To split the cost evenly - more of a WWYD

[PavlovianLunge]

I recently went on holiday abroad with a group of family members, self-catering for a couple of weeks. For spends, I offered to put everything on a credit card I have, which doesn't get charged for foreign currency transactions, and let people know the cost after conversion to £; everyone was happy with this.

The bill has come in, and the issue I've got is whether or not to split it evenly. One of the group is coming up to 18, and drank very little alcohol, where the others were drinking wine and beer, and there was also one bottle of gin and one of vodka bought. On the other hand, she had things that none of the others had, but soft drinks, snack bars and sweets, which obviously cost less than alcohol.

I've now got to sort out money for the credit card bill, and I need to let the under-18's parent (who was there) know the amount. At an equal split, it would be about £200 each. My inclination is to either split evenly, or to knock something off for the under-18, maybe £50, and divide the rest between the adults, but I'd be interested to know what others think or have done in a similar situation. (I know we should have talked about it while away.)

To add a slight complication, parts of the family were estranged for 20-some years, and although the holiday went very well, I don't want to do anything that might cause even a little ill-feeling.

Any opinions appreciated, thanks.

Thanks, araiwa, I know you think it was a terrible idea, but I can't change what was done, I really just wanted some ideas.

Honestly, I'm totally relaxed about it: my cousin paid for the villa and we all reimbursed, I paid for all the air fares, and got paid back. I know that people can quibble about these things, but knowing the people involved (even after the estrangement), I'm willing to take my chances. And hey, some lessons cost, if there's any silly fuckery, I'll just have to deal with it as best I can.

There were eight of us, so reducing for the u18 would add £5 each; that feels about right to me. I'll have a chat with my cousin.

On another note, it should have been nine, but one dropped out when she found out she was in the early stages of pregnancy; should the rest of us offer to split her share of the villa cost, or should she just suck it up? There are no medical issues that I know of, but there could be some, of course.

I think Early pregnancy is a medical issue in itself for many women - I stagger through it vomiting and dropping pounds weekly, which is just a normal pregnancy. I wouldn't have gone on a holiday!

If the pregnant person had agreed to split the cost of the villa she should still pay imo. It's tough but unless there was a medical reason not to go it's unfair for the rest of you to pay more and if there was a medical reason did she have holiday insurance?

I'd split it evenly, soft drinks in bars aren't cheap. Their parent can offer to pay their share if they want in case it's too much for the teenagers to afford. In future don't do this - it's a recipe for disaster even with families where there hasn't been fallouts in the past.

Apologies for minimising, time, it's another cousin who I have only met once, and I don't really know much about her situation. But yes, she might well have been unable to travel and be away from home.

That's a good point about insurance, Sandy, I might suggest my cousin mentions it to her, just in case she hasn't thought of it; I think she had a lot going on at the moment.

Pregnant lady should definitely stump up for the villa. Shocking if she didn't!

I assume pregnant cousin paid her share of villa cost, as we paid my other cousin (who paid the lump sum) months ago. I just wondered if we should offer to cover her share, but the consensus seems to be not.

She should pay her share.

No matter how you split it someone will cause problems.

Sara you expect OTHER people to pay for YOUR child to eat out?

It's not the using of your one card that's the issue!
It's the not agreeing beforehand how it will be split.
When I holiday with my fiancé and our separate children, I pay it all because it's easier to halve one bill at the end than go through all the "you'd paid for dinner last night, I'll pay for crazy golf today" crap!

I agree, Ellisandra, but it was my first group holiday for decades, so the pitfalls didn’t really occur to me. It was only used for the house shopping and the few occasions we were all out together. Plus I’m very laid back about it, if there’s any fuckery, I’ll deal with it. The main thing is that two people dear to me reconnected. But lesson learned.

I actually don’t mind splitting the cost of a child/teenager. We know two couples, each with a teen, who we eat out with from time to time, and we split the bill 50/50. I couldn’t have the parents pay 1/5, so then you get into the maths of apportioning the booze, splitting the food cost, and whatever else. Too complicated for me, halves are fine.

Do what you think is right, split the bill, communicate the total due to each individual don't explain.

God-I wouldn't split it like that!

Did the 18 year old chaps parents go?

I think the pregnant woman should still pay her share of the villa.

What a stupid thing to do! Sorry but

We used to do it like this:
Parents x 2
Children x 1
We ended up paying more as we had more children than anyone else, but we felt it was fair to everyone.

I think split the food bill by 8 and the drink bill by 7.

Whatever possessed you to suggest such a stupid plan? That's a madcap scheme if ever there was one, and has potential to go horribly wrong in so many ways...So much for not wanting to cause ill feeling

Your best bet is to ask what the group thinks should be done and fervently pray to God things work out.

Eating out etc & we'd always count kids as a 0.5 share of the bill, on the basis that usually the adults are drinking alcohol, so even if kids order extras desserts/soft drinks etc it's still significantly cheaper than booze.

So e.g. 6 adults, 4 kids. £100 bill.
Divide £100 by 8 = £12.50

Single person = 1/8 = £12.50
Couple with no DC = 2/8 = £25
Single adult + 1DC = 1.5/8 = £18.75
Family of 2 adults 3 DC = 3.5/8 = £43.75

The only reason your situation might be borderline is that an older teen eats/consumes more like an adult so probably better to be treated as one.

I would take the alcohol off the bill and divide the bill between the adults incl. the non drinker. Then work out alcohol per head and add that to the drinkers bills. Tell the parent what they owe, mention you didn;t charge the 18 yr old for booze - tell everyone else what they owe and see if any f*cker dares to question it along the lines of I don't each much for breakfast etc. or if they'll just be grateful that someone made their life easy for them on holiday.

Thanks all for the additional comments. I get that some will think it was a bad idea, but I’d got the card, it was going to save the others a bit of money, and I trust them. If I’m proved wrong, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll cross that bridge if and when.

The u-18 is studying, and yes, their dad was there, he was the driving force behind the holiday. He and I get on fine (for now, before anyone says it), I’ll speak with him when I’ve got the figures.

Thanks again, it’s been interesting to get so many points of view.

In my opinion, the pregnant lady should pay. If I've agreed to something and my circumstances have changed (pregnancy, bereavement, better plan!) I would never leave anyone else out of pocket and would always expect to still pay for what I've booked.

I replied quickly - I would definitely have paid if I pulled out of a holiday due to being pregnant. We booked Christmas away with family knowing we would be trying and might not be able to go, bt would never let the others down on the cost.