To feel so sorry for my DH?

[christmastits]

It's his 30th tomorrow and I had planned to go to a very nice restaurant with 15 of his friends tomorrow as a complete surprise. Over the past 24 hours everyone has cancelled because it's close to Christmas and they're skint :( so it's just going to be me and him and a giant cake I made before people cancelled!

December birthdays suck!

Maybe you could jump out of the cake and surprise him??

If my birthday was in December I would choose another day, in June or July and call it my 'official birthday'. If the Queen can have one so could I.

A January birthday isn’t wonderful either; not as bad as December, but not good.

Are you going to be able to cancel the booking without getting stuck with the bill?

I'm not surprised. I wouldn't have accepted the invitation as can't afford meals out in December but even the whole 'They knew Xmas was coming' doesn't really wash because a lot of people find they also incur expenses above Xmas and don't have the money to spunk on someone's birthday. If you'd wanted folks to come it would have been better to host something that's no cost or low cost to the guests, even a bring and share at home at the weekend.

That is really shit - poor DH. I bet he's done things for plenty of their birthdays, too? The one silver lining here is that it's a surprise so he doesn't need to ever know that people were so useless, but it's still a real shame.

DD2 has a December birthday and we do a day out instead.

I wouldn't have accepted the invitation as can't afford meals out in December

And that would have been fine, of course. If these people had done that at the start then OP would have realised this wasn't the best plan and done something else. But they didn't, they cancelled the day before leaving her with no time to sort out an alternative.

Dh's is the 30th and we plan a week end away for Jan /Feb.
All booked for Feb!!
Can't wait!!

Is it a very expensive place?

That's shit of them tbh, you'd think someone might have suggested something else rather than not celebrating his 30th.

Yeah, it's shit of them, but tbh, it often happens with December birthdays. Would have preferred to have had DD2 another month but, well, didn't get pregnant as easily as first time. If planning anything involving others I'd make sure it was low or no cost to the guests.

Can't you just go to a wetherspoons or something ?? It's the being together that counts.

I wish people wouldn't accept invites, then decide they're too skint to come. I'm skint too, so I politely decline stuff like meals out around this time of year, and usually arrange a get together for drinks at my house instead.

There have been a lot of threads on this theme lately. People are flakey!

danceswithotters

😂😂😂spat my coffee out at that one 😂😂😂

Let's make Shagging In March illegal!

I can't believe people just shrug and say it happens to December birthdays. Of you don't think you can afford it, don't say you will go. It's incredibly rude.

@christmastits

That is a shame, but EVERY one of 15 people cancelled? Every single one? That's very odd.

I agree with the person who said they hate it when people say 'come celebrate MY birthday, but you must pay for your own meal and drinks. And you must buy me a gift of course!'

Could you not have a few nibbles at your house? And a few bottles of wine and some beer?

When I arranged a party at home for my husband, (about 7 years ago,) I invited 25-30 people, and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to pay to celebrate my husband's birthday. I went out and got some bottles of wine, some brandy, some beer, some soda, some mineral water, some rum, and some nibbles.

Could you do something like that? Or as someone said, just get some mulled wine and mince pies.... ?

People may be more likely to come.

I know it's a thing with young college/uni age people with few responsibilities and bills to celebrate someone's birthday by going out and everyone paying for their own. But I think asking actual adults to do this who have bills, mortgage, kids, and financial responsibilities etc, is poor etiquette.

If someone asked me to come celebrate their husband's birthday, and pay for my own meal and drinks, (in addition to getting a gift for him of course!) I would probably refuse.

That’s shit. It happens to me (birthday within the last week). Usually other people with December birthdays are good at not cancelling (my friend came out and partied with me and she’s also a December birthday)

I'm not surprised really, people wont be able to afford £100 or so at this time of the year when they have to buy for immediate family and their partners etc.
Next time suggest going for a quick drink or have a prty at your house, you dont have to go mad, just get some cheap booze in and do a few things to eat. people will come then.

“I've never really understood the whole "come celebrate MY birthday and part with YOUR money" thing... I don't understand why you can't do something at your house at a cost to you rather than expect people to shell out.”

Because you still get a meal out of it?! Do you never go out for dinner normally?

You also get to catch up with friends. It’s a nice excuse to get everyone together.

Don’t understand your attitude at all.

Andrew

Olive do you realise that your suggested model means that people who can’t afford to buy in large quantities of alcohol would simply never be able to celebrate their birthdays?

Sharing the load, ie everyone pays for themselves, means everyone can have a celebration without it turning into a 3 figure expense.

I think you have it the wrong way round. You’re still giving gifts to your adult friends, but refuse to go to a restaurant with them? Forget the gift, put the money towards the meal that you get to eat. Do you really think that adults actually want gifts? They just want to enjoy the company of their friends!

I was a christmas baby. I’ve never had a birthday party, birthday celebration or even a proper birthday present. People just point to my christmas present and say something like, ‘this is for your birthday as well’. I’m just pleased to get a present so I’m not bothered at all.

I never feel like I’m getting any older because my birthday is never mentioned. I was telling my son and his girlfriend something about me being 61 and he told me “you’re 63 mum”. lol. I had to get a calculator out! My husband has no 'christmas baby’ excuse, he’s just not into birthdays either and when someone asked him how old he was and he said he wasn’t sure because it kept changing! We are a right pair.

Hell, every day you’re alive is reason to celebrate.

I hope all these December born people being stiffed by their husbands, mothers, friends siblings are dishing out the same treatment to them on their birthdays.