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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital food

166 replies

Afternooncatnap · 02/11/2017 17:07

So my 9 month old is in hospital with bronchiolitis. I have to stay in here with him.

the hospital don't provide his milk and won't let me make up formula. So I'm buying really expensive ready made milk. They also don't provide baby food and don't want me bringing home made. So I'm also buying jars of food for him.

They don't feed me and there is only sandwich places at the hospital so I have been buying expensive microwave meals for me.

So including parking it's costing a small fortune to be here.

I just found out that if I was breastfeeding (somthing I was unable to do) they would feed me.

I now just feel a but hacked off that it's costing me so much to be here when there are other parents that are in the same position getting either themselves or there baby fed by the hospital.

AIBU to think that as a children's hospital they should provide baby food, and to feel that they should feed all mums. We all need energy to look after our babies, breastfeeding or not. It's not like I can just not eat because my son is on formula.

OP posts:
AnnabellaH · 02/11/2017 17:09

It's more to do with the fct breadtfeeding mothers y

AnnabellaH · 02/11/2017 17:10

Sorry baby kicked my phone. It's more to do with breastfeeding mothers being less likely to be physically able to leave their children for longer periods. Formula feeding mothers can. It sucks. Sorry Sad

milliemolliemou · 02/11/2017 17:12

Speak to the staff and contact the patient support unit.

sweetdreamsaremadeofbees · 02/11/2017 17:14

That's fucking shit OP.

I'd kick up merry hell that they'll feed mothers who BF but not those who formula feed.

Starwhisperer · 02/11/2017 17:14

I don't think any mother, breast feeding or not, is going to feel able to leave a very poorly, hospitalised baby.
I imagine it's more that if a bf mother doesn't leave her baby to eat then her milk may suffer which will make things harder for the sick child whereas a ff mother will just suffer herself.
I don't think your being unreasonable. The rules about home made baby food and powder formula sound a bit ridiculous to me although I'm sure there's some reason for it Hmm
I hope your child is feeling better soon Flowers

expatinscotland · 02/11/2017 17:15

'AIBU to think that as a children's hospital they should provide baby food, and to feel that they should feed all mums. We all need energy to look after our babies, breastfeeding or not. It's not like I can just not eat because my son is on formula.'

I definitely think they should feed the baby, as the baby is the patient, but don't agree about feeding the parents and I say that as someone who had to live in patient with my daughter for months. It opens up a huge can of worms and would require quite a few resources to cater to different dietary requirements.

EssentialHummus · 02/11/2017 17:16

Nothing to add, but so sorry you’re going through this.

NapQueen · 02/11/2017 17:17

The baby is the patient and as such is surely entitled to some food? It may not be puree or jars it may well be the usual hospital meal which you may be able to chop up and possibly share.

Hauntedlobster · 02/11/2017 17:18

I know it’s not helpful but the homemade rule is common - I spent a long time in hospital and it’s to do with bacteria. I’d think it’s the same with the formula. Once something for me - the patient - was open it had to be finished within 24 hours or thrown out.

It sounds crap, particularly the car parking thing. Speak to the cash office at the hospital though as if you’re on mat leave you may at least be entitled to travel expenses. However that may just be for your child as they’re the patient - so for the journey there and then home once.

I hope your eee one gets better soon. Hospital parking fees rears it’s head (rightly) in the media often but it’s yet to be resolved.

Lules · 02/11/2017 17:19

I don't get that ff mothers are able to leave their babies for longer. My baby was in hospital recently and there wasn't anyone who had the time to sit with my baby if I wasn't there. I wouldn't leave a 4 week old baby alone for more than a couple of minutes, particularly as we were in a side room so no one would have heard him crying, so even going downstairs to get a sandwich was too hard. I just didn't eat.

Luckily I wasn't there for that long. They did provide formula though.

Allthewaves · 02/11/2017 17:19

They should be providing food for the baby, I got food I could mash like veg and mash potato.

When dc was milk fed, they fed me as a breast feeding mum but it's standard they don't feed parents at all. Though ward did provide a fridge for parents and a microwave to bring in home made food.

When dc was formula fed we could use microwave to sterilise and make up bottles

Hauntedlobster · 02/11/2017 17:20

Ps- what napquesn said. My mum would eat the hospital meal and give me sealed sandwiches/microwave meal. Reading that back I was very spoilt but in my defence I was 21 and had cancer —poor excuse—

Lules · 02/11/2017 17:22

Mine had bronchiolitis too. It's shit. I hope he gets better soon.

Allthewaves · 02/11/2017 17:22

I agree it's expensively being a parent and trying to feed yourself in hospital. My husband works away and in laws didn't bring food. So had one meal from canteen a day - big meal was £3.

AJPTaylor · 02/11/2017 17:23

surely a 9 month old should have their nutritional needs met by the hospital?

Germgirl · 02/11/2017 17:23

A lot of hospitals will reduce parking charges if you're having to park every day. Have a look on the hospital website or ask a friendly nurse or ward clerk if there's anything like that at your hospital.

lunar1 · 02/11/2017 17:24

When ds was in hospital as a baby he was breastfed. they provided food for the babies that were formula fed, if the baby was BF then mum got a voucher for the canteen. It seemed a fair way to work it.

GrockleBocs · 02/11/2017 17:31

I went in with 2 yr old dd as an emergency just before dinner time. We were in A&E until very late and then she was admitted to a ward. I stayed and DH went home. All tea, coffee, vending facilities were off ward and I was told I couldn't leave her on the ward alone.
Breakfast the next morning was for dd only.

I've been in hospital for a longer time when it was easy to get in a routine of bringing food and drinks in but I do think they should consider an accompanying adult for emergency admissions.

PonderLand · 02/11/2017 17:33

I used to work on a children's ward doing the food and I'd always feed the over night parent, it's a stupid rule and if a parent has to go away to eat it puts more pressure on nursing staff to watch the child. Our reason for feeding bf mums is that if the mum doesn't eat that can affect milk supply which would ultimately affect the patient. It wasn't anything to do with a parent leaving a baby etc.

if I'd of been caught feeding a ff parent I'd of got a disciplinary 3 disciplinary's could result in being fired. The children should be given a meal even if only mash veg and gravy to mash up. We'd have fishfingers, chicken nuggets and jackets, salad sticks, beans on toast etc. I think you should ask for the menus that they have and try and put something together if money is tight. If there's nothing your child can eat don't tell them that, just order something and eat it yourself.

ElizabethShaw · 02/11/2017 17:36

Surely they must be providing something for the baby to eat? Can you not mash his food with a fork?

exexpat · 02/11/2017 17:37

I don't have any advice on food, but definitely check if you can get cheaper parking if you are basically at the hospital round the clock or even just visiting for most of every day - there is usually some kind of rate for patients/close family.

Original poster
Afternooncatnap · 02/11/2017 17:41

They do a reduced parking rate of £3 per day. So not great but not too bad.

I'm wasn't that bothered that they don't feed me. I wasn't expecting them too really. I was just a bit hacked off to find out they do feed Bf mums. I appreciate they can't leave baby for long periods of time but it's not like I can bugger off home or to a restaurant. I still need to be here to feed my baby and look after him.

It's just really stupid that they don't provide baby food. I had a look at the menu and if I was to feed him from the normal kids dinner cart he would be having custard and smash for every meal. So not really an option.

I'm just hoping we'll be out by the weekend. If not I may have to get Dh to sneak me in some wine 😉 he's working away so has avoided helping so owes me.

OP posts:
Cheby · 02/11/2017 17:43

They should be providing your DC's milk and food; they feed the patient. Is this a hospital in England? If so those are the bits you should be upset/complaining about.

Re feeding bf mums; it's because the hospital feeds (or rather should feed) the patient, and bf mums are providing food for the baby, so by extension they need to be fed to make milk.

At 9 months can your baby not eat the food on offer for other children? Should be ok with toast for breakfast (or you could spoon feed porridge, cereal etc?). Lunch is quite often soup and/or sandwiches, youcoild spoon feed soup, and my 6mo will have a go at eating a sandwich. Most hospital menus include a 'soft' option as this is required for a lot of patients (elderly, post bowel surgery etc). If you choose that from the menu for dinner I think you would be able to mush it fairly easily and then spoon feed. Its usually stuff like cottage pie. That would save the jar food at least.

Cheby · 02/11/2017 17:47

Ah, are they not providing milk because your DC is on an expensive or unusual brand of formula? Our local children's ward do provide aptamil but I know some don't as it's a lot more expensive.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/11/2017 17:59

Peadiatric nurse here. That is very odd. We provide prescription formulas and stage One milk.
We also feed one parent up to the age of six months. And all parents can have breakfast. Speak to the ward manager.