Is my Boss being U?

[MrsMaxwell]

We have a new Senior Manager starting in a few months.

I do not like my direct line manager I think she is piss poor at her job, unprofessional, lazy and she likes to “pull rank” and show off her “authority”.

Have a meeting next week to discuss “going forward” with her, my direct line manager and the strategic lead

Meeting was organised over a month ok, I have never met or had any contact with this new Manager.

Yesterday I get an email from my line manager Ccing in the other two managers with a massive list of stuff she wants me to produce on Tuesdays meeting which is impossible for me to do (case studies, Stats, feedback etc) esp including my diary is full for the next few days and I am off ill actually yday and today.

AIBU to be really fucking pissed off that she has just fired off this email with no discussion with me about how she plans on supporting me in caiming up with all this info and what she wants me to not do in order to achieve this impossible task and REALLY fucked off that thisvis the first communication I have had with the new Manager.

I am dreading going in on Monday

Seriously, you're going to have to find a way of working with her, otherwise your work is going to be affected. If you genuinely feel that her treatment of you amounts to bullying you can bring a grievance against her (my DH works for the Council and is a union rep). But what you've described doesn't sound like that, it sounds like you just rub each other up the wrong way.

She doesn't sound like she's all that good as a manager, as she ought to have checked with you before arranging the time of the meeting. Is it just possible for you to contact her on Monday, asking if the time can be rescheduled? They wouldn't want you to mess a client around after all.

Lizzie I know - for the last 18 months I have just avoided her really but now she will be managing a lot of my colleagues too, two of whom have already left as a direct result.

She isn’t a bully but she is often described as a bull in a china shop and she puts a lot of our partners noses out of joint (I try to keep her away from any relationships I have built).

It's hard OP but you're going to have to try and deal with this positively and professionally. No good will come from trying to undermine her to those that have more dealings with her than you.

Could you start to look for another job?

This one doesn't sound worth the stress. You should not be dreading going in.

You will have to go, do as much as you can between now and then to comply with what she has asked you to do. If that means putting off other work ask her via email which she wants you to prioritise.

This could be the new boss demanding this info without knowing the current work load.

Thing is I really love my job, and have survived 7 years and 5 restructures.

I just hate her and the fact she takes credit for my work and regularly makes out she has “saved” my job etc putting me in the position of having to “thank” her and be “grateful” whereas I have been kept on because I work hard and am actually quite good at what I do.

The additional leave is a HR/ payroll issue - I managed people who took unpaid leave which was known to their manager and HR, but no one else. If this is local authority, her additional leave beyond the contract will be unpaid.

If you really want to wrong foot her and it’s hard to know what your role is, I’d prepare a 100day plan for the new role which sets out objectives, outcomes and how you will achieve them based on your terms of reference/ job description . ( google for examples) and be prepared to present it Monday/Tuesday..

I feel your pain. If you work for a local authority, the total flux of re-organisation upon re-organisation is totally wearing and in my experience counter-productive. The febrile climate in the public sector due to cuts and re-organisations has enabled these type of bullying but inadequate management types to prevail and make working life a misery. You need to be extremely careful here, if you don't want to end up being managed out of your job. You need to come across as helpful and pro-active, maybe agree on Monday what is a priority and agree a timescale for the rest. I speak from a very bitter experience which affected my husband. All the very best, I hope you get it sorted.

Daphne

This is it exactly, been moved from a different “discipline” so to speak and is totally out of her depth and on a massive power trip as has been promoted far higher than she should have been as is managing an entire team now rather than what she did before (ran a youth centre).

I swear down she has some dirt on someone on the senior management team which is why she has the post she does.

In that case, OP, she's in a weak position. Work on strengthening your own and remaining positive and not passive aggressive with comments like "what would you like me to cancel", "how would you like me to prioritise this".

She’s a bully. I’d request a 121 with the new manager, over her head!

the thing is through, you're going to have to suck it up, or leave.

if you are concerned enough about her performance to discuss it with colleagues then you need to go to HR. if it were me, I would keep my thoughts to myself and not be drawn into gossip. she is your manager. if your workload is such that you can't provide all the info for the meeting, you need to re-prioritise, inform your manager and outlining tasks which will need to be put aside for now. invite her to discuss face to face if she has any concerns.

there is nothing to be gained by copying in senior management snarking about your workload. they don't have time to deal with the minutiae of managing people that your actual manager is paid to manage. trust me on this.

so. your choices are to address issues in the way you are managed, preferably with your manager. if you go to HR the snowball will start rolling fairly fast. it will be out of your control. in any case, their first move will be to advise you to meet with your manager with HR present.

or, you can resign. or, you can look elsewhere in your organisation. in either of these scenarios, nobody wants to hear about how much unpaid leave you think your manager takes, or how unfair you think everything is.

or, you can get your game face on and kill with kindness and outstanding performance. micro -manage right back at her, replying to everything, all the time. be exemplary in your conduct. take up roller derby and vent your frustrations, on rollerskates.

ultimately she is your manager. you need to let her manage you. it's tedious and hideous but you just have to roll with it, until you make a decision about your future.

Mrs Maxwell, it's so frustrating that these types get the upper hand. However I bet she's feeling threatened by you and your professionalism, hence making your life difficult. Do not play her game, remain your committed, professional and pleasant self and rise above it. If she is dishing out these unreasonable expectations to you (and probably other staff she manages) it will come to the attention of this new Senior Manager. When we were going through the worst - I tried to comfort my husband by my saying 'Right will out', and in the end it always does. No comfort when you're going through all this, though. My husband got out on a technicality (they did not comply with some professional code of practice) and on this basis he managed to get access to his pension early. I would go through the motions, if I were you, but seriously consider looking for around for other opportunities. Life's too short in the end. Revenge is a dish we have had cold, the two people making my husband's professional life a misery were 'let go' in the end!!! She will get her just deserts, eventually - but you can keep one step ahead of her.

Yes you guys are right - I do need to rise above it.

Maybe I will apologise on Monday somehow.

I get why they want the info but it’s the manner in which it was asked for and the timescale which was really out of order.

It’s impossible to have a conversation with her without it turning into either a conversation about herself or a massive patronising lecture explaining something to me which I already know

It has been good to have a good unguarded bitch about her

She isn’t a bully

I’m afraid she kind of is. You might need to trust me on this – I’ve just finished a project on bullying at work. It’s tricky, because of ACAS descriptions and that, but the pattern of behaviour is something that will be looked at and should be taken seriously. Not least because you’re anxious on a Friday before work on a Monday. You need to pay attention to that.

a massive list of stuff she wants me to produce on Tuesdays meeting which is impossible for me to do (case studies, Stats, feedback etc)

Setting you up to fail, particularly in front of other people, is a form of bullying.

Hmm this is what I did and she has now asked to see my at 9:15 Monday morning like a fucking head teacher which I also cannot do

Again, this makes you seem like the awkward one. Does she know you can’t make that time? It cuts into the time you could be using for the reports at any rate. She’s now asked you for an impossible task and made it more difficult for you to achieve it.

even slagged me off to other professionals while on a days training!

Undermining you to other colleagues is utterly unacceptable. Gossiping about you behind your back is, by pretty much any definition, a form of bullying.

the fact she takes credit for my work and regularly makes out she has “saved” my job etc putting me in the position of having to “thank” her and be “grateful”

Once again, she is undermining you, and this is a big no-no.

Here’s what I’d suggest to you next.

First, and I know this is hard, but you need to drop your thoughts on her hours and salary. That isn’t going to do you any favours any which way. Discussing it on a public forum is really not something you want to do. If possible, get those posts deleted.

Next, keep and file the emails from her relating to both Monday’s and Tuesday’s meetings, and any further mails on those subjects. On the Tuesday one, I would mail back very simply saying that it is not possible to have those reports ready by Tuesday, as there is more than 24 hours’ work to produce them (that bit is important), however, you will be able to ensure everyone concerned has them by X.

If you have a witness to the training gossip thing, note that down.

Finally, for every future transaction with her, make sure you get it in writing. So, on Monday’s meeting, nod as patiently as you can, explain any concerns unemotionally, go back to your desk and put it all in bullet points ‘to be clear’.

Ditto, anything that is said at your desk, in front of other people, etc.

Once you’ve gathered this, if you’re comfortable with the idea and feel that she has crossed a line, either with one specific event or over the course of time, take it to a grievance.

If you’re in a union, see them next week. They’re not going to haul you into anything immediately, but will explain how better to protect you in the workplace.

I’ve been bullied at work before, it got to the stage where I was taking time off work for stress. Please be aware of that and try to get it sorted before you get there.

Good luck.

Thanks Edwardbear

Obviously the other avenues are HR or the counselling service, but I would only use HR as a backstop last resort. If your Local Authority does have a confidential staff counselling service that could be helpful too, just to get your thoughts straight. Just remember, it's not your fault, you are doing a fantastic job, keep being your confident self and don't let her sap your confidence. Although she is your Line Manager I would be extremely circumspect about what you put in writing to her, don't let her have any ammunition.

exWife has given great advice there. Please do not approach the senior manager for a meeting. With respect, that is not a good idea.

Agree not to approach the new senior manager for a meeting - you'll look like a whiner, honestly! Let her find out about the line manager in her own time.

@mrsmaxwell

I don't have much advice (because I left my job!) but I do have plenty of solidarity for you!!

She sounds like my old boss - hideous woman who bullied me out of my job after a returned from mat leave.

I tore the ligaments in my foot, which she knew about, and asked me to do a do a task which requires heavy lifting. I refused. She told me I was "defying management orders". Very often had similar to you - short notice to get tasks done, she was incredibly unprofessional (picked up my 6 week old baby and said "you've seen the inside of your mum's vagina") would slag off other members of the team while they were out of the room, would brag about all the 'extras' she negotiated in her contract, was always over booking her annual leave and never completed a full day in the office...

Good luck with your boss and just cover your back. Make notes of all these incidents, times and dates and witnesses of difficult behaviour etc... She does sound a bit like she's gearing up to something.

My theory is that she feels a bit threatened by me and a bit overwhelmed and she o er compensates by slamming me down and showing off

Ok, EdwardBear, you are right. Looking through your analysis of what's going on, that is bullying. Definitely see your union rep, and discuss bringing a grievance against your line manager. But stop bitching about her hours and her salary, it does undermine your case.

I don’t bitch about it in RL.

If the new senior manager has been in the business long enough, he or she will likely have been forewarned about your boss. Is there a way for you to make yourself indispensable? As in, if you’re the only person who can produce critical data or whenever, when you’re not there, it will become clear that your boss will not cope.
You could also play clever by replying to both your boss and the new big boss, saying that you’ve been checking your emails whilst off sick and just wanted to make them aware that someone else will need to get the info together as you’re currently unwell and likely won’t be in Monday and Tuesday. If it were me, I’d be all nicey nice and go along the lines of, As I’m unwell, I hope that you’ll be able to access the information you asked for easily enough on the X drive or whatever... Make her search for it and realize how long it takes! Ditto the Monday meeting. I’d hate for X to be let down, would you be able to ensure this is covered, pls?

I wonder how the people working for Donald Trump feel ?

Good advice from Edwardbear. Taking it to the union though and starting a case is going to be hard on you though.

I'd totally play this straight, be as helpful as you can in your emails, don't set her up to fail as that is highly likely to backfire.

If she's as incompetent as you think, then it's likely she won't be around for long anyway.