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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit anal about car seats?

66 replies

Chocwocdoodah · 10/12/2017 21:27

I’m often asked to give other parents’ kids lifts. Or other parents offer to take my children places in their car. But I always feel a bit of a prat asking if I can borrow an extra seat for their kid/ offer to lend mine if they’re driving my kid. I’m often met with a surprised reaction.

I just don’t feel comfortable with my child not being properly restrained in someone else’s car or driving an unrestrained child in my car. Not to mention, you can get fined for it. I feel really anxious when a situation like this comes up as I feel like the car seat police.

Just me?

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 10/12/2017 21:29

Depends. If they're under the height limit then YANBU, how old are the kids?

PrincessoftheSea · 10/12/2017 21:31

I am also part of the car seat police brigade

mustbemad17 · 10/12/2017 21:32

Nope, i am the same. I actually freak myself out right now thinking about a car seat for the baby i'm currently carrying - the mothercare lady clearly thought i was bonkers.

I'm lucky in that I have two full sized boosters in my car, in case we have guests. A friend once took DD out in a bloody small booster polystyrene crappy thing, i nearly had heart failure

CappuccinoCake · 10/12/2017 21:32

Depends on age and height. My 8 year old is over 135cm so doesn't need one. I always use a booster for other kids (over 125) or a high backed booster for younger ones tho ugh

I don't know anyone who wouldn't tbh. Isn't it illegal?

Ylvamoon · 10/12/2017 21:33

The law requires all children travelling in the front or rear seat of any car, van or goods vehicle must use the correct child car seat until they are either 135 cm in height or 12 years old (which ever they reach first). After this they must use an adult seat belt.
^
That's your answer!

formerbabe · 10/12/2017 21:33

Not to mention, you can get fined for it

Read up on the law regarding it.

Sunshinegirl82 · 10/12/2017 21:33

If the DC need to be in car seats then YNBU at all. Could you stretch to buying a spare for your own car to avoid asking? Might just make life easier. You could then just send your own seat when your child is taken by another parent?

CappuccinoCake · 10/12/2017 21:34

We have an extra one in our car (as eldest grew out of them - so have a spare low booster and hbb.)

Marcine · 10/12/2017 21:35

What age are you talking about? From 5ish I was happy to just use a booster cushion for short trips.

ginteresting · 10/12/2017 21:37

Yanbu and No, I’m not an anxious parent at all. Car seats are easily transferable and take 5 minutes to fasten in at most. Don’t think you’re being arsey, most parents I know feel the same way if your asked to take a child say yeah no probs can I use their seat. If they take yours ‘il drop their seat off’ end of.

GladAllOver · 10/12/2017 21:37

Bollocks to the fine! That's just a few quid.
The safety of the child is far more important, especially in the present road conditions.

Original poster
Chocwocdoodah · 10/12/2017 21:40

DD and her friends are 7 so they all need one.

As an example, the first time this came up, a Mum I’m really friendly with asked at the end of a party if I could take her and her DD home. I said I’d happily do so but couldn’t as I had no extra seat. She replied “ oh that’s fine, she can go in the back with a seatbelt”. And I was really annoyed at myself because I went along with it even though I didn’t want to as I couldn’t bring myself to say it’s unsafe and illegal. I think it’s because by saying that, it’s like I’m making a judgement of the other person’s parenting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocwocdoodah · 10/12/2017 21:42

Well yes I agree re “bollocks to the fine”, I just thought it might come across as a less judgey reason for not doing it.

OP posts:
Afreshturkeyplease · 10/12/2017 21:42

Im like this too

When my eldest was 8 he was under 135, his friend even smaller. I made him take a seat with him in their car with another boy also shorter than mine. My ds was the only one using a seat.

Some people are too lax.

TabbyMumz · 10/12/2017 21:42

Mustbemad....it depends on whether the booster your friend used got your daughter to the required height for the seat belt to sit properly or not. If it did, it was probably perfectly legal. I'm all for following the rules but you do get over it a bit when children grow and don't need a seat at all.

formerbabe · 10/12/2017 21:44

Apparently if a child is over the age of 3 they can travel in a car without a car seat but wearing a seatbelt for an unexpected or short journey...don't quote me though but it's something like that.

Afreshturkeyplease · 10/12/2017 21:46

I think its in an emergency isnt it?

Original poster
Chocwocdoodah · 10/12/2017 21:46

Former, I think it’s only if the journey is “short, unexpected and necessary” - ie an emergency. See, I am the car seat police...

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 10/12/2017 21:46

Tabby legal or not I don't like the small booster seats, DD has a high back seat & this gets handed over with her. Had I known she would be going in the car (which I didn't at the time) i'd have put hers in.

The new baby is having a car seat that goes from birth to 12 years. Each to their own but imo better safe than sorry!!

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 10/12/2017 21:47

I knew they'd be 7/8yo. It happens a lot at that age, loads of people just don't bother. It's ridiculous.

Definitely NBU to refuse to give a lift without a car seat.

ginteresting · 10/12/2017 21:48

Well technically, like taxis they don’t need one for one off short trips. But, I also agree what is the logic? car crashes aren’t always on motorways. In that situation, she took the risk with her child, that’s her choice. I would prefer a seat for mine but that’s my choice.

formerbabe · 10/12/2017 21:50

Just checked, yes, you're right...the journey must be short, unexpected and necessary.

I wonder how you define short and necessary...

TabbyMumz · 10/12/2017 21:51

Mustbemad...your child may be too tall to be in a car seat at age 12. My child is 12 now and has been too tall for car seats for quite a few years now.

CappuccinoCake · 10/12/2017 21:52

Mine is 8 and over 135, are you sure the others weren't? At 7/8 a low booster is perfectly fine for occasional journeys (hence we have one for taking friends.)

My 6 year old has a hbb and we have a spare for her friends too.

mustbemad17 · 10/12/2017 21:53

When she reaches the height to no longer need one that's fine. But until then i'd rather she was in a high backed booster.

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