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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital food

166 replies

Afternooncatnap · 02/11/2017 17:07

So my 9 month old is in hospital with bronchiolitis. I have to stay in here with him.

the hospital don't provide his milk and won't let me make up formula. So I'm buying really expensive ready made milk. They also don't provide baby food and don't want me bringing home made. So I'm also buying jars of food for him.

They don't feed me and there is only sandwich places at the hospital so I have been buying expensive microwave meals for me.

So including parking it's costing a small fortune to be here.

I just found out that if I was breastfeeding (somthing I was unable to do) they would feed me.

I now just feel a but hacked off that it's costing me so much to be here when there are other parents that are in the same position getting either themselves or there baby fed by the hospital.

AIBU to think that as a children's hospital they should provide baby food, and to feel that they should feed all mums. We all need energy to look after our babies, breastfeeding or not. It's not like I can just not eat because my son is on formula.

OP posts:
Mustang27 · 03/11/2017 09:30

Breastfeeding mums need the calories to ensure supply, feeding a baby that is poorly can be nearly a 24/7 task as well so leaving to get food might be an issue as well.

However I do think it’s very unfair that they can’t even supply you with the regular patient meals if they aren’t providing your child with anything on that front. You are there and his main caregiver they should be caring for you a little at least. This is really sad.

Just order the food with them thinking you have intention of sharing it. I feel for you I really do. I hope your wee one is on the mend soon.

chipscheeseandgravy · 03/11/2017 09:30

Can you not take a flask of hot water, a flask of cold and make the bottle up on demand? At 9months I assume he has some sort of milk routine, so you know when he’s going to want it.

For your lunch, do you have a relative who can bring you snacks/sandwiches even if they are prepacked from Tesco? That will save you a small amount of money compared to buying from the hospital every day.

For the parking if your having to stay overnight can you get someone to sit with your son, drive the car home and get a taxi back? Surely that would be cheaper than leaving you car parked outside for x amount of weeks. Then when you know ds is about to be discharged, get a lift back home and bring the car back.

Soubriquet · 03/11/2017 09:40

My Dd was on purée till about 15 months

If I fed her anything with lumps, she would gag really badly

If she fed herself solid food, she was fine.

So I would feed her purée and then let her snack on solids until she was able to eat a full solid meal. The purée was then phased out.

ItWentDownMyHeartHole · 03/11/2017 10:04

They should be able to purée the food for your baby. It’s a hospital and they are caring for a child who can’t manage lumps. I can’t see you’re BU in any way.

My DD had the same condition at 3 weeks old. She was so ill and I was in with her from Boxing Day to New Year. Exclusively bf. I had to pump until she was well enough to eat again but every time the hospital offered food (maybe four times from memory) they said it was a favour. They gave me chips and beans from the kid menu. Kid portion. We left grateful that we had a much healthier baby but my jeans were slipping off me. I’d lost so much weight.

It was cold all night which you feel more if you’re tired and hungry and the canteen, when I got the chance to go, was sometimes shut. Christmas hours! The ward was pretty much deserted so no one rushed off their feet. Thoroughly miserable.

I hope your DC recovers quickly. It can reoccur, so make sure you have a chance to grab food before a repeat visit. Take care.

LostForNow · 03/11/2017 10:09

YABU!

Its a hospital not a hotel!

They feed adult patients as they are unable to go and get food themselves. You are plenty able to go and get your child food.

LostForNow · 03/11/2017 10:10

*ITWentDown

Were you completely incapable of getting any other food? Did they bar you from the hospital canteen? You say we so I'm guessing you had a partner/DH, could they not have made you a pack up?

Sirzy · 03/11/2017 10:17

FIrst time ds was in (for 2 weeks) the weather so was bad we were pretty much snowed in for the first few days (staff where sleeping in the ward between shifts type bad) one of the dads worked for a crisp factory and came in with a bin bag full of crisps so for 3 or 4 days I pretty much lived on toast and crisps. Not ideal but best of a bad bunch!

ItWentDownMyHeartHole · 03/11/2017 10:35

lost I had to stay right next to my very sick 3 week old baby. I ran everywhere, toilet, tea room, occasionally the canteen. Which was a distance away. And every time I left the room I had to tell the nurse at the desk.

DH had my toddler at home and came in once a day. I kept telling him I was starving hungry but my mum came up to visit and took over supplying the food to bring in. She eats like a bird and so fed accordingly. One time a satsuma and a piece of fruit cake. She’s another story...At the time I was so worried about the baby I didn’t know what to do or think. Complete panic really.

I love the NHS and always think we need to be grateful but that time they did me a disservice. They had me on the ward almost constantly caring for my daughter. Clearly not getting to eat often. If I’m feeding their patient with my body then the hospital needs to feed me. One regular meal a day would have done it.

Lules · 03/11/2017 10:36

lost I can't speak for the OP but I might as well have been banned from the canteen as there wasn't anyone who had the time to look after my baby and I couldn't leave him alone. My DH was at home looking after our toddler. My parents were away and I don't have any friends who live remotely close (just moved house). And as it was an emergency admission I didn't think to bring food with me.

BarbarianMum · 03/11/2017 10:43

Similar story here ItWent. We were in isolation in the burns unit and i wasn't supposed to leave the room much because of the risk of infection. Plus I was coeliac so couldn't eat much of what was available, even if I could get to a vending machine (cafe took a good half an hour to get to and from). Dh was at home w ds1 who had norovirus so couldn't come in. Bloody nightmare - i lived on bottles of spring water and the occasional chocolate bar for two days, then my money ran out and I lived on cups of tea from the nurses for another day til we had the brains to beg my mum to come up (and stay in a hotel - norovirus) and bring in supplies to leave at the desk.

BarbarianMum · 03/11/2017 10:44

Oh and I was breastfeeding btw but still didn't get fed- maybe because I was in the burns unit not the ward. Good job I'm fat.

ItWentDownMyHeartHole · 03/11/2017 10:51

barbarian That sounds horrendous. The norovirus adds another layer. I hope you’re all doing ok now Flowers

BlackBanana · 03/11/2017 10:58

I was I suppose a bit hurt to hear that if I was Bf they would feed me. It made me feel a bit like I don't deserve to be fed

That's just silly. They have to provide food for the patient, your child. If you are bf'ing, you are the source of most of that food. So they feed you to make his food. You are not BF'ing, so they do not feed you to provide his food.
'
It's not a value judgement, it's simple biology.

exexpat · 03/11/2017 11:00

Is it a blanket NHS rule that relatives are not allowed to be fed? It is just that I have been given sandwiches while waiting with my father who had been admitted to A&E, and was also regularly offered food while staying round the clock during my sister's final few days on an oncology ward.

Kpo58 · 03/11/2017 11:07

At my local hospital they would feed the breastfeeding mums and then if there was any meals left over, they would feed the non breastfeeding parent who was staying with child. A much less wasteful way than just throwing the unopened heated meals in the bin at the end of meal round.

Pomegranatepompom · 03/11/2017 11:08

I wouldn't expect to have food, the NHS has limited resources and I personally think people should pay for their own food, of course patients food should be provided. I have noticed more and more demands for food, transport, accommodation. More often than not, from people who could very well afford to pay for themselves. Not to mention the stock piling of medications.

Pomegranatepompom · 03/11/2017 11:09

I agree, great idea to offer any left over food.

Pomegranatepompom · 03/11/2017 11:12

Astounded by the ' they didn't save his life' comment.

Gosh, no wonder morale is so low in the NHS.

BarbarianMum · 03/11/2017 11:27

Oh yes ItWent it was years ago. And tbf, it was a bit if a perfect storm - if I hadn't been coeliac, if we hadn't been in the burns unit, if ds1 hadn't had norovirus it wouldnt have happened.

Sirzy · 03/11/2017 11:30

Our local hospital send meals up to order now (patients pick via the tv) so in theory they shouldn’t have any waste. Generally if someone has been discharged after meals are ordered someone else will come in and will end up with that meal.

It used to be the case a trolley was just sent up and patients picked. At that point a few times I was offered leftovers.

jerrysbellyhangslikejelly · 03/11/2017 11:38

Wow I’m very surprised by this. I’m a nurse on a baby ward, albeit not in the UK but very similar public health system. All patients are fed by the hospital, be it formula, cows milk, mashed food, jars of baby food, baby porridge, rusks, yoghurt etc. There are bottle warmers in every patient room and a fridge/freezer on the ward for expressed breast milk. There’s a kitchen in the ward for parents to make up formula if they wish and we provide sterile bottles and teats and a steriliser if parents want to use their own bottles. Breastfeeding mothers are given 3 meals a day plus snacks because they are providing the patients food and all parents can use the microwave and fridge in the kitchen for their own food. If a parent wants/needs to go off the ward for food or whatever that’s fine, the layout of the ward means the baby will have eyes/ears on him or her most of the time. What do they do for babies who’s parents can’t stay overnight? Just let them go hungry? 😕 or babies that are on fortified or special formulas?

arethereanyleftatall · 03/11/2017 12:28

For all those saying the carer should be fed, that is a massive amount of money you're talking about and where does it end? 1parent with a 1 year old, mum and dad both in with a 6 year old? It's potentially a huge cost, and I'd rather spend the money elsewhere, i.e. On the patient.
Rather than comparing yourself to a breastfeeding mother, think of it the other way round. Nobody other than the patient to be fed, unless what the carer eats directly affects the patient.
I'm surprised they can't purée the patients food, there must be lots of people in a hospital, not just babies, who need puréed food.

Lules · 03/11/2017 12:36

I would very happily have paid for food for me if a trolley had gone round. For me it was the logistics rather than cost that was hard. Years ago when I was in hospital there was a trolley service run by volunteers. I guess this doesn't exist any more?

jerry we were in a side room down the end of a corridor. No way nurses could see or even hear him cry from the nurses station. On a ward it would be easier I guess.

Kpo58 · 03/11/2017 12:40

Maybe feed a carer of the under 5s?

You can't leave a baby as they wouldn't understand and it's unfair on the rest of the patients if they scream the place down.

You can't really explain to a toddler either and as you cannot strap them to the bed, you don't want them wandering off to find you.

Sirzy · 03/11/2017 12:46

Leaving ds was much easier when he was a baby and would nap than it is now he is a 7 year old and does understand more

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