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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really tight?

87 replies

Snap8TheCat · 05/11/2017 18:36

Dd went to a birthday party after school on Friday, official invitation and everything. She came home and changed and went to the little girl’s house at 4pm so definitely a party and not just a play date. She was one of about 7/8 guests.

We duly bought a present (£12) and card as indeed you should and dd came home with not so much as a sniff of birthday cake. She said there was a cake and they sang happy birthday but it wasn’t sliced up and offered.

They played pass the parcel and the birthday child won Hmm

The rest was just playing in the child’s playroom which is fine, dd said she had a good time.

I just think the whole thing is a bit cheeky. There is a bit of background with this family and piss taking but isn’t it a bit greedy to accept presents and not even give a slice of cake?

OP posts:
YoungGirlGrowingOld · 05/11/2017 18:39

Yes! Very greedy.

I was going to say "don't reciprocate" when it comes to your DD party, but then I feel a bit sorry for their DD (who may already be mortified by her tightarse parents, or if not, soon will be...)

Ninjakittysmells · 05/11/2017 18:40

Is money tight for them?

Tippz · 05/11/2017 18:41

Rather tight yep.

And poor etiquette.

Sirzy · 05/11/2017 18:43

Assuming they were fed and had fun it wouldn’t bother me.

RainbowBriteRules · 05/11/2017 18:43

Maybe they couldn’t afford a party or had their own reasons for more of a play date? A bit tight maybe but perhaps they are disorganised or very short of cash. The cost of the present does not entitle you to a cake. Perhaps they forgot to cut it up for guests and had meant to. I have a rough £5 limit on birthday presents as do most of my friends, £12 is a lot to spend unless it is a special friend.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 05/11/2017 18:46

Yes, very tight and greedy. Lesson learnt in future when you receive further invites.

HollowCity · 05/11/2017 18:48

Slightly poor etiquette but perhaps money is tight. DS is turning 4 soon and we are struggling for money at the moment so will need to keep it simple.

Bumbumtaloo · 05/11/2017 18:48

My DD once had a party that ended up like this, we certainly didn’t plan it like that. We had games organised, face painting, food etc but the children actually wanted to just play in our dining room (was also our playroom). We did have a couple of parents stay too. Our DD’s birthday is 28/12 and we couldn’t book anywhere, tbh I think some of the parents were glad for a couple of hours peace.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/11/2017 18:51

Yes but......you shouldn't expect anything to take home when you have been a guest?? You spent £12 but she was fed, watered, entertained with her friends. Value for money.

clippityclock · 05/11/2017 18:53

I don't think the OP is moaning about the type of party but just the lack of birthday offered after the children had seen and sang happy birthday.

I think its bloody tight not to give the birthday cake, especially as all the kids would have expected a slice after seeing it.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/11/2017 18:53

I know of a party where this happened. The party family found out right before the party that one of the guests was allergic to the cake so they didn’t serve it as they didn’t have anything to give the allergic kid.

No one noticed.

clippityclock · 05/11/2017 18:54

lack of birthday "cake' that should say!

LittleWingSoul · 05/11/2017 18:55

YABU

ChampagneSocialist1 · 05/11/2017 18:59

Not offering the cake to guests is very tight

PinkHeart5914 · 05/11/2017 19:01

Blimey how mean.

Come on children sing happy birthday, look at the cake but you can’t have any Confused

If you cut a cake as standard size portions which you would a child, the parents only had 7/8 dc at this party so plenty of cake would of been left

silverychicken · 05/11/2017 19:03

I’ve seen parties where a lovely birthday cake has the candles lit, Happy Birthday is sung, then the nice cake is taken away, and traybake parcelled up for the children. My children weren’t amused !!

expatinscotland · 05/11/2017 19:09

Yeah, it's tight, and if they have form for pisstaking, well, what did you expect?

Laceup · 05/11/2017 19:09

Chicken...your not wrong.thats happened so many times at parties my kids have been to I assumed it was the norm

Bumbumtaloo · 05/11/2017 19:13

Just to add to my earlier post, all of the children that came to dd’s party had cake and party bags Grin

Pengggwn · 05/11/2017 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 05/11/2017 19:15

Are we correct in assuming that there was a party tea?

If so, maybe cake of some sort was served as a part of that instead?

I know that party bags are generally "the norm" but quite often they are nothing more than a few sweets & a bit of plastic tat (absolutely nothing wrong with that, but not a huge thing to "miss out" on either).

So long as everyone had fun, something to eat & a drink I'd try not to let it bother me.

Mamabear4180 · 05/11/2017 19:15

It seems a bit odd not to have cake but maybe there's some other reason. I wouldn't sweat it. I also wouldn't spend £12 on a present Blush

drspouse · 05/11/2017 19:17

But what are you going to do with a whole birthday cake you don't eat? Surely either you'd have to eat it all yourselves (and birthday cake is OK but it palls after a while) or have another party?

GabsAlot · 05/11/2017 19:17

maybe th cake wasnt that big and thy had family over? things look massive to a 4 year old

could hav given something though

Ropsleybunny · 05/11/2017 19:17

I think it's absolutely fine. Your daughter enjoyed herself and had some tea, what's the problem?