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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Keeping DD off school today

54 replies

sunnysunchild · 22/11/2017 17:50

Mainly because:
She got her 2nd period (shes 12) her 1st one was months ago at start of summer hols..
She has a bit of a snotty cold.
And
She had swimming at school today with a male teacher and although that bothers me less these days..I really felt for her.
I did say to her that she needs to be able to cope with this if it starts coming every month, cos she couldn't take a day off school every month.
We had a lazy day watching a movie and chatting.
What would you have done? Have I set a precedent? I want to make it easy for her cos my mum was awful....

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 22/11/2017 17:52

I would have sent her in with a note to say she can't do swimming.

Unless she was in a lot of pain, then I would have kept her off.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 22/11/2017 17:52

I would and have done (many years ago) the same. Glad you had a lovely day...wait for the you have ruined her education with one day off comments...

stopbeingadramallama · 22/11/2017 17:52

I’m sure if you wrote a note she could have got out of swimming.

I would have gave her some paracetamol and sent her in.

Stompythedinosaur · 22/11/2017 17:52

Sorry, but I would have sent her in with a note for the teacher re swimming.

There's no harm done, but it may be difficult next month when she wants another day off.

PotteringAlong · 22/11/2017 17:54

I'd have sent her into school with a note for swimming and given her the message that periods are normal, not an illness to be hidden at home with...

You can make life easy for her, but that doesn't mean it's the best thing to do.

MsMarvel · 22/11/2017 17:55

For the first year or so for my period I got one day off school each time it started. As a comfy day, with blankets and hot water bottles. I did used to get very bad cramps though and would often end up in the school medical room in pain on subsequent days.

I love my mum for these treat days though, and it had zero effect on my good grades/attitude in school/ability.

Itchytights · 22/11/2017 17:56

Of course you did the right thing.

Sooooo much obsession with attendance.

It's quite bonkers really.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 22/11/2017 17:59

Didn't take long

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 22/11/2017 17:59

Yanbu
She's 12, she has years of sucking it up and dealing with her periods. One day won't lead to a life of truancy

Original poster

sunnysunchild · 22/11/2017 18:04

I felt sorry for her.
God some of you are so hard!

OP posts:

Iloveanimals · 22/11/2017 18:28

I'd have kept her off. 12 is hard to deal with this. Particularly if she gets them very heavy.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 22/11/2017 18:34

I wish my parents had done this for me. Periods when you are not used to them can be quite traumatic especially having to deal with school and especially school swimming and I think as adults it's easy to forget that.

TheFairyCaravan · 22/11/2017 18:39

I'd have kept her home too.

You haven't set a precedent where she will think she can take a day off every month for the next 40years. She's not going to fail her GCSEs, and she's not going to think that periods should be hidden away either. She's just going to know that her mum is onside, thinks about her health and wellbeing completely and will remember she had a nice, relaxing day.

Oh, and I'm glad periods aren't an illness for some of you, mine make me feel fecking awful

waitingforlifetostart · 22/11/2017 19:04

Eh! What do you think swimming club children do? Definitely wouldn't have kept her off.

Sunshineface123 · 22/11/2017 19:06

Yeah I’d have kept her off if I didn’t have work. It’s only one day and periods take a bit of getting used to. Sounds like a lovely bonding day for you both.

Pengggwn · 22/11/2017 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 22/11/2017 19:22

I would like to say that what you did was wrong and I would have sent in in regardless blah blah blah BUT I have pretty easy periods and always have and I still bloody hate them! If I could throw a sicky once a month for compensation then I would. I would probably melt like butter in the microwave if DD was to ask me for a day off too!

3littlebadgers · 22/11/2017 19:25

You sound like a lovely mum.

I'm 37 and it was the first day of this period today. I struggled at work, a mixture of the pain and flow. Being snuggled up in a blanket would have been perfect
(I'm a teacher)

Unicorn81 · 22/11/2017 19:31

Wish my mum was like you! I was packed off to school with migraines, puking, the lot!

RavingRoo · 22/11/2017 19:43

No. I get really painful periods, have done since I was 9, and wouldn’t have kept her home from school the whole day. I would have just sent her a note for swimming. Period pain is horrible but unless she has been medically signed off it is bad precedent to keep her off. Schools and workplaces won’t.

BakedBeans47 · 22/11/2017 19:44

As a one off I think it’s fine, so long as she knows it won’t be happening every time c

melj1213 · 22/11/2017 19:48

I think that considering this was only her second ever period, and her first one during term time, YANBU to let her have the day off to get used to things but I'd be making it clear it wasn't going to be a regular thing every month.

When DD starts her periods I will be expecting her to go to school unless it is causing significant enough pain/cramps/discomfort to require the day off. I want her to feel like she can talk to me about it and that I'll be understanding if she needs a day off/a note excusing her from swimming or something but I also don't want her thinking that she can get days off every month just by saying she has her period.

pickleface · 22/11/2017 19:49

I wish my mum would have done this. I used to commit with pain and bled everywhere. Took myself home on many occasion in agony.

Flicketyflack · 22/11/2017 19:49

Of course you did the right thing, you are her Mum!

Don’t seek the opinions of strangers, mn, trust your own judgement!

It was kind & thoughtful.

I have done similar with my children 😉

givemestrengthorgin · 22/11/2017 19:54

I think what you did was lovely. I'm sure it won't set a precedent for future. And your daughter will have appreciated it.

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