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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New Car Rage

71 replies

Barmymammy · 12/01/2018 13:46

We've always had our own cars but our circumstances have changed and just having one car seems better. We will have a better, bigger car and less to pay each.

We're on interest free credit but the finance can only be in one name. It's in his name but we're both paying half each.

We went in the other day to see if the car was ready. DH had nipped to the loo, so I spoke to the sales guy. Instead of saying hello etc., he just asked where "Fred" was. When DH returned the sales guy shook his hand and started talking to him. Am I fucking invisible?

The car sales team have named DH as the registered keeper and the final thing that's really pissed me off, is that they arranged three days insurance cover just in his name. Well, I saw red today and asked to be put onto the insurance. When we go to pick up the car, I'm going to make sure I get the handover and DH can sit in the back.

AIBU to think I don't seem to exist?

OP posts:
onlyjustme · 12/01/2018 14:16

YABU!
His name on the finance, he signed everything and therefore presumed his car.
Most people do own a car each...
Why haven't you sorted out your own insurance ???

MickeyLuv · 12/01/2018 14:23

YABU. Things like finance/insurance/registered keeper are always in one name only and as it is your DH's name, they are assuming it is his car.

IHaveBrilloHair · 12/01/2018 14:25

It's because it's his name on it.
My car is in my name so the garage talk to me, and in fact I had amazing service from them when I bought it.

NeverUseThisName · 12/01/2018 14:28

With all the cars we have bought as a couple, the sales people have always referred everything to dh, no matter which name was on the documents.

Certainly makes you feel invisible!

Original poster
Barmymammy · 12/01/2018 14:31

Yet, I traded my car in for £6,000 whereas his car was worth nothing but still everything was directed to DH.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 12/01/2018 14:33

Aye they did that with us when DP and I went to get our last car before this. Ignored me completely and were all over him until he dryly pointed out they may want to actually speak to the person paying for it! (Aye fair point it was both of our money but it was my card used)

Littlebitshort · 12/01/2018 14:33

Why did this ‘interest free credit’ get taken out in your OH name and not yours? If you were that bothered about it why didnt you put your name on everything? The car sales people were dealing with the buyer, which is your husband. If you wanted some attention then why didnt you your’re husband speak up?

Sirzy · 12/01/2018 14:34

You both made the choice to put the car in his name from the garage PoV though so I don’t get the issue? If the finance has been done in your name then the rest would have been in your name.

LEMtheoriginal · 12/01/2018 14:35

I bought DP a van before Xmas. I was negotiating and they guy said "perhaps I should do this with your dp as he will be driving it" so I said..thats fine but I'm paying for it Hmm

peachgreen · 12/01/2018 14:35

YABU in this instance - as far as they're concerned it's his car and they can only deal with him. Given you invested more money you should have put your name on it.

But it is frustrating when people will only speak to a man. Though I have to say I'm experiencing it less and less - in fact we just had builders in and they deferred absolutely everything to me, simply because I'd made initial contact. Even if DH gave them an instruction they would call me to double check!

I'm confused about it having to be in one name though - I'm sure DH and I own a car jointly?

Original poster
Barmymammy · 12/01/2018 14:42

I've been daft in not giving it all a bit more thought, so to some extent I only have myself to blame.

With hindsight, I would have had it all done in my name.

Anyway, regardless, I still felt invisible.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 12/01/2018 14:46

I went by myself to look at new cars, I'm single anyway so of course I was buying it, but if I'd taken a male friend along and they'd directed everything to him I'd be pissed off.

StatisticallyChallenged · 12/01/2018 14:47

I've had this even when the car is going in my name which is even worse. Yes I have a uterus, it doesn't stop me understanding finances or cars you assholes

MadamPatti · 12/01/2018 15:11

Yanbu. My mil had the rage in John Lewis over Christmas. Pil were looking at washing machines and the salesperson directed his attention to fil.

madasamarchhare · 12/01/2018 15:32

I fully agree with you here. I bought an expensive car 2 years ago, paid from my account by transfer, all documents in my name. Guy dealing with sale was fine but he has since left. Every time the car goes in for a service or addblue they ring and always ask for bloody ‘Mr!!!’ No u don’t want Mr you want me. He’s never been back to the garage since so why the bloody hell do they always ask for him!!! Yes it does piss me right off.

bigbluebus · 12/01/2018 15:32

I took my car to the local garage for an MOT the other day. The car is registered in my name, I took it in myself (they drop it back when they've finished). This car has not been in to them before but DH has taken his car in there previously. They send the bill in the post (rural village location - everyone knows everyone!). The bill arrived in the post a few days later ADDRESSED TO DH!. I handed him the bill and told him to go and pay it Grin

Saz1995 · 12/01/2018 15:35

If you put more towards it and got 6000 for your old car, you should be the registered keeper imo. No wonder you saw red, I would too.

TheIcon · 12/01/2018 15:44

I'm a car salesman and nothing is worse than directing your attention to the non buyer. I try and ascertain who the car is for and direct 70% of my attention to them. I direct the other 30% to the person theyre with so as to not shut them out of the conversation. People buy from people and I want them to buy into me as much as the car.

The docs are always going to be in one person's name and it's them the garage will want to speak to.

The insurance thing is daft though, I just give the customer the contact number for the free insurance and they set it up themselves naming whomever they want as additional drivers. Looks like they've tried to save you some work and it's backfired.

Autumnchill · 12/01/2018 15:51

OP how about this one then. Swapped bank accounts last year to M&S. I organised it, I was the primary account holder and husband as second name, spoke to them about first time logging on etc. As part of the offer you got £180 on a gift card, £100 up front and then £10 top up the next 8 months.

Husband came home after the first month and said he had received a text saying the gift card had been topped up. Not me, the primary account holder but the bloke and he went on to receive a further 7 texts. Why M&S, why????

He did like getting that text every month so he could tell me that 'M&S have text him again as the man of the house' in a Me Tarzan, you Jane voice Grin

sucks2bu · 12/01/2018 15:54

When my dh and I went to buy my Mercedes A class as soon as we walked in the salesman welcomed us both warmly. He then asked us which one of us were looking for a car and did we have in mind what we wanted. My husband pointed at me and said "my wife is the one you need to impress as she has the cash!" 😉
If the finance is in his name then it makes sense they will deal with him as he has the authority over the car and not you. Also the car has to be in his name if the finance is as I think that's a legal requirement.
I've bought loads cars before and every salesperson, men & women, are always polite to me and included me in the sales patter even if it's a car for my husband but then I do ask a lot of questions my dh wouldn't think of until we've gone home Grin

Gumbo · 12/01/2018 16:00

This reminds me - I always remember talking to a boat salesman who told me that when couples came in to look at boats he always tried to sell to the women, since the men already knew they wanted to buy a boat, but the women needed convincing!

ninjapants · 12/01/2018 16:10

I've had this in the past but I use it to my advantage as DH is an excellent negotiator. I just tell him what I want and how much I'd like it for and he goes to work on them. Car salesmen are notoriously sexist, just play them at their own game and know your stuff if you are the one buying

Original poster
Barmymammy · 12/01/2018 16:11

Most people do own a car each... Really?

Why haven't you sorted out your own insurance

Car sales usually give you three days insurance, so you can then get home and sort out your own insurance.

OP posts:
Youngmystery · 12/01/2018 16:22

I don't mind salesmen doing this kind of thing when I buy a car. I take along my dad or a man deliberately so they talk while I examine the car for any issues. But I do a better job of checking the car, my dad is better at talking, it works well.

But if I then decide to buy I do expect the situation to reverse as its my purchase.

19lottie82 · 12/01/2018 16:27

I'm confused about it having to be in one name though - I'm sure DH and I own a
car jointly?

If you were to divorce, it would be a joint asset yes.

But in terms of registering the car with the DVLA, there can only be one owner.
If the car was clocked speeding they couldn’t send you a “joint ticket”!

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