To feel so sorry for my DH?

[christmastits]

It's his 30th tomorrow and I had planned to go to a very nice restaurant with 15 of his friends tomorrow as a complete surprise. Over the past 24 hours everyone has cancelled because it's close to Christmas and they're skint :( so it's just going to be me and him and a giant cake I made before people cancelled!

December birthdays suck!

It's shit op. As pp have said it's not like Christmas comes as a shock. It's an expensive time of year but if you accept an invite for someone's birthday then you put the money aside.

I have a similar problem with my birthday being Valentines day. No one ever wants to go out for dinner as it's usually crap set menus at inflated prices for Valentines. I can't even go away for the weekend with DH as hotel prices are hiked the weekends around my birthday.

Going to see Star Wars and out for dinner with DH sounds like a good alternative. In fact if it were me I'd much prefer that to dinner out with loads of people.

My dd was born on NYE, she hates it now at nearly 11!! Told her come her 18 th she may change her mind!!

If he doesn't know about it no harm done, change the reservation to a cosy meal for two, tell his mates not to let on and meet them for drinks another time.

'Olive do you realise that your suggested model means that people who can’t afford to buy in large quantities of alcohol would simply never be able to celebrate their birthdays?'

Why does the celebration require 'large quantities of alcohol'? Lots of options besides there, mulled wine and mince pies afternoon, bring and share lunch, afternoon tea.

OP that's rubbish for your DH. I'm sure he'll enjoy StarWars though & maybe the two of you can still go to the nice restaurant?

My DS1 has his birthday on 17th December (was 10 days overdue), he'll be 9. So far, it's not been too bad at all. It's usually the last day of school or the day before last, so there is a Christmas party or pantomime happening at school. We usually do birthday parties for him after school one afternoon rather than at a weekend as people's December weekends tend to be booked up. We also don't put a tree up until after his birthday, so that it doesn't get overshadowed. Money can be an issue, we have none this year, but we are printing him a voucher for something he'd like which we can pay for later (football stadium tour) & then giving Christmas presents to each DC. We always go out for a meal, usually with Clubcard vouchers, this year we will invite family but don't know if they'll come. I'm hoping that when he's a grown up, whoever he ends up with will be as considerate as OP in making his day special.

Dd birthday is December. My family never remember and we gave up on parties long ago.

Group meals where you pick the cheapest thing on the menu and then someone suggests splitting the bill including that of the birthday boy/girl are tough. I would suggests drinks at the pub and take the cake.

Another one with a December birthday for partner here. Yup, it sucks. He just wants to go out for a few drinks with friends and even that doesn’t always come off.

It's shit but people are skint in December, they have used up babysitting favours from family for other "dos", and when they accepted, often don't know what other events they'll have going on the have to go to. Plus people get sick and knackered in December.

Change it to at yours, quick message that as everyone has had to cancel for financial reasons, would they like to come to yours instead, perhaps if they would like to bring something for a buffet each? Offer to put sleeping bags in your dcs rooms for any dcs who don't have sitters.

See if you can salvage it.

Should have just had a party at home, much cheaper and people are more likely to turn up. Thats what all of my friends do.

It's wank. The whole world is on an Xmas do. I'm a teacger, so usually too knackered/ I by now to care. You don't even want cake cos you're starting the xmas binge. And it's forgotten in a day. Dh and the kids' bdays last a week!

Perhaps people have lots of “dos” and think money - or illness - seems a better excuse for short notice cancellation than saying they’re fed up with late nights, eating out, being hungover and socialising!

If someone asked me to come celebrate their husband's birthday, and pay for my own meal and drinks, (in addition to getting a gift for him of course!) I would probably refuse

I haven’t received or given a birthday present to a friend since primary school. Or a card. Immediate family only. I’d be pretty upset if they refused to spend £10 on lunch in a pub with me though (they are mostly doctors and city workers so I know they can all afford it, obviously it’s different if people can’t).

Poor excuses all of you.

It's shit. I had somebody cancel for my birthday one year when I used to bother because 'they'd been invited to go somewhere else'

December birthdays are pretty appalling.

"December birthdays are pretty appalling"

Not in my experience.

I love it!

I can't believe all these people who wouldn't celebrate their friend's birthday with them if they had to pay. 'Happy Birthday - now buy me dinner / drinks'.

If I went to someone's birthday in a pub /restaurant I would expect to pay for my own food, and perhaps a share of the birthday boy/girl too. If I was invited to a get together in someone's house, I'd bring wine/cakes, whatever was appropriate. Don't know anyone who would pay for everyone's meals or any anyone who would expect it.

And I'm far from being a student or a twenty something.

Just to clarify it's a group of friends who always get together and no one expects to pay for the birthday person. It's like an unspoken rule that you pay for what you eat with this group of people.

I didn't realise that people expect to be paid for..

I've arranged a takeaway with bring your children if you fancy it incase it's a case of no baby sitters

I was going to suggest inviting people back to yours after star wars for tea and cake.

All the people suggesting mulled wine and mince pies, you’re mistaking a birthday for Christmas.

Cake, prosecco and M&S canapés. Or beer, pork pies and sausages. That’s birthday food.

I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time whatever OP.

YY why are people suggest mince pies and Christmassy things?

It's his birthday. That's the problem with a December birthday - everything is taken over by Christmas. The last thing he'll want is Mince Pies and Christmas drinks!

my birthday is in august so no problem with date, but last year for my 60th i invited my grown up children and a couple of friends, so with my partner and i there were 8 of us, as i work at tgis and get 50% discount i said i would pay for everyones food if they paid for their own drinks, my friends wouldnt let me pay for them, so i had to sneak the money to my sons girlfriend to cover their meals so it looked like everyone was paying for their own, but despite everyone having different priced meals i made it split into 8 as that worked out cheaper for my friends, they were quite happy with this as they didnt know about it

So annoying, my birthday is the end of November before pay day. I had to cancel a meal out when everyone else backed out at the last minute, never arranged anything since apart from doing something with family.

I've been out for lots of birthday meals and unless the birthday person is of an older generation (IE my parents or friends etc) then we have always paid for ourselves. I wouldn't expect anything else tbh.

My birthday was yesterday And I have learnt over the years to forget celebrations as no one ever comes! Enjoy it the two of you /m- December birthdays suck indeed!