AIBU or his he???

[JuneBalloon]

It’s half term so kids are at home.

We are having a lot of work done on our house at the moment. This week we are in the process of changing all our internal doors. The carpenter arrived this morning with his 12 yr old son (who happens to be at the same school and in the same year as my DS). That in itself caused me to 🤔 but I have tried to let it go.... But now the carpenter is letting him do some of the work (albeit under his supervision). Not sure how I should feel about this - I mean, we agreed a quote based on the carpenter doing the work.

Furthermore, the son keeps a picking up and cuddling our pets, reading all the notices etc that we’ve got stuck to the fridge and drinking copious amounts of squash - which would be perfectly fine if he was a guest, but he isn’t!

AIBU or is he???? Not that I will say anything given the school connection - unless he cocks something up...

I would really struggle to care

Maybe about reading stuff depending what it is

You are effectively childminding his child to facilitate him working. I wouldnt have an objection to his son learning the trade at this fathers elbow, I would have an issue with him wandering round my house, reading, touching, and helping himself (is he helping himself or asking for squash?). I might say something like "You're not bringing Timmy tomorrow are you?"

None of this matters

Did he ask in advance whether it was OK to bring his DS?

I would be annoyed if the DS was doing carpentry, but would let the rest go.

No, not helping himself to squash, but sitting at the Breakfast Bar to drink it...

Perhaps it is me BU - but it’s still irking me. Every time I need to shout talk to my kids he stops what he’s doing and watches (bearing in mind he’s at the same school).

And my DD is extremely precious about her brand new kitten that he keeps playing with/cuddling...

It’d be U to object to him petting the pets.

The carpenter should have contacted you beforehand and asked if you minded him bringing his son.

He should have also ensured that his son has food, drink, and things to do with him.

He should not be bothering you, your children or your pets.

I'd say the pets and the squash is fine, him picking in with the carpentry really isn't. Who will reimburse you if he does a shitty job?

Wouldn’t phase me at all.

He sits at your breakfast bar and pets the cat, the little shit. Tell him not to come back, of course you do know the work will stop. Right? Because he has no one to look after the kid.

Do you also not Answer your door when someone knocks? Genuine question.

YABU. "We agreed a quote based on the carpenter doing the work"... he's not subcontracting it!

Bluntness - genuine question - why would I not answer the door if someone knocked???

Exactly Penggwn! I’m not doing childcare but am sitting here feeling worried while I watch a 12 yr old brandish a drill and a hammer.

But will bite my lip - as long as no-one gets hurt and the job gets done well...

I suppose his dad is looking after him and not you, OP but I do think he should have mentioned it. I think I’d have been mildly irked too. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of your job I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Poor lad not being able to relax in his own home or perhaps friend or child care let them down and dad trying to make it more fun tagging along on a work day cos presumably both parents work

Yes irksome for you though re the pets.

He's not insured to bring his kid to your house to carry out some work. If anything happens in the house you could be liable even if it's the dads fault.

With him actually helping out with the work this would cause me concern.

None of this matters

It matters to OP, so it matters.

Having a 12 year old doing the carpentry you're paying for would matter to most people actually.

I would have just told him to leave this morning when he turned up . You having a child at the same school is irrespective, likely if he had been visiting my house where there are no children of school age he still would have bought him . Very unprofessional, and at 12 the child should be perfectly capable of staying home and the dad could have gone home for lunch to check on him .

When the carpenter quoted for the work, did he say whether there would be one person or two? Does it matter if the son is there as long as the price you were quoted is the same and the work takes the same amount of time?

It could be that the son is actually helping his dad and if the son wasn't there, another helper/apprentice/co-worker would have been or else they couldn't do the work. Maybe the carpenter has a colleague who can't work this week because he/she is looking after DCs on half term?

As long as the boy is being supervised by his dad (which it does sound like he could do better) I don't see a problem.

If she was a woman who couldn't work due to childcare cock-ups would you be more generous minded? Hmmmm?

And you sound bloody stingey with your squash.

Our builder brings his son sometimes, he does a bit of clearing etc and generally hangs out with the men experiencing positive male role models (they are good builders not twats). I think its rather sweet. The boss builder pays him some pocket money.

My husband sometimes hangs around with them for the same reason ...

You might want to ask the carpenter if he is insured to have his son helping him. Also be aware that if his son is injured it may affect his and/or YOUR insurance. He isn't an invited guest, so ask your carpenter not to bring him again.

i'd give the kid the wifi password and then he will be happy all day and the carpenter can get on with the work. keeps everyone happy.

What if you were out. Wouldhe let his kid wander around your house? Ask him not to let the boy do work on your house, you've paid for a carpenter not let your house be used as a kids woodwork practise. Tbh he's old enough to be left alone.