Has anyone ever recognised themselves on AIBU?

[AuntieAunt]

Mumsnet is a secret world where nobody I know admits or talks they're a member/user. I absolutely love reading AIBU or a good 'ld post about CF neighbours/mums/work collegues but I have often wondered if people have sussed out who the op is, or if a post is about them/someone they know?

Sometimes I read a post and think there must be another side to this as someone cant be that much of a CF and i'd love to see a bust up on the playground with some mum accusing another for writing about their kid/life/party on Mn but that wouldn't be very British.. but then again i'm just a nanny and only wave the kids onto the bus during school terms... (I wonder if the mum of the kids I nanny is on here, if so, I need a pay rise )

keepservingthedrinks didn't you hear it was a troll!! I'm never up with the Mn drama but that's one story I know about!! Yeah she admitted that she was the good cake baker, but she was bored, created 5 accounts, pulled the shit cake off the internet, somewhat lead people to the good cake fb page and then after 4 threads she admitted she was a troll. Some people had a laugh about it as she did get ridiculous (I think she started putting 'updates' and they really got unbelievable) just to see how far she could go and keep people hooked. I must admit, I did follow that thread for a few nights, and I was on holiday at the time

No. But weirdly I think I’d feel like I’d made it in life if someone wrote a thread about me.

That’s quite sad of me isn’t it.

Amazed that a country with what, 60+million inhabitants would mean a poster on a website could be identified.

Riddle me that now!

Doesn't seem to happen in my part of the world with 1/20th the population. And we have similar boards here too. But no angst about identification as it is anonymous. As I thought here was too. Oops.

I really do not get that. Sorry folks.

Explain please!

I've not recognised myself on AIBU but my sister is on here and posts about family stuff. She's either not posted for a while or has NC.

I spotted someone else ranting about our school. I'm a governor though so had to sit on my hands. She was being completely U and was told.

I've been outed a couple of times with AIBU's about other people, not for a good few years now though, and not in this name.

Because I lost all my friends.

(Sort of true, I lived in an area that elicited a fair few AIBU, (they were BTW, top bunch of cunts) I moved and am a lot calmer)).

(Hi if you're watching, you're still top cunts).

cathy just think of the 6 degrees of separation...

madame as I said on the first page I am fairly passive aggressive so I would have nc and posted some home truths.

HairyHands sounds stressful! When I see people post about their friendship circles I do wonder as it must be fairly telling as at least one person in that friendship circle must be on here..

It was a strange place I lived though, populated with the worst people you could possibly imagine, I still have revenge fantasies.

Not bad ones mind, comical. Mostly.

I've lived in a few areas that have some awful people. It only takes a few bad apples..

Not too stressful Auntie, it all comes out in the wash ultimately, if it wasn't here it would have been somewhere else.

I've been around for nearly 12 years now, don't post as much as I used to but it's a good place on the whole.

It's one of the positive women's places I've found on the internet.

I do find the amount of interconnectivity we live with these days a little galling. Privacy ain't what it used to be!

Someone was saying to me the other day that their friend "figured out" they were a member here because the someone had mentioned something that had been a thread on here the day before. They aren't I had been talking to them about it

I am fairly certain I was described as a weak non-supportive friend/bystander on a very one-sided AIBU thread. The OP eventually lost her position and we all got the passive-aggressive facebook posts about true friends. I saw this person recently whilst in the company of the post's main protagonist. Happy days.

I've never recognised myself, although I read some thread titles and have to check it's not me all the time occasionally

12 years?! Bloody hell, Facebook was just about getting to the UK then.
It's late, I feel like making myself a hot chocolate and snuggling down for a story on 'what it used to be like back in the day'.

I don't have kids myself, and I don't have a partner either (I'm somewhat having the quarter life crisis and work as a nanny) and I felt like I know so much by reading peoples' experiences on here. I've learned about financial/emotional abuse, red flags, the type of guys/people I should avoid and bunch of other life lessons I don't seem to get from other twenty somethings.

Well it was all fields and hilarity obviously Auntie, with no bitchiness EVA.

There was a nice thing people did with tea-trays though, not sure if anyone will remember it, bit it was a tea-tray comp where you had to put your best 'tea-tray' with cakes and all, out for you guests.

And then there were Mouldies, which was fun, which was fun but brutal. That fucked many family Christmas', such was the vitriol and agog lurking.

But yes, it's a great place to come and learn things, there are many knowledgeable women on the boards.

And there's still humour and a good story to be found.

Auntie may well not have been her, just sprang to mind as I was reading it earlier.

I know some people’s DH’s have posted on threads about themselves, but I assume the OP showed them the thread rather than the DH being an avid mumsnetter as well.

I've thought a few might be about me, although I think I'm the only one of my friend group on here atm. I've occasionally wondered if I'm reading about friends, too.

The thread that really brought it home for me was the Nicholas and Caroline parking thread. 2 neighbours came on to say they knew the house/who/where based on the descriptions given. It's a small world after all!!

Yes. Someone posted that when I was at the school gates I was all a happy 'do you want an ice cream' Mum. But then she saw me in a supermarket telling my five year old to stop wasting my time 'In an age inappropriate way' and wondering if she should call social service.

What she failed to mention was that I had one 6 month old twin in a front sling and the other in a single pram. My 5 year old was sitting on the floor in front of the pram pushing it back so I couldn't move, but I couldn't physically bend down and move him because of the sling so was having to try and reason with him to move away because he was wasting time, which isn't easy with a five year old. But I was calm if exasperated and didn't raise my voice. She just literally thought saying 'Stop wasting my time' to a five year old messing about was wrong.

It's interesting what people leave out to get the answers they want, like the fact I had baby twins and was a bit incapacitated.

Cathy there are millions of people in the U.K. but they aren’t all on MN.

MN is self selecting but it’s demographics is (mostly) women with children. So that cuts out millions and millions of people.

Posting personal info cuts it down again.

Eg. I have twins. Only 1 in every 80 births are twins so again that dramatically cuts down the numbers of potential people.

My twins are 10 years old. So that narrows it down much further.

I have boy girl twins which cuts it down again.

So now we aren’t taking about millions anymore, we’re possibly talking about thousands.

So if over the course of a few threads I happen to mention that I live in a particular county, or mention eg that my DD is a talented gymnast, DS plays grade 8 piano, I’m a red head and that we went to Paris at half term suddenly it becomes really easy for someone who knows the family to confirm that it’s us.

I’d still be “anonymous” to most people but not to anyone who thought they recognised a scenario and decided to spend five minutes checking.

People don’t deliberately give away lots of personal details but if you are on MN for years without name changing a quick advanced search picks up lots and lots of info.

People regularly contribute to threads giving their age, their car, their profession, describing their homes, their tattoos etc etc etc.

If you name change regularly you might still be identified but at least they can’t trawl through years of posts not all of which you might want discussed at the school gate.

MN isn’t private. It isn’t really anonymous.

I haven't found a thread about me, yet!

But I do remember a thread not very long ago in AIBU entitled 'To think cats can't"stand"' The OPs sister recognised her.

AFAIK no. Ive recently had a Reddit thread started about me under my MN username though.

I have yet to recognise myself...

but then again, I'm a bit thick so it's entirely possible someone's posted about me and I've not realised.

There was a thread, well back in my lurking days, where a poster had a thread about how her DH was driving her up the wall with a few tics/habits and she just needed to vent before she ripped his face off and stuffed it up his arse. Her MIL recognised her.
It went down.

sister I would LOVE to read that thread!

There was a series of threads by a woman whose husband had had the ultimate "mid life crisis" and buggered off with OW and he was being an utter shit about the OP and their son who had additional needs.
She sounded a really decent woman, not hysterical about her husband leaving her, just wanted what was best for her son.
Her ex (and possibly the owner too) turned up on one of her threads, and posted his "defence"

He got his arse handed to him on a plate.