Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To split the cost evenly - more of a WWYD

54 replies

PavlovianLunge · 25/10/2017 18:18

I recently went on holiday abroad with a group of family members, self-catering for a couple of weeks. For spends, I offered to put everything on a credit card I have, which doesn't get charged for foreign currency transactions, and let people know the cost after conversion to £; everyone was happy with this.

The bill has come in, and the issue I've got is whether or not to split it evenly. One of the group is coming up to 18, and drank very little alcohol, where the others were drinking wine and beer, and there was also one bottle of gin and one of vodka bought. On the other hand, she had things that none of the others had, but soft drinks, snack bars and sweets, which obviously cost less than alcohol.

I've now got to sort out money for the credit card bill, and I need to let the under-18's parent (who was there) know the amount. At an equal split, it would be about £200 each. My inclination is to either split evenly, or to knock something off for the under-18, maybe £50, and divide the rest between the adults, but I'd be interested to know what others think or have done in a similar situation. (I know we should have talked about it while away.)

To add a slight complication, parts of the family were estranged for 20-some years, and although the holiday went very well, I don't want to do anything that might cause even a little ill-feeling.

Any opinions appreciated, thanks.

OP posts:
messyjessy17 · 25/10/2017 18:22

my opinion is that it was a ridiculous way to do holiday spending and is a recipe for disaster, since you have no idea who owes what or have any agreement in place on how to split the bill.

Starlight2345 · 25/10/2017 18:23

You should of sorted this out before you agreed however yes I would change less to under 18’s

Shoxfordian · 25/10/2017 18:24

Wow that's a mess

Why would you volunteer for that?! Easiest to split equally though

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 25/10/2017 18:25

Oh god, what were you thinking?! It was kind of you to offer to sort it but was never going to end well. The only way to do it would have been to keep a running tally of everybody's cost (what a fun way to holiday!)

I would imagine a lot of alcohol was consumed so I would charge the under-18 less. But I envisage squabbles however you do it...

Fruitcocktail6 · 25/10/2017 18:26

Definitely would have made sense to agree on how to split costs at the start of the holiday...

HermionesRightHook · 25/10/2017 18:27

Ask the group. Give them two solutions, and ask them to pick one, and go with the majority vote. If it causes a bunfight, go to an equal split.

TheNewMrs · 25/10/2017 18:29

I'd agree with Hermione in this situation OP.

VioletCharlotte · 25/10/2017 18:30

Why on earth would you agree to this?

Agree with op - ask the group what they think is best. But imo, yes U18 should pay less as not drinking alcohol.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 25/10/2017 18:30

I can't believe any of you thought this was a good idea Shock

We should take bets on how much you are about to get stung for

Ellisandra · 25/10/2017 18:30

Divide the total bill minus the alcohol equally. Split the alcohol between over 18s. Add together.

Do not get into snack bar costs - that's like counting cups of tea per person! But the alcohol is both expensive and restricted to some people, and there's a social precedent for separate split on alcohol.

Yes, you should have discussed this before. Be prepared for the 17yo's mother to think that the adults were splitting it per person and children were free though Wink

category12 · 25/10/2017 18:31

Bonkers. Never do that again. I bet someone won't stump up.

Anecdoche · 25/10/2017 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiversrunWoodville · 25/10/2017 18:34

Go with Ellisandras idea

Butterymuffin · 25/10/2017 18:34

You were brave to do that. It's an easy way to get burned and as pp said, you should have agreed how to handle it at the start - and preferably got an amount from each of them up front. Hermione's plan about offering two solutions is your best way forward now.

Changednamejustincase · 25/10/2017 18:37

You can't split the credit card bill. You can only charge people for what they spent. I would not be happy paying some of somebody else's holiday spends.

araiwa · 25/10/2017 18:38

What a stupid plan that was!!

Wwyd?- never have done such a ridiculous plan in the first place

Ellisandra · 25/10/2017 18:39

I wouldn't offer two solutions. By offering any choice you're suggesting there's not just one logical way - and you're making yourself responsible for the proffered and chosen solutions, and setting up the potential bunfight.

Split it evenly, go with separate alcohol split, or whatever else.

But either present it as a done deal or throw it open to the floor (wolves) and refuse to be the one making the decision. "Hi guys - bill is in, it's 800 EUR - how are we splitting it?"

I'd definitely go as a done deal though, and if petty squabbles arise, stand back and keep your head down and your nose clean!

MaddieElla · 25/10/2017 18:39

Craziness. But, I wouldn't assume the under 18 spent much less, soft drinks abroad cost an arm and a leg in my experience. (Aside from the bottles obviously - maybe split that between the purchasers)

Original poster
PavlovianLunge · 25/10/2017 18:44

I can see why people are Shock at how we did it, but really, it's fine, it kept things easier at the time, and if DP and I end up paying a bit more, we'll suck it up.

I think Hermione's suggestion is the way to go; the u-18's parent is my cousin, and we get on well, so I'll do the sums and have a chat with them with the equal/adjusted options. I might text, so as not to put them on the spot, but I'l make it clear that either option is fine - which it is. I think we will adjust, it's fairest. I'm not dismissing ellisandra's idea, but the alcohol was all part of big supermarket shops, so coming up with an exact figure would be a huge chore. (I know.)

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions, it's helped clear my thinking.

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 25/10/2017 18:49

To say this was a terrible idea and is a mess is something of an over reaction i think. When we go on holiday we always have a kitty purse and pay all food and drink from it.This is much the same really. No-one is refusing to pay, OP is just wondering how best to split the bill. £200 for a few weeks spends sounds really good value. If the 18yo can afford it then just split it evenly. If they are a student then maybe ask them for less. Maybe check everyone is okay with that first?

SandLand · 25/10/2017 18:56

How much difference does it make.. if there were 10 adults, and you doc 50 off for the younger, it's going to make £5/ adult difference.

araiwa · 25/10/2017 18:58

Easy now
Complete fuck up later leading to arguments and fights over tiny details

Good planning

Doramaybe · 25/10/2017 19:01

I will just shake my head in wonder.

I hope it all works out for you OP.

(and I would never go on holidays with anyone other than DP now either!)

Sara107 · 25/10/2017 19:02

When we go on a family!y meal all are adult except my DD. The bill is split evenly but leaving her out (so everyone pays a small portion of her bill). Having said that there is always a huff from somebody about the size of the tip, who had the champagne cocktail when everyone else was on tap water etc!!

Santawontbelong · 25/10/2017 19:09

"My relatives won't pay up..."
Your next thread op. .