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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a carer for depression

102 replies

mallardduckponds · 09/11/2017 15:56

Can you do this? Someone to help prompt showers and other self care, maybe go on a walk with you and so on?

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 09/11/2017 15:57

I don't see why not. Some people have carers for companionship so it's similar really

ButchyRestingFace · 09/11/2017 15:58

Do you mean a state funded one?

If you are self funding, I imagine you could employ someone to do those things.

millifiori · 09/11/2017 15:59

Why not? Good idea. It is a debilitating illness that makes you struggle to cope with the basics of life.

mustbemad17 · 09/11/2017 15:59

A PA would be more what you need I think. Think it would have to be self funded tho x

MrsJayy · 09/11/2017 15:59

You most certainly could employ a carer have you spoken to your Gp or CPN if you are struggiling ? I know of 1 person who had a care package when they were going through a crisis due totheir mental illness.

Original poster
mallardduckponds · 09/11/2017 16:00

Don't have a CPN but it would be self funded. Would only need maybe 2 hours or so.

OP posts:
Bunchofdaffodils · 09/11/2017 16:01

Great idea. For people without a supportive partner that would be ideal. Maybe contact an elderly care agency and see if they can sign post you to any that cater for this need.

Justbookedasummmerholiday · 09/11/2017 16:01

I am a cleaner but have had a 'job' watching a film and going for a coffee with a man with social anxiety issues.
There are many sympathetic people op who are there for others when necessary.

MrsJayy · 09/11/2017 16:02

Would you be able to pay somebody ? You could contact local care companies to discuss what you need,

mustbemad17 · 09/11/2017 16:08

If it's self funded the possibilites are endless. Local care companies would be able to help; we had a lady that we literally went to for company three times a week. I do know it can be exceptionally tricky to get this sort of care funded by the state sadly

Original poster
mallardduckponds · 09/11/2017 16:10

I understand that as some people genuinely can't physically do some stuff but I find it so hard to go out alone. If someone had a walk with me once a day it would make such a difference.

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/11/2017 16:11

Sounds like a great idea.

Needadvicetoleave · 09/11/2017 16:12

Unless self funding (in which case, off you go!) you would need an assessment from adult social care, and if you met the eligibility criteria set out in the Care Act 2015 then you would be eligible to have a carer to meet the needs assessed as eligible, if these are personal care, social support then you could have a care plan commissioned for you. The support would be means tested and could be delivered as a direct payment (where you could employ a PA) or commissioned care, where the local authority would commission a care agency to do it.

Prusik · 09/11/2017 16:13

At my worst I went to stay with my parents (my partner sent me to my parents). My step dad (mum was at work) would tell me when to get up, when to showe, when to eat/drink, when to dress. I was literally a zombie other than that.

mustbemad17 · 09/11/2017 16:15

Maybe have a look for a PA, you can tailor things around you then 🙂

UnbornMortificado · 09/11/2017 16:16

My gran self funds a cleaner who does one hour cleaning and two hours just company really. She's a saint, if on the off chance your in the north east I can pass on her details.

Original poster
mallardduckponds · 09/11/2017 16:17

A PA would need more hours though surely ... most people
Wouldn't be willing to work maybe 12-2 5 days a week?

OP posts:
frumpety · 09/11/2017 16:21

There may actually be services available who would be willing to help you with this in your local area , have a look online at the living well project , some areas seem to focus on the elderly , but in other areas , those who have difficulties due to mental ill health can get support too .

astoundedgoat · 09/11/2017 16:21

Definitely. I have seen ads like this a lot on a local site in my old city.

A couple of hours twice a week, to get you up and running, and perhaps do a little bit of a tidy while she's there and involve you in that too perhaps.

It's a really good - and proactive - idea. Perhaps get someone to help you screen someone really good?

GrasswillbeGreener · 09/11/2017 16:21

I think you are definitely onto something here, that would help me out too. I need to try to organise a cleaner and part of it I know is that having someone around I'd get more done. At my bad times someone coming in for, say, an hour each morning would have made a real difference. I suspect someone working as a cleaner might be willing to have a more varied remit of "tasks".

At one point a few years ago now, when I was getting some psychology support my counsellor felt I could really do with a CPN but I always "present too well" outside the house to trigger such things.

Hope you can come up with something useful.

mustbemad17 · 09/11/2017 16:25

Depends OP. I know a couple of PA's who split their working week between two or three people with shorter hour needs 🙂 Of course there are some who would want x amount of hours with just you per week, but in the care industry a lot of PA's split their time

Str4ngedaysindeed · 09/11/2017 16:26

There should be agencies ( as in organisations) that can find volunteers for companionship in your area. Age UK is the obvious one but places like Care Network may be able to help

mustbemad17 · 09/11/2017 16:27

Have you had a look on the MIND site? Not sure if they still offer it but when I was at Uni I volunteered with them as a companion; we literally went & helped anyone who needed a bit of support. I did shopping for people, or accompanied them shopping; took them out for coffee, things like that. It was free, all the person being supported had to do was cover any costs such as bus far to the shop or whatever

Original poster
mallardduckponds · 09/11/2017 16:27

I'm not keen on the idea of a volunteer as I'd feel I couldn't ask too much from them. Whereas if it was a carer I could.

OP posts:
ProfessorCat · 09/11/2017 16:29

Mind offer a befriending service. They are there to help you with exactly that.