Constant snacking ffs

[anothersuitcase]

So sick of this. My group of friends are obsessed with forcing snacks on their kids, they are literally never allowed to become hungry. I like my kids to feel hungry at mealtimes, and actually want to eat their dinner rather than pick at it. But every time we meet up snacks are produced or bought not even an hour after the last meal. Is it just the people I spend time with or is this the way things are now?

Yes I know you do get kids that need to eat regularly for various reasons, but surely not all kids? Is there actually anything wrong with a rumbling tum, even a bit of a gnawing hunger pang at mealtimes? I know I could tell my kids they can't partake but that is pretty awkward when all the others are tucking in.

I raised this with my friend today and she said something along the lines of this isn't post-war Britain and why deprive them when you don't have to? And I said that's exactly why there is a problem with obesity in children (her kids aren't obese to be fair) Things were slightly strained after that. So who is being unreasonable?

With the swimming, Riding, I think it is because we've been fed all these images of top athletes and Marathon runners and the rest until people start thinking it's not Real Exercise unless you have to have a water bottle to keep you from imminent collapse. It's like buying all the expensive gear for a walk in the woods or a gentle few turns in the slow swimming lane. Amateurism is out these days: you have to take things Seriously.

Also, I was diabetic during pregnancy and to help even out my blood sugar had to eat three small meals a day and at least two snacks. But the small meals really were small - one pot of baked beans and half a piece of toast type thing. And each snack had to be under 100 calories.

That worked fine, but I doubt most people filling their children full of snacks are combining it with appropriately sized meals. I found, from measuring my blood sugar, that the optimum time between eating was three hours, but that assumed I’d had something that gave longer lasting energy such as a bowl of porridge.

I think either extreme is unhealthy. Yes, giving unhealthy snacks ever hour is bad, but so is having a rigid 'only eat 3 times a day' and teaching children to ignore their bodies signals.

I was bought up in a household where meals were at fixed times, but throughout my preteens lunch and dinner were fixed too far apart for me by my mother, and as a result I felt awful most early evenings, and eventually started stealing food which led to a lifetime of unhealthy attitudes to food, secret eating and weight issues.

If someone is offering healthy snacks and appropriate amounts of food all considered together, and the kids aren't overweight, then I don't think snacks are a problem.

I went to school in the 80s, and I remember often being miserably thirsty - I used to drink out of the taps in the lavatories. Access to water bottles seems like an improvement to me.

One of my kids gets easily distracted and often undereats - he needs an occasional snack. The other is food obsessed and it's a struggle to maintain her weight. She doesn't need snacks. It's an individual thing, surely?

I first noticed the water habit in California in 1994. I wasn't aware of anyone carrying water around in the UK - or less precious parts of the USA - at that time. It seemed to be a fashion accessory. They sold little holsters to attach to belts.

Humans aren't gerbils needing drinking stations at primary schools or bottles in their bags. It's obviously good that toddlers get used to water, instead of juice, to quench their thirst. We always used to have a jug of tap water on the table at mealtimes and more during the day if we were thirsty, but this sip, sip, sipping is really unnecessary.

There is no evidence that eating 6 smaller meals a day is healthier for most people than 3 meals a day

My understanding was that it regulates blood sugar levels, improves metabolism and makes people less inclined to overeat as a result of getting really hungry before each meal. It certainly works that way for me, if I don't have a small snack between breakfast and lunch I feel dreadful and if I don't have a snack between lunch and dinner, I end up overeating at dinner time.

Also, a single bottle of water can be refilled at a tap over and over again and last for years, I think you're assuming everyone buys new bottles every single time they fancy a drink. Some people might but I don't know anybody who does this, the people I know just refill the same bottle and take it to work/stick in the bottom of the pram/in the handbag when they're having a shopping day at Westfield etc. Same with a sippy cup, you just refill it. Surely it's ok to use plastic occasionally and then recycle when finished with it?

I think an easy test to see whether a playing child is actually hungry is to ask them if they want to stop what they're doing and go home for a healthy snack. If the answer is no then they clearly aren't hungry enough to need you to produce something. And I say that as a parent of a skinny kid who was a skinny toddler who could always find more interesting things to do than eat. She still didn't die of starvation, she'd just make up for it later.

Currently at the teen stage where my kitchen looks like a plague of locusts have passed through, but because of that early habit she's still eating for hunger, not because it's snack time, or for boredom, or taste.

I don't think I've ever met or heard of an adult who deliberately chose to ignore their body and carry on eating beyond the point of need. In fact I'd say in every case it is not recognising those signs, and continuing to eat. Not feeling full doesn't equate to feeling hungry, and it seems bizarre any parent would choose to encourage this attitude.

YANBU OP. If children are having three meals a day then they don't need CONSTANT snacks too. Nothing wrong with having a treat once in a while, but the majority of children aren't exactly going hungry. It's definitely creating a generation of obese kids. I don't care what anyone says.

I have started letting my kids have a hot school lunch as then I can make them a cold tea when they first get home from school. Otherwise if they have to wait for dinner to be cooked they 'want a snack' and then they do not eat their meal well.

They do have supper - cereal, crumpet, toast etc before bed but with less of the snacks they eat everything now.

I'm with you OP. Mealtimes are for food. There's no need to snack all the time inbetween. When we face this issue with friends we just say 'thanks very much, that's kind, but we don't allow xx to snack between meals'. Simple. They accept it.

YANBU OP.

It can't be good for the teeth either. When my daughter was wearing a brace she was told to avoid snacks for this reason and just eat more at meal times if she was hungry.

I'm really pleased there are people who feel the same as me and I also take on board the other comments, did mean to preach and I'm sure my friends wouldn't describe me in that way. I know everyone is different and some kids really do need more regular sustenance but I have always had set mealtimes and it works for us, if one of my kids hadn't seemed to be getting along with this I would have thought again I guess.

My issue isn't with eating outside of mealtimes (my teens do this all the time as they do a lot of sport) it's the offering of snacks to younger children all the time, without them even asking a lot of the time. Then it becomes a habit and they say they're hungry but I doubt they are or even know how it feels. And yes it's parental choice but when food culture is generally shifting (which is how I view this) I think everyone can show an interest as it effects us all.

Sometimes I think I live on a different planet! I've never seen anyone force feeding snacks to their kids or following them around all the time with snacks in their hand. My son is almost 3 and a healthy weight, I feel balance is the key and some days he has a couple of snacks, some days none. It depends how he is and what we've done that day.

I do feel if you feel so much pressure because other parents choose to give their children snacks and you can't say no to yours then that is more of a parenting issue on your part rather than trying to change other people's choices? Just say "no thanks we don't have snacks as they'd never eat their tea" or whatever.