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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is my Boss being U?

72 replies

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 13:09

We have a new Senior Manager starting in a few months.

I do not like my direct line manager I think she is piss poor at her job, unprofessional, lazy and she likes to “pull rank” and show off her “authority”.

Have a meeting next week to discuss “going forward” with her, my direct line manager and the strategic lead

Meeting was organised over a month ok, I have never met or had any contact with this new Manager.

Yesterday I get an email from my line manager Ccing in the other two managers with a massive list of stuff she wants me to produce on Tuesdays meeting which is impossible for me to do (case studies, Stats, feedback etc) esp including my diary is full for the next few days and I am off ill actually yday and today.

AIBU to be really fucking pissed off that she has just fired off this email with no discussion with me about how she plans on supporting me in caiming up with all this info and what she wants me to not do in order to achieve this impossible task and REALLY fucked off that thisvis the first communication I have had with the new Manager.

OP posts:

moreismore · 19/01/2018 13:11

I’d just reply to all expressing that it would have been helpful to have this list a little sooner. Remind her of your full diary and ask her how she’d like you to prioritise things...

moreismore · 19/01/2018 13:11

Oh and YANBU

arethereanyleftatall · 19/01/2018 13:12

Just email back, copying in everyone:
'I'm afraid there won't be time between now and the meeting to complete this work, alongside my usual work. Which would you prefer me to prioritise?'

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 13:16

Hmm this is what I did and she has now asked to see my at 9:15 Monday morning like a fucking head teacher which I also cannot do

OP posts:

blueshoes · 19/01/2018 13:17

Is 9.15 before office hours. Why can't you do it?

arethereanyleftatall · 19/01/2018 13:19

If you're off sick today, i wouldn't be responding at all.

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 13:19

Because I won’t be on that site I have to be elsewhere meeting a client.

She also saw me on Weds and barely spoke to me and then wrote the email to me after I left, when she could have had a conversation with me about Tuesdays meeting.

She is often stroppy and barely speaks to me or says hello when she sees me in the office.

OP posts:

Hillarious · 19/01/2018 13:20

Turn it round. Be positive and say what you can provide that will be helpful in the meeting. Sometimes people just ask the wrong questions or for the wrong information. This way you can show you're on the ball.

jay55 · 19/01/2018 13:38

Apologise in the meeting that you had such short notice to pull things together given you had client meetings off site.
Makes you manager look a shit manager.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/01/2018 13:39

Agree with hilarious. This is good news for you and is giving you a good opportunity to show yourself in a good light, and her in a not good light.

blueshoes · 19/01/2018 13:39

To the extent you want this to be a support thread, we'd agree with you your boss is unreasonable.

Rising above the pettiness, do you want this toxic relationship to continue along these dysfunctional lines, or whether you could be the more grown up professional person and try a more accommodating tactic. It could be pearls before a swine, I understand.

For example, sending emails, copied to all and sundry, is generally not good. Trying to speak to her face-to-face or on the phone, even if she was rude in the first place with a mass email, is probably more constructive and allows you and her to come to a better understanding of your constraints and reach an agreement (even if that agreement is you cannot provide most of it) without the to-and-fro, impersonality and audience of a group email.

It is frustrating.

blueshoes · 19/01/2018 13:45

Just read the latest posts. Yes, do have that conversation with her about Tuesday's meeting.

I frequently have to pretend to be enthusiastic about people I despise working with and their shit ideas. It is all about playing the game.

starzig · 19/01/2018 13:45

You need to tell them it is too much workload and why. It is management duty yo ensure sufficient staff to complete the task. Also if you don't get it done and didn't forewarne them it was too much then you will be in the wrong.

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 13:46

I do try my best but (in all fairness I have a lot going in at home atm which I do not wish to divulge to my manager) her lack of manners and respect are really grating at the moment.

I have never ever been managed by someone before who refers to me as “a member of MY staff” (I don’t work for her I work for the local authority) and who is a senior manager but does 37 hours over 4 days and has every friday off (she just does not do this I have never in 18 months had an “out of hours” email from her) we get 6 weeks a year holiday yet this year she has already taken 10 with another two to go and is “carrying some over” as she has so much left to take

She constantly tells everyone how many hours she has done which when on a salary of over £37,000 I find incredibly juvenile.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 13:48

I was hoping to make a good impression on the new Manager and have a fresh start but I feel like she has basically pissed all over that in order to exert her authority and make herself look good.

OP posts:

CotswoldStrife · 19/01/2018 13:55

I don't think it was a good idea to send your response to the new boss tbh. She's not started yet so this meeting would have been the ideal opportunity to meet her yet you've made yourself look a bit petty beforehand. I don't have a problem in saying that you are off site for most of those days so won't have a chance to pull much information together, but it would have been better to suggest a way (or someone else) who could have helped with the request at this late stage to give an impression of working towards a solution/compromise.

You clearly loathe your line manager. Don't let your attitude towards her creep in to your dealings with others.

Singlebutmarried · 19/01/2018 13:55

I would go back and say that due to client meeting you can’t attend at 9:15 on Monday morning.

I’d also fire back the list of what she wants you to do, wil a list of your diarised appointments and asks her to prioritise and perhaps suggest that she may be better suited to providing some of the information (as she’s the boss and all that)

And ask for a copy of the meeting agenda.

OlennasWimple · 19/01/2018 14:02

Your manager's hours are none of your business. Her salary likewise is nothing to do with you. And yes, you are a member of "her staff"

She might be a terrible manager, but you are not sounding like a stellar member of staff if your attitude to her spills out in RL, TBH

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 14:05

My managers hours are my business when she goes on about them loudly to all and sundry, takes more leave than she should and lies about it and pulled me up on my leave allowance ccing in senior management when she had misread the staff Internet thing that tells her how much leave I have left.

OP posts:

rookiemere · 19/01/2018 14:17

It's clear you despise her, and to be fair it sounds justified.
However if it's clear to us in a few emails, it's doubtless clear to her as well.
You need to polish your big girl boots and remain strictly professional in all your dealings with her. If anything I'd be a little gushy and overly helpful in emails.

So for the meeting on Tuesday, I'd email her back ccing all saying that despite being ill you're trying to stay on top of all urgent emails. Restate to her that you're at client meetings on Monday so it's just not going to be possible to produce all this data at such short notice. Then provide possible solutions - would she like you to cancel the client meeting or reschedule the meeting ?

Would the data that she's expecting to see be something that you could have reasonably anticipated as a review of your work i.e. something you should have prepared without prompting?

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 14:19

No - it’s not something I would be expected to have.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 14:24

I agree I need do be professional and I do try.

She knows I don’t like her and she has told colleagues the feeling in mutual (even slagged me off to other professionals while on a days training!).

Relationship did not start well as I appealed when I was told I was being moved to her team as from a distance I had seen the way she worked (ego centric, bossy, doesn’t listen and doesn’t know what she is doing), and she is well aware I appealed and failed.

OP posts:

Blackteadrinker77 · 19/01/2018 14:30

I'd email her back saying "No problem"

Who are you sending to meet the client instead and I'll hand over to them?

rookiemere · 19/01/2018 14:39

Actually reading your OP again, I'd be a bit cautious about that meeting and why all those senior people are there and why you have to produce all this information on what you've been doing.

Sounds to me as if she might be looking to do a performance management type meeting in front of everybody rather than agreeing this years priorities and how you'll be working.

Do you have an agenda or outline of the meeting format and what the objectives are?

Original poster

MrsMaxwell · 19/01/2018 14:40

We have been restructured and I have a new post in the new team, it’s just to discuss that.

OP posts:

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