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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Has anyone ever recognised themselves on AIBU?

65 replies

AuntieAunt · 12/12/2017 23:10

Mumsnet is a secret world where nobody I know admits or talks they're a member/user. I absolutely love reading AIBU or a good 'ld post about CF neighbours/mums/work collegues but I have often wondered if people have sussed out who the op is, or if a post is about them/someone they know?

Sometimes I read a post and think there must be another side to this as someone cant be that much of a CF and i'd love to see a bust up on the playground with some mum accusing another for writing about their kid/life/party on Mn but that wouldn't be very British.. but then again i'm just a nanny and only wave the kids onto the bus during school terms... (I wonder if the mum of the kids I nanny is on here, if so, I need a pay rise )

OP posts:

Ashamedandblamed · 12/12/2017 23:12

I doubt anyone has made a cf post about me I'm afraid. I can only hope to one day achieve official CF status.

On a serious note I was actually wondering about this today. The amount of people who post surely we must all know at least one.

Original poster

AuntieAunt · 12/12/2017 23:22

Not necessarily being written about ourselves (as obviously we're all saints ) but when people moan about their selfish MiL who's not pulling their weight with their Dc even when they live opposite but always helping out XYZ. I wonder if someone can tell who the OP is, and knows more of the story, or goes back to MiL etc. Or when someone is complaining about a teacher for doing XYZ and someone can tell who the mother is etc. This world is small and the UK is even smaller.

I very rarely post, and when I do I try not to include too much detail as i'm petrified something will get back about whoever/whatever i'm posting. I'm desperate to post about the kids I nanny/ask for advice but i'm too bloody scared incase someone susses me out and the mother finds out as obviously I have the best employer and the kids are little angels without any issues

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2017 23:28

I've seen a few obvious fake ones where someone with no posting history comes on to complain about someone in the 'RL', only for someone else with no posting history to find the thread within 10 minutes and pretend to be the person being talked about.

Those threads normally get zapped pretty quickly though.

However, there's been a few over the years where someone has been slagging off a local business/cafe/coffee shop etc and they've had someone tip them off, so they've come on and kicked off a row.

The last one was a seaside ice cream stall, where the owner told a kid to behave, got a load of abuse for it in a local FB group, which then spread to here and kicked off too.

FaFoutis · 12/12/2017 23:30

I have.
I was bound to look down on someone once I saw their house. It was definitely about me from the detail and context. MN told her she should return my coffee invitation and not be silly.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 12/12/2017 23:31

Yup.

I then popped on to the thread and explained myself

OutComeTheWolves · 12/12/2017 23:33

Nope but I often see a thread title and have to click on it just to check it's not about me - they never are though!

DownstairsMixUp · 12/12/2017 23:36

Nope but I wish my mil who I'm no contact with would be more tech savvy as she would love to come in here moaning about me and Dh and I would recognise her right away probably because of the bad typing as she's always drunk

Original poster

AuntieAunt · 12/12/2017 23:50

Worra I must admit I was a long time lurker (probably a couple of years) before I actually joined Mn and i'm petrified of someone recognising me and seeing through my young-rebellious-carefree-nanny/youth worker facade as someone who actually sits on Mn at the weekend.

FaFoutis did she ever return the coffee invitation???

Please Gutsy, how did that pan out long term? Final shots fired? I'm too passive aggressive to actually confront someone

OP posts:

FaFoutis · 12/12/2017 23:53

She did. Her house was fine and I'm the last person to care about how much money someone has anyway.
It made me think about how I come across to others.

BatShite · 12/12/2017 23:55

No. But one of first threads I made on here was about issues with my health visitor. And the health visitor must have been a member/lurker and actually brought up the thread the next day (on yet another unannounced visit, which was one of the things I was complaining about to start with!) which was nice and awkward.

I learned the hard way not to go too much into details, and I now namechange a LOT just incase I am ever recognized.

crunchymint · 12/12/2017 23:57

Yes but everyone told her she YABU. So I was fine with it.

My dad said my mum posts on here a lot, although she says she only posts occasionally. I have never recognised her.

Hippee · 12/12/2017 23:57

A friend of mine, who is a reasonably well-known blogger, has been discussed on here - I don't know if she uses Mumsnet though (she used to, but she has either name-changed or left after getting a big flaming a few years ago). Since there was criticism of her blog on one thread, I haven't raised it with her.

southboundagain · 12/12/2017 23:59

I've never recognised myself on AIBU, but I've had someone I'd just met in a professional context tell me a story about patients being unreasonable...which turned out to be about me...veeery awkward. She had been asked to comment on the safety of what I was asking for but didn't actually meet me in the process, so clearly had no idea it was me. I just stammered out "haha, yeah, people do ask for ridiculous things!"

hungryhippo90 · 13/12/2017 00:07

Ooh I love these type of threads. I'm always shocked I click on threads, and they're never about me. Being socially awkward I do get myself into some pickles!

Littlehenrylee · 13/12/2017 00:08

I assume this is the reason so many name change regularly?

Escapee101 · 13/12/2017 00:09

I did recognise myself, yes.

My now abusive ex had been posting weird threads about me (attacking his spots) and generally being unpleasant to women on here.

I made a thread of my own once I clocked it, essentially calling him out.

I asked for it to be deleted though. For one it turned not in to a big troll hunting party, and two of put down my plans for leaving while upset and not really thinking about it.

Turned out alright in the end, much happier now.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 13/12/2017 00:09

Did she know it was you, BatShite?

There was a great thread on here a while ago about a woman who'd ordered a cake for her child's b.day from some woman's website, and the (expensive) cake she got was totally different and shit.

It turned out shit-baking person had put up pictures from someone else's website (up in Scotland, if I remember correctly) and that person recognised her own cakes.
I think loads of posters started ordering the gorgeous cakes, and the shit-baking woman got a storm of trouble and bad publicity.
It was quite a satisfying thread, even though I never got to eat any cake.

Moanaohnana · 13/12/2017 00:12

I have recognised two people on here and them shamelessly looked up all their other threads to nosy into their business

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 13/12/2017 00:12

Never recognised myself thankfully but I'm careful enough about what I post. You say the U.K. is small, well Ireland is a lot smaller! I switch between a few different names every so often and I'm careful about details.

You could post Op but change certain details like age, gender, location, friend instead of SIL, happened last week in the park rather than yesterday at soft play. Details that don't actually change the issue you're posting about and wouldn't influence responses but would make you more difficult to recognise. Or maybe I'm just paranoid!

crunchymint · 13/12/2017 00:12

Also recognised a friend because she shared an anecdote here, that she had told me a few days before.

Mxyzptlk · 13/12/2017 00:14

I'm astonished by the amount of detail given in some posts.

Original poster

AuntieAunt · 13/12/2017 00:16

batshite That's the kind of luck I have. I used to have what I thought was an anonymous blog which followed my weight loss journey when I was 17. I literally had about 12 followers, and was one of thousands who had one of these blogs on an unknown blogging platform. Yep someone had found me (and I didn't upload pictures of my face) but I did upload a topless but blurred out picture which circled my college year. Even now I think what was the chance of someone just stumbling on my blog... But I learnt my lesson that nothing is anonymous on the internet and only post what you'd be happy showing the world who knows you.

OP posts:

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 13/12/2017 00:17

People insist on believing MN is their "safe space" Mxyzptlk despite all evidence to the contrary and the fact that it's the internet

Sashkin · 13/12/2017 00:18

The flexi time CF has apparently popped up on that thread.

I’ve seen a few parking ones where neighbours (but not the guilty parker) have recognised the OP’s house. There was some Zoopla-stalking on one thread too.

There was one CF thread where the OP’s non-CF friends recognised her (I think it was the “can you miss your own birthday party and babysit my kids instead, because I want to have sex with my new partner” CF)

MiltonTheCockroach · 13/12/2017 00:20

Yes.

On more than one occasion.

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