Regarding stepson and Christmas present

[Valderal]

I think I am btw but would just like clarification or indeed suggestions as to an alternative

Dss 10yrs lives here for one week and at mum's for one week. This has been the case for 4 years now.

For clarity, we get on very well, I am friends of sorts with his mum and we keep in contact (all 4 adults) regarding his schooling, upbringing and clubs/events.

My problem is Christmas. Eldest dss would like something which will cost us £300 and then there is the games etc which cost £50 a piece.
His mum has just confirmed this morning that she has already bought this which is fine.

So bearing in mind we have another 2 dss and my daughter to buy for, would I be unreasonable in saying to dss that as he already has this at mum's can he suggest something else he might like?

1. Because if he already opens it at mum's on Christmas morning then the excitement has gone perhaps
2. Does a 10 yr old boy really need 2 of these consoles?

Worth noting that mum doesn't allow him to take things from hers to ours. Everything of theirs stays in her house.

Should we look at getting something else despite him asking for this for our house?
He won't know at this stage that he will have it at mum's

Terrible presentation of this post. I apologise. I am on my phone and it doesn't seem to like paragraphs!

Ds has a console at his dad's and a computer with me. Two of the same thing is a waste.

Could you get a reconditioned one for your house if he's not allowed to take it between houses

He doesnt need 2. Get him something different.

I think that's alot to spend on a kid at Christmas for one household let alone 2

He has a PS4 here already and a tablet.

He only got the PS4 last year.

I think it's just too extravagant knowing he will already have one at mums.

No he doesn't need twi, can you get him some games for it, or something else!

All 3x ds had every console every created at df (Disney fathers) but never expected to have the same at my house. Your dss shouldn't either.

It is a lot. Especially considering there are another 3 kids.
And we're struggling tbh.

I find it difficult managing the expectations.

I agree. I would steer away from consoles - he has more than enough.

He doesn't need 2 but if he's a gamer he will miss not having it. Buy a second hand one from game or cex but if you can't afford it then he can't have it simple as that.

I would go with a reconditioned one. As he spends a week with you he will want to play the games at yours.Seems a shame his Mum won't let him bring it with him. Or you could buy a different one for the whole family and get him something different.

Good idea about the games. Aeroflot, I could get him a game and be the better person and even allow him to take it to his mum's ha!

Two would be ridiculous.

Assuming it's a switch, just buy a game, or case or something for it. Or anything that isn't a double of the console.

I'm sure even he wouldn't dream of you buying it too, if he know his mother had.

Or has she told him too?

No way. I'd get him a game for the PS4 to keep at yours and a game for the new console to keep at his mums. There's no way he'd be getting two consoles though! For reference, my DS (only child) wants a new console (I'm guessing poss the same one) and we are paying half of it, he's saved for the rest. We'll add a couple of games but the console itself is too much!

If he's got a PS4 at yours he definitely doesn't need another one. He'll have a console at each house, that's more than enough.

Could you buy a "family" one, for all 4 children to share?

Is it that he expects to have 2 of the same console or just that he was hedging his bets asking both parents!!
On the other hand though , it is really hard on him expecting to be without half his stuff 50% of the time.He did not ask to be put in this situation

r, would I be unreasonable in saying to dss that as he already has this at mum's can he suggest something else he might like?

Give that you's said he doesn't know his mum is getting it, then yes you would be unreasonable to tell him and spoil the surprise. Get him a game and an accessory for it.

Firecracker, yes that's my point. He did not ask for this but if he has an alternative at dads house then why should we duplicate everything on his request.

He often talks about something for mum's and something for dads. It's not our rule that he can't take things between houses, we just ask him to ask him mum next time if it ever crops up.

I don't want to have to compete with their ability to spend loads each year on the newest and upcoming things.

hotbutter I figured someone would pick up on that.

Obviously I wouldn't ruin the surprise. It would be more along the lines of....if it's on both lists then FC would only get one, so he would need to out something else on his list that he could have at the other house.

Your dss will now have 2 consoles anyway. Just two different ones. That’s plenty plenty, surely?

He has a PS4 at your house. That should suffice.

Stick to your means.

he wants an alternative at his Dad house... ... no chance.. this is unfair on all the other kids...

His mother is the unreasonable one for not letting him take his possessions to his father's. Can't you offer to go halves with her on the console on the condition that it moves with him?

I imagine all the people here saying two consoles is ridiculous would change their tune if someone took their phone/tablet/laptop away from them every other week.