't mean they will.

Is car hire not an option?

JacquesHammer · 22/01/2018 17:18

Why do dps resign from parenthood once their dc hit 18??..
Baffles me.
I personally bend over backwards to assist my adult dc when they need me just as if they were kids. Isn't that normal? Seems not. Eyes def opened since joined mn!

It isn't about that. It is the idea that the OP can somehow "insist" on their help.

My parents help me out. The difference is I don't insist and I do equal amounts in return for them!

Chienrouge · 22/01/2018 17:18

How do you propose to insist they do it?
If they’re ill they’re ill, they can’t help.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 17:22

Notasperfect

Er most don’t. I help extensively with child care for my grandchildren but if I am ill I am ill.

Insisting someone who is ill takes your child to school is clearly ridiculous

Mogginthemog · 22/01/2018 17:23

Yabu if they’re unwell.
And yes I try to help DD&DSIL as much as I can but if DD knew I was doing so when I wasn’t well instead of resting up she would be really upset unless it was a mega emergency.

homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 17:33

Sorry, insist was such a bad word! I meant ask again kind of hint we really would appreciate it kind of thing. I don't know if they are sick or not, maybe they are. Jacqueshammer I hope you're appreciated, I keep saying when the kids grow up I'm going to help as much as I can! And I think my problem is that because they live in the country and we live in the town we drop over shopping to them when they need it when we weren't dropping over anyway. We've taken their car to the garage and collected it for them, brought them to the doctors, collected prescriptions, brought the sil and bil to work and college, dropped over fuel and when we ask anything and that's so rare, there's hmming and haing and if they do say yes they say 'but it's going to be hard' or 'you know I'm only doing this to help you out and I don't really have time,' or 'I was meant to do x' followed by a 'come on, can we do this quickly'that sort of thing.

OP posts:

Popchyk · 22/01/2018 17:37

Can you borrow their car while they are out of action?

They really shouldn't be going out in their poorly condition, surely?

Thewomeninthemirror · 22/01/2018 17:38

Sorry but it’s your place not theirs to get your children to school.
If you have helped them out before, that’s up to you. Don’t give to receive; it doesn’t work like that!
I live in a very rural village, when my car broke down for a fortnight, I had to cope.
Hire a car or walk, don’t expect other people to drop everything and run around for you.

MarieNostra · 22/01/2018 17:39

Would it be possible to borrow one of their cars and transfer your insurance until your own car is fixed? Or whatever way that works!

If they are sick, surely they won't be going out anywhere!

MarieNostra · 22/01/2018 17:40

X post with popchyk there! Great minds think alike...

stickytoffeevodka · 22/01/2018 17:42

Can't you hire a car? Would be cheaper than a taxi.

homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 17:44

Popchyk MarieNostra will ask!:) Thewomaninthemirror Walking's out, but am looking into hiring a car or getting a taxi

OP posts:

chocatoo · 22/01/2018 17:44

I agree - why can't they loan you a car if they are sick they wont need it!!

expatinscotland · 22/01/2018 17:46

They're ill! Why would you want your kids to catch their illness just because you and your H are too lazy to sort out an alternative? Insist? Be pushy? I'd tell you to go sling your hook if I were your ILs.

expatinscotland · 22/01/2018 17:47

'I agree - why can't they loan you a car if they are sick they wont need it!!'

They may need it in an emergency. It's their car. Insurance. Maybe they don't trust the OP and her lazy h with their car. Unbelievable cheek to expect that, too! FFS there are some CFs out there.

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duffaho · 22/01/2018 17:52

Well if they ask you for help in the future you know what your response will be now dont you?

In your situation I would see how much it would be to hire a car . Taxis would be a big expense for only one return journey each day and you still wouldnt have transport for other reasons. What if one of the DC had an accident and needed to be taken to A&E.
The cost would probably be about the same and you would have the convience of transport no matter what. I wouldnt ask your ils again and would tell them why

homemaker40 · 22/01/2018 17:53

expatinscotland I'm sorry I may have posted too quickly, just freaking out and seeking alternatives really

OP posts:

ArnoldBee · 22/01/2018 17:54

If it's your catchment school my council has a scheme for getting the kids to school if they have to walk on roads without pavements.

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