Constant snacking ffs

[anothersuitcase]

So sick of this. My group of friends are obsessed with forcing snacks on their kids, they are literally never allowed to become hungry. I like my kids to feel hungry at mealtimes, and actually want to eat their dinner rather than pick at it. But every time we meet up snacks are produced or bought not even an hour after the last meal. Is it just the people I spend time with or is this the way things are now?

Yes I know you do get kids that need to eat regularly for various reasons, but surely not all kids? Is there actually anything wrong with a rumbling tum, even a bit of a gnawing hunger pang at mealtimes? I know I could tell my kids they can't partake but that is pretty awkward when all the others are tucking in.

I raised this with my friend today and she said something along the lines of this isn't post-war Britain and why deprive them when you don't have to? And I said that's exactly why there is a problem with obesity in children (her kids aren't obese to be fair) Things were slightly strained after that. So who is being unreasonable?

I think you need to feed your children the way you want and leave her to do the same.

Fair point. And like I said this particular friend does not have overweight dc. But others in the group do. The reason I've posted here is because I want to know is this the norm now? Or is it my group of friends? It wasn't a thing when I had my eldest (now 21)

Sorry but I think you are the one being unreasonable. You sound very preachy and a bit neurotic. There's no particular virtue in "gnawing hunger pangs", and children don't become obese because they're given food little and often rather than being allowed to get to the rumbling tummy stage.

I don't think your model of three meals a day and no snacks will do them any harm either. But your attitude worries me a bit.

I'm with you OP, this constant snacking and needing a water bottle at all times really, really itritates me. Absolutely unnecessary and ridiculous.

You can parent how you like, no need to preach.

My children won’t eat their meals if I allow snacks. We have 3 meals a day and that’s plenty.

HOWEVER, unless they are forcing snacks on you or commenting or it is affecting you in any way why judge or criticise? What suits one family doesn’t suit another. Be kind.

God I hate all this judgement of other parents. Boils my blood.

Just do what you feel is right for your child, and let them get on with what they want to do.

You've found your place on mumsnet, where it seems the vast majority don't like snacking. But I snack all the time, eat my meals and have a BMI of 19. My DD also has snacks, eats her meals and has a healthy BMI. Parent how you like, and leave the rest of us to our snacks.

BTW my oldest has Autism and he eats little and often. If I let him get to the gnawing hunger stage, the meltdowns can be so horrific. So no, that technique is not suitable for everyone.

street they aren't technically forcing snacks on my kids but these aren't individual things, they are big sharing bags of little chocolates, multi-packs of crisps, even the healthier(?!) home-made options will be things like a big Tupperware container full of brownies. To pointedly not allow my dc to partake when all the other kids are makes quite a statement.

Just say ‘oh no ta’ when offered. Do you see them every day or just a couple of times a week at meet ups?

I ask because I’ve got friends the same but it’s never been an issue. I literally just go ‘oh no ta’ and that’s that. If my kids really wanted one of whatever it was I might let them have one but I don’t spend every day in their company so it wasn’t an issue.

I think it depends what they're snacking on. I have a friend who carries a Tupperware packed with pre packed stuff. Jelly tots, dried fruit, those biscotti things, some bear fruit thing.. freeze dries fruit. I tend to have a banana or apple in my bag if I've remembered to pack a snack. Who can be arsed buying all these pre packed alien fruit products?!

Snacking in moderation is fine. We love it. But I think the development of the new attitude of "snack when you're bored" is actually the worst of it.

You see it all the time.

Gotta go somewhere where they have to be quiet/might have to be patient: "Bring lots of snacks!"

Not really a healthy attitude towards snacking. And I'm sure it's a big contributor to the obesity in children crisis.

YANBU. I would hate this. Yes it is good for both adults and children to feel properly hungry sometimes; preferably every day.

The problem is when someone fills up on snacks which may be unhealthy; then does not feel hungry for their balanced meal.

I would not consider homemade Brownies to be a healthy option unless they were made with wholemeal flour, less sugar, more nuts.

It's a very British thing and it does my head in. Children don't need crisps and biscuits every single day, and they don't constantly need a water bottle or sippy cup. The French give three meals a day plus an afternoon snack. Unlike British children who are constantly sticky and covered in crumbs. Not to mention mothers who let their kids run around while eating instead of sitting at the table! Drives me nuts when they give their kids those puffy crisps and allow them to spread bits everywhere!

Yes, this annoys me too actually. Particularly as one of my children won't eat lunch / dinner if she's had a load of snacks between meals. I know that I can say no but then I end up with whining from my children and an awkward atmosphere.

snacking is fine.just balanced.if they are hungy why let them have a "rumbling tum" people should eat when hungry just be taught to eat something healthy or small.to be hungry means the body wants food.
to eat in pleasure or when not "hungry" is also ok.someone handing round chocolate and you weren't hungry its ok to take one.
its all in balance.
to deny in hunger I think isn't a good thing.youve got to tach them how to ease it with a little amount or have an apple.
to tast.not stuff the face.
food and eating has become something so far removed from what it should be.your eating to sustain life but it should be a pleasure.not something rigidly planned or dissected,feel bad over.
us and food now is so screwed up

Is it just me or does anyone else think one isn’t actually hungry - at least not enough to need to eat - unless one has a rumbling tum?

I thought the title said smacking. Took me half your post to catch on

I sort of agree and sort of don't agree. If I let my ds get hungry he gets really cranky and bad tempered however he is only 2. When he's older I'll definitely be cutting back on snacks and expecting him to eat his dinner etc.

Particularly as one of my children won't eat lunch / dinner if she's had a load of snacks between meals. I know that I can say no but then I end up with whining from my children and an awkward atmosphere

This is exactly the issue I have.

wanting your kids to feel hungry just sounds a bit "wrong" though.

I never spent that many days in a row out with friends that it would matter to be honest. A day out with snacks then 3 or 4 doing our own thing, without.

I have noticed this at the toddler group we go to: constant snacking. I wasn't being judgemental, I actually started worrying if I was being mean in depriving my son of lots of snacks!

I do find my one year old won't eat his dinner (then wants milk during the night) if we give too many snacks during the afternoon.

But I suppose all children are different.

My children generally have breakfast at 7-ish. They are both toddler/pre school age so are hungry by 10am so they have a snack - fruit or a cereal bar. Nothing more. They have lunch and then the youngest one sleeps. The eldest might have a tiny pot of popcorn/cheesy snacks while we play a game/paint/bake etc but that is it.

While I was pregnant however I think my daughter ate her body weight in fig rolls while I was at various appointments each to their own!