To feel so sorry for my DH?

[christmastits]

It's his 30th tomorrow and I had planned to go to a very nice restaurant with 15 of his friends tomorrow as a complete surprise. Over the past 24 hours everyone has cancelled because it's close to Christmas and they're skint :( so it's just going to be me and him and a giant cake I made before people cancelled!

December birthdays suck!

Oh no that's really horrible

I've just booked tickets for Star Wars tomorrow afternoon. That'll be something :)

That’s happened to me loads of times (my bday was on Monday).
I’ve stopped asking friends now.
Just take him out somewhere lovely the two of you.

Oh god, that's shit! No that's really shit! I would never do that to a friend. Too late to cancel the table and have everyone round to yours to make it cheaper?

Ask his family?

People always did the same to me when it was my birthday. It's so shitty and I don't know why grown adults think it's acceptable. probably because they're the same adults who did it as teenagers and their parents let them get away with it

Thing is Christmas is always in December so it’s not people didn’t know it was coming. So to cancel now under the excuse of oh it’s Christmas and I’m skint is pretty bloody rude! When they agreed to it they knew Christmas was coming

Hope you and your dh have a lovely time anyway

We're seeing his family at the weekend. Big meal out planned.

I'll see if people can make a takeaway :)

FFS I hate reading stuff like this. Yes, December is a hard month and yes, you may have outgoings but I find it hard to believe that every single one of those 15 people are skint. Are people unable to put money aside for an upcoming event? The only upside is that it was a surprise and therefore he doesn't know/won't be disappointed. I was going to say not tell him but it may make it worse if he finds out later. Maybe mention it but the day after in a "glad it was just us made it so much better" kind of way.

Problem is very nice restaurants have high prices and people run put of money before Christmas.

That’s so shit. I’d be fucking livid if friends cancelled at such short notice because they ‘were skint’ when they had plenty of notice.

Basically they just mean ‘your birthday isn’t as important as other things in my life’

I have a December birthday and don't bother with friends now. Just DH, DS and I. To tell you the truth my birthdays have always been that shit because they are in December if it was up to me I would not bother.
Last year my MIL was meant to be picking up my present from DH that has been lost in the post for a week and then came to the sorting office, she had agreed to do this as DH was at work and then "forgot" so I had no present from DH. My mum didn't even bother wrapping my present it was just in a carrier bag as she had wrapped so many presents and knew I would not mind .
Christmas cards from some so called good friends just had a extra line saying happy birthday to me so they didn't have to send a birthday card.
My inlaws got me a nail polish set from boots that still had the three for two sticker on and I never wear nail polish.

My brothers did not send me a card
That was the last one in a long line of disappointing birthdays. Can wait for Wednesday which is my birthday

Problem is very nice restaurants have high prices and people run put of money before Christmas.

But Christmas is the same time every year - it's not a surprise. If you know December is tight, don't accept invites to expensive restaurants.

Don't bother with these flakey excuses for mates.

You and your DH should go out for a lovely meal together.

I've never really understood the whole "come celebrate MY birthday and part with YOUR money" thing... I don't understand why you can't do something at your house at a cost to you rather than expect people to shell out.

Very, very rude of them. At least your H doesn’t know his friends did that.

Your star wars plan sounds good, and perhaps he can take some cake to work and/or the visit to family at the weekend.

OP was clear about the plan when she issued the invitation, dragon. People who only wished to attend at someone else’s expense need not have accepted

That's the thing though it is close to Xmas people worrying they havent got enough money for Xmas etc I do feel for your poor dh my ds1 birthday is boxing day !

I don't get the guests paying either, if you invite you stand the cost. It shouldn't cost others to attend a birthday event bar the present and card.

January birthdays are pretty shit as well. I never ask friends to do anything now and don't even mention my birthday to anyone outside my family. Even my parents used to give me joint Christmas/birthday presents and wrap anything for my birthday in bloody Christmas paper. I'm going to take my toddler out somewhere nice for lunch on my birthday as my DH has already said he doesn't want to use a day's holiday for it so soon after Christmas. FFS.

That's a shame. I would tell him what you planned so he knows the efforts you've gone to and knows you tried to do something special for him. It was my 30th last week and I didn't do anything for it, but I was with my DP which was the most important thing, so maybe it will be nice for you to do something together, just you two?

my daughters birthday is on sunday and when it came to her 18th birthday the restaurant that normally charged around 38 for a meal suddenly became the christmas menu at £18 a head and they didnt tell me either so family came for the meal and then found out it was a lot dearer than even i thought it would be, and no choice they were only doing the christmas menu, i was gutted as it meant a lot more expense for everyone

I’ve seen that before on here @Yellow but in my social circles, I’d you go out for a group meal, you all pay your own. If it’s someone’s birthday, theirs gets shared among everyone else, or their partner buys their meal.

Have mince pies, birthday cake mulled wine and beer at yours?

Christmas menu on your birthday is shit too. Especially if there are crackers.