AIBU or his he???

[JuneBalloon]

It’s half term so kids are at home.

We are having a lot of work done on our house at the moment. This week we are in the process of changing all our internal doors. The carpenter arrived this morning with his 12 yr old son (who happens to be at the same school and in the same year as my DS). That in itself caused me to 🤔 but I have tried to let it go.... But now the carpenter is letting him do some of the work (albeit under his supervision). Not sure how I should feel about this - I mean, we agreed a quote based on the carpenter doing the work.

Furthermore, the son keeps a picking up and cuddling our pets, reading all the notices etc that we’ve got stuck to the fridge and drinking copious amounts of squash - which would be perfectly fine if he was a guest, but he isn’t!

AIBU or is he???? Not that I will say anything given the school connection - unless he cocks something up...

It wouldn't bother me that the son was bought, but the carpenter should have asked first. Maybe he assumed it would be okay as your son knows him.

I wouldn't mind the son helping if it involves holding something in place etc, but power tools sound a bit risky.

Regarding the kitten, maybe you should have stepped in and said something sooner.

Not “the norm” in trades IME, and many clients, if asked in advance, would not want an accompanying under 16 trailling along.

I thought this was the norm in trades?

No it certainly isn't the norm.

I thought this was the norm in trades?

Bringing a 12 year old to clients houses without asking them? No, it's not the norm at all.

Fair crack. DH is in landscaping. Few of the he works with do it, few of the brickies he's worked with did too. Maybe just the local lads. They do always ask though!

TBF, I also thought this was the norm in "trades", but by that I mean self employed or small family businesses.

Well I wouldn't be happy about it either OP! I can't just rock up to my job with my child in tow!

I can't believe how blase other posters are about the whole thing! I would find it extremely unprofessional if I had employed a tradesperson to do a job that I was paying them for only to find they had a 12 year old child doing half the work!

If she was a woman who couldn't work due to childcare cock-ups would you be more generous minded? Hmmmm?
Why are you making this into a gender issue? Hmmmmm? It's completely irrelevant whether it's the male or female parent, or their son or daughter. What this person did was unprofessional regardless.

This is an unwanted "guest" in the OP's home, and she's perfectly entitled to feel annoyed by it.

I thought this was the norm in trades?
Definitely not. I've had an entire home built from scratch, as were all the other houses in my neighbourhood. I was onsite at some point almost very day and never once saw a child there "working" or hanging around. Had I done, I would've pegged that particular tradesperson as very unprofessional, and quite possible breaking WHS laws in my area.

I wouldn't mind the kid being there as long as he was well behaved but yes it's rude and unprofessional of the Dad not to ask you first.

He is sitting at the breakfast bar drinking squash probably because he has been taught to so he doesn't make a mess

It sounds really annoying OP. I'd be annoyed to have an extra person under my feet, an underage person using a drill. The reading out of letters on fridge would also be annoying and sounds quite rude.

Jeez, chill out.
I really don't see a problem.
It doesn't sound like the child isn't doing half the work, ridiculous that someone would think that.
He's probably doing odd jobs that makes his dad quicker, passing him things etc and learning as he goes, perhaps his dad is lining up the drill and he's pressing the button.
When we had builders in I told them to help themselves to tea, coffee, any of the other drinks and biscuits. It's the norm. When my nan had some work done she made them all bacon sandwiches, make a cake for the afternoon and talked their ears off all day.
It's very sweet he's interested in the pets.

I absolutely hate the snobbery towards the building trade. Ironic that we praise our children for wanting to be doctors, teachers, nurses when they'd earn a hell of a lot more as a plumber and be able to pick their hours. Not that it's all about money but you get my point.

YANBU. The insurance implications alone...

I started going to work with my dad a lot younger than than that, although he tended to work in empty houses with a few people.
Some of the my best —only— one to one time with him was while he was at work.

I had a plumber come out with his son once. But he was apprentice age. Plus he wasn't allowed to actually do any work - I heard his dad explaining to him what he was doing a lot of the time and sending him out to the van to fetch things.

It's a fine line but at that age i think I'd have preferred a heads up. Also do you have to sign off on stuff once it's done. I assume with carpentry there's a fair amount of skill and trades work in it - if somethings not up to scratch can you get him to redo it? Just in case (I can't think why he would!) he let his sons handiwork show. I'm assuming he's only allowed to join hidden bits etc?

I'd have preferred a heads up but I'd otherwise not have minded. We all know childcare arrangements can fall through and id rather be flexible about it and get the job done than have him cancel. I would not want to leave a 12 year old at home all day, much better experience for him helping dad.